the vynsane asylum

Getting old kind of sucks. Between midnight and 1 AM Wed morning, I figured out that I can't eat things with tomato sauce on them anymore.

Bananas. Don't know why but aside from the taste they literally make my stomach feel sick, like I have the flu or something, to the point I want to vomit.

I hate bananas. Oranges, too.

I developed allergies sometime in college. It took me a year or two to figure out they were allergies, and I finally was tested a couple of years ago so I know what I can and can't eat.

I've got a full-on allergy to all fish except halibut (not sure why that is, but at least I can eat one type of fish, even if it is one of the most expensive ones out there--Costco also carries a bitchin' frozen halibut in the beer battered English style) and to tree nuts. Most people hear "allergic to nuts" and automatically assume peanuts, which I'm totally fine with. I had an allergy to a lot of beans, but grew out of that as cryptically as I grew into the others.

Weird thing is, before an encounter with some really bad sushi my junior year, I had no problem with fish at all. I've always wondered if that caused the problem.

I've also got a slight "oral allergy" to a lot of fruits and fruit-based products, especially bananas, avocados, and honey. They don't do much more than make my lip or the inside of my mouth swell a bit if I have an open cut.

Shellfish, aside from shrimp, lobster, and the occasional crab, it just grosses me out. I have to be really careful with crab; so many places use imitation crab made with fish (or mix it with the crab), so there's often a chance I could get myself into trouble.

Never anything life-threatening, but my wife and mom make me keep one of those needle things. Well, I never actually carry it, but they made me get it, anyway.

hey, new guy! what's that name mean, that you're the lord of the evil spanish-speaking kites? that sounds pretty cool, just so long as you stay away from benjamin franklin.

in order to be welcomed here, you have to eat a special initiation meal: a grilled cheese sandwich. it's made with white bread, and stuffed with mozarella, cheddar, monterey jack, and swiss, and battered in parmesan cheese before being grilled. the only catch is, you have to eat the entire sandwich out of diabolical's asshole.

Zaphod wrote:hey, new guy! what's that name mean, that you're the lord of the evil spanish-speaking kites? that sounds pretty cool, just so long as you stay away from benjamin franklin.

in order to be welcomed here, you have to eat a special initiation meal: a grilled cheese sandwich. it's made with white bread, and stuffed with mozarella, cheddar, monterey jack, and swiss, and battered in parmesan cheese before being grilled. the only catch is, you have to eat the entire sandwich out of diabolical's asshole.

If the ShamWow carney guy would have been elected Vice President, crappy posts like this wouldn't exist. I hope the ghost of Billy Mays comes back high on coke and sticks some Mighty Puddy in your ass while using a Gopher to pinch your ball sack.

and i was just talking to the ghost of billy mays last night, and he said he was fucking tired of you trying to dig up his corpse and suck his dessicated, rotted dick. he said, "fuck, i hate that god damn unlimitedpudding fruitcake." something about when he was alive how you were always trying to photoshop pictures of him having gay sex with vince offer so you could jack off to them so you could squirt it in your coffee since you were allergic to milk or some sick ass shit like that.

Look who is talking. You dug up Michael Jackson just to stick his weiner in your butt to fulfill your childhood fantasy. I bet you were crying when you turned 13 because you knew you lost your opportunity to have him molest you.

Zaphod wrote:hey, new guy! what's that name mean, that you're the lord of the evil spanish-speaking kites? that sounds pretty cool, just so long as you stay away from benjamin franklin.

Nah, its just my way of saying I'm God. And old Ben best watch out, or he shall taste the lightning from me bum.

Zaphod wrote:in order to be welcomed here, you have to eat a special initiation meal: a grilled cheese sandwich. it's made with white bread, and stuffed with mozarella, cheddar, monterey jack, and swiss, and battered in parmesan cheese before being grilled. the only catch is, you have to eat the entire sandwich out of diabolical's asshole.

Alright, can do. That welcome better include unlimited access to the lumberyard and the stash from Mabudon's website though. I do have standards after all.

Don't listen to Zaphod.

And never click on a link he sends you unless you like hot man on farm animal action.

and don't eat out unlimitedpudding's mom unless you love the flavor of his jizz.

Which I do not. Thank you for the advice, Z.

Broccoli. I hate the fuckin smell of it. Makes me want to puke. Reminds me of JJL's moms gash when she isnt on a period.