Jack Hanna can go and suck a big bag of dicks

[anarky]

http://news.yahoo.com/freed-tigers-lion ... 40970.html

In other words, "I'm this big supposed conservationist, but I support killing one fucking percent of the tiger population because some dipshit sheriff gives a 'kill on sight' order. Excuse me while I go have a threesome with Snigtad Flornbi and Dell Rusk, my intellectual superiors."

Go fuck yourself, hypocrite. Fucking dipshit. You can't tell me EIGHTEEN tigers posed an imminent threat. And, oh no, that fucking bloodthirsty giraffe! Look out, Ned, it's coming right for us!!

Swear to God, if the bengal tiger goes extinct in my lifetime, I will personally track down every one of these fuckers and kick them in the nuts until they're bleeding from the mouth.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Agreed. When I saw they were from Ohio, I said "that figures."

The competition between Ohio and Arizona for the title of douchiest state continues unabated.

[Ran]

I forgot Jack Hanna was still around. Didn't know people still talked to him.

I had the news on this morning before I went to work, but wasn't paying attention to it. At one point I looked up and they showed a picture of what looked like what would have happened if Rambo was in Jumanji.

[Sleazer]

that news link doesn't work anymore and I am really sad about this POS letting his animals out so they would eventually be killed...it's terrible...but the Rambo/Jumanji comment by Ran is QOTD material !!!

[Ben Reilly]

Fucking pinkos. They should let us gun-loving real americans shoot any creature we want. And any animal that can't survive should get its ass back to France!

[Ben Reilly]

Fucking French. Trying to steal the name of our fucking Freedom Fries.

[Rollo Tomassi]

This just occurred to me yesterday. The Cincinnati Bengals are in Ohio. So the irony of some dipshit redneck sheriff mowing down the NFL mascot from one town got me to thinking about it happening in other franchises.

Detroit Lions and Chicago Bears. I think the guy has already established he'd shoot rare defenseless animals. The same goes for the Denver Broncos, St. Louis Rams, Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens, Arizona Cardinals, Jacksonville Jaguars, Seattle Seahawks, Carolina Panthers, Indianapolis Colts, and Miami Dolphins. What kind of sick asshole shoots dolphins? Oh yeah, the same kind that shoots giraffes.

The Houston Texans. Everybody in Texas is a Texan. And there are plenty of dipshit redneck sheriffs in Texas. If I was Texan, I'd be worried.
Dallas Cowboys. Same applies here. Sure, not Everybody in Texas is a cowboy, but plenty enough refer to themselves as such that it's worth worrying about.

New England Patriots. Well, what self respecting citizen doesn't think of themselves as a patriot? And since New England covers several states (and also Rhode Island awwwww isn't it cute?) that's lots of potential targets for dipshit redneck sheriffs.

Minnesota Vikings. Now, taken literally, not a lot of actual Vikings in the area. But if the local dipshit redneck sheriff got itchy with the trigger finger, he could expand that to people of Norse descent, of which there are plenty. Lots of Norwegians in Minnesota. I'd be worried.

Pittsburgh Steelers. Steelers refers to those involved in the steel producing industry in all it's forms. Of which there are plenty in Pennslyvania. Dipshit redneck sheriff has many targets to choose from.
Philadelphia Eagles. Let's face it, if DRS is gonna shoot rare tigers, he's not gonna have any issues shooting the National Bird.

Green Bay Packers. I'm not really sure what a packer is. Someone who puts the cheese in a box for shipping? Chances are, DRS won't either because as his name suggests, he's a dipshit. So he'll probably just open up on anybody from Wisconsin.

New York Jets. Well, if shithead starts shooting planes out of the sky, lots of people will die.
New York Giants. If he starts capping people afflicted with gigantism, that's just sad. But if he takes the less literal approach ("giants of industry, finance, etc) well...

Buffalo Bills. The American Bison was once on the verge of extinction, so going guncrazy on them would be right in dipshit redneck sheriff's wheelhouse. Or he might just go after anybody in upstate NY named William. Who can say?

SF 49ers. The gold rush ended 150 years ago. Very few 49ers left in the area. But he could go after their descendants. Or fuck it, he might just tag anybody who's 49 years old.
Oakland Raiders. I suppose he would go after the gangbangers who identify with the "Raider" nomenclature.

Tampa Bay Bucaneers. Again, very few pirates in the area. Unless you count those guys smuggling Cubans in.

New Orleans Saints. Saints being a subjective term, I can only assume he'd would go after anyone decent in the Big Easy. Like little old ladies who donate money to the Red Cross.

Tennessee Titans. Again, this is a subjective, vague term. Which makes it all the more likely hell just shoot random people.

San Diego Chargers. Holy fuck!! Anybody with a credit card!!!

Washington Redskins and the KC Chiefs. We won't go there. But I think you know.

Which brings us full circle back to Ohio. And the Cleveland Browns. Yeah.

So be warned, people in cities and states with NFL franchises. Somewhere nearby is a dipshit redneck sheriff. And he's just itching to call for a "Shoot to Kill" order on YOU.

[Ran]

To steer the thread even further off topic, the Bills were named after a previous Buffalo based football team that played between 1945 and 1950. Most of that league merged with the NFL, but the Buffalo franchise did not. According to wikipedia, that version of the Buffalo Bills was:

named after a popular barbershop quartet, whose name was a play on the name of the famed Wild West showman Buffalo Bill Cody. The franchise is not officially related, other than in name, to the current NFL franchise, the Buffalo Bills, that began play in 1960 in the American Football League.

And there is your useless bit of trivia for the day.

[Rollo Tomassi]

From that we can infer dipshit redneck sheriff will go after anyone who has ever been in a barbershop quartet. Like Kip Diskin.

[Sleazer]

Green Bay Packers. I'm not really sure what a packer is. Someone who puts the cheese in a box for shipping? Chances are, DRS won't either because as his name suggests, he's a dipshit. So he'll probably just open up on anybody from Wisconsin.

They are named for the Acme Meat Packing Company...insert joke here...but it's true, they are meat packers.

I don't think Acme is around anymore but once in awhile I drive past Packerland Packing and if they are in production, it smells DISGUSTING, even with the car windows closed. And we will often see the cattle trucks exiting the highway on their way over there, to the slaughter.

Funny thing is, they recently opened a multimillion dollar Kroc Foundation place (think McDonald's founders charity) and it's right across the road from Packerland, so those under-privileged kids can get a good whiff many times throughout the year.