the awful truth about anarky

[Zaphod]

i was visiting a sick aunt who lives next door to anarky. while lounging on the patio, sipping mint juleps, i heard an awful grunting from the yard next door. i looked over the fence, and what did i see, but anarky, completely naked, lying on his belly, grunting and thrusting. upon closer inspection, he had his hard-on stuck into a hole.

"what ya doing there, anarky?" i asked.

"i'm fucking the whole god damned world!!!!" he shouted back.

"well," i said, "you may want to be careful, because that's an ant hill. a fire ant hill." i went inside to talk with auntie hilda, and we waited for the awful screams when the ants got to anarky's wiener, which they did.

so if anarky says his dick hurts, now you know why.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

I'm confused. Where does the "awful" part come in?

[Tom Foolery]

Zaphod, is your aunt the neighbor with the..ahem...Garbage Can...issues?

[Negative Boy]

I had a similar experience. When I fucked yo mama. Who's as big as a planet. HeyO!! Get it? Because your mom is a big fatty. Ha ha burn bitch.



Actually, that's not true. I'd never fuck a fatty like your mom. Fatties are gross. But it's fun to make 'yo mama' jokes about your fatty momma.

[anarky]

Fucking liar.

I wasn't naked. I was wearing socks and a Kermit the Frog mask.

[Swedish Chef]

Sümtim Kermēe du Frøgee ist werrin der anarkee måsk.

Dats vût yoo callee dúr "Irony"

[The Grin]

Normally, I'd make a joke about making sweet love to a hole. Well, Global Warming is really what is fucking Mother Earth and that's not funny.




















Besides, I was busy getting a blow job from Zaphod's mom.

[Zaphod]

I'm confused. Where does the "awful" part come in?

because the fucking asshole didn't share!

Zaphod, is your aunt the neighbor with the..ahem...Garbage Can...issues?

no, but she did once stop up the garbage disposal with used condoms. still haven't figured that one out.

I wasn't naked. I was wearing socks and a Kermit the Frog mask.

sorry, i thought it was your face. it's understandable, right?

Besides, I was busy getting a blow job from Zaphod's mom.

so that's why she didn't answer the phone when i called to find out if she could get me some fries from hardees. selfish bitch.

[Tom Foolery]

I bet that sort of thing never happens to Señor Assbutt.

[anarky]

No, he just gets confused and says, "Now, what is my ass again? A nose? An elbow? DAMMIT!! I can never remember!!"

[Senor Assbutt]

Indeed. But the fires of liberty, they burn so hot within my breast that I cannot forget for long that my ass is also a butt, and this is the way of things, the way of freedom!