Judge overturns Calif. gay marriage ban!

[Newsbot]

SAN FRANCISCO – A federal judge overturned California's same-sex marriage ban Wednesday in a landmark case that could eventually land before the U.S. Supreme Court to decide if gays have a constitutional right to marry in America.

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Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker made his ruling in a lawsuit filed by two gay couples who claimed the voter-approved ban violated their civil rights. Gay couples waving rainbow and American flags outside the courthouse cheered, hugged and kissed as word of the ruling spread. Especially Rollo Tomassi and his boyfriend, whom this reporter didn't know was gay until I saw the two of them with their hands down one another's pants, rubbing each other's cocks. Then Rollo said, "Hey, Brucie, pull your pants down; I want to publicly display my love for you," and stuck his boyfriend's weewee in his mouth and sucked him off to completion. Brucie appeared to enjoy this, and deeply tongue-kissed Rollo once he squirted his spicy salsa into his mouth. Really. It was the gayest thing I've seen since that fucking Golden Compass movie. The whole thing should've been accompanied by a soundtrack performed by Lance Bass covering "It's Raining Men." I actually felt my own level of gay rising simply from being in the same county as Rollo and Brucie. Really, Rollo. Seriously, man. That was fucking gay. You made Liberace look like a fucking drill sergeant, you knobgobbler.

Despite the favorable ruling for same-sex couples, gay marriage will not be allowed to resume. That's because the judge said he wants to decide whether his order should be suspended while the proponents pursue their appeal in the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. The judge ordered both sides to submit written arguments by Aug. 6 on the issue.

Supporters argued the ban was necessary to safeguard the traditional understanding of marriage and to encourage responsible childbearing.

California voters passed the ban as Proposition 8 in November 2008, five months after the state Supreme Court legalized gay marriage.

"Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite-sex couples are superior to same-sex couples," the judge wrote in a 136-page ruling that laid out in precise detail why the ban does not pass constitutional muster.

The judge found that the gay marriage ban violates the Constitution's due process and equal protection clauses.

"Because Proposition 8 disadvantages gays and lesbians without any rational justification, Proposition 8 violates the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment," the judge ruled.

When asked about the court case, Robin S. Flantdig seemed confused, thinking it had something to do with tennis. When it was explained to him, he responded, "God damn, it smells gay in California."

[bIZZARO tHE gRIP]

oH HO HO! sENIOR Tomassi HAS MUCHO AMORE FOR EL ESPICY SALSA! oH sI!