What's up with the pathetic remakes of shit

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Ryan Reynolds as The Highlander??
Why the fuck wouldn't you hire, say, an actual SCOTSMAN to play a fucking Immortal Scotsman?

I don't hate Reynolds the way some people hate Reynolds. But he is NOT a fucking Highlander.

[anarky]

I don't hate Reynolds the way some people hate Reynolds.

I do.

I would even say that I am the textbook definition of "some people."

[RoIIo Tomassi]

You are who I had in mind when I wrote that.

[Ran]

Can't remember where I heard it, but when Green Lantern came out, someone said "You know what no one ever says? 'Hey, I can't wait to see that next Ryan Reynolds movie'." If I remember correctly, they were discussing Reynolds' movie star status.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Why the fuck wouldn't you hire, say, an actual SCOTSMAN to play a fucking Immortal Scotsman?

Yeah, next thing you know they'll hire a thickly accented French guy to play the Scotsman, and then get the most Scottish man in the world to be in the movie, but have him play a Spaniard. But that would just be goofy.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Why the fuck wouldn't you hire, say, an actual SCOTSMAN to play a fucking Immortal Scotsman?

Yeah, next thing you know they'll hire a thickly accented French guy to play the Scotsman, and then get the most Scottish man in the world to be in the movie, but have him play a Spaniard. But that would just be goofy.

Pshyeah. Goofily awesome.

[anarky]

JJL, you weren't old enough when Highlander came out (or when it was new on VHS), but there's something about that movie that, absurd as it is, transcends our normal definitions of "what the fuck?"

Queen did the soundtrack to a movie about medieval dudes cutting off heads, for chrisakes.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

JJL, you weren't old enough when Highlander came out (or when it was new on VHS), but there's something about that movie that, absurd as it is, transcends our normal definitions of "what the fuck?"

Queen did the soundtrack to a movie about medieval dudes cutting off heads, for chrisakes.

JJL wasn't alive when Highlander came out. In theatres OR on VHS.
I think it might've been my first R-Rated movie I saw in theatres. I was 12. My older sister had seen it and was trying to explain it to me with the editing between the past and present, and finally just took me to see it. I was hooked. It had James Bond with a samurai sword. And the Kurgan is still one of the baddest badass villains of all time in my book.

"Happy Halloween, Ladies! Alalalalalala!"

[Jargo]

I was told today that there are plansto remake the magnificent seven with tom 'fuckingbatshitinsane' cruise in a starring role. this must never be allowed to happen.

[anarky]

Please let the Mayans actually have been right so that this never comes to pass.

I don't even hate Tom Cruise onscreen. In most of his movies, he's pretty good at convincing you he's not an insane idiot.

But The Magnificent Seven is a holy thing. It should be left alone, unless the extent of the tampering involves cleaning up the image and packaging it on the latest home video format with all sorts of kickass bonus features. It says in Deuteronomy, "Thou shalt not fuck with The Magnificent Seven. Yea, verily, if thou maketh any shitty sequels, thou shalt be damned (unless thou doth be Yul Brynner, in which case thou gettest a pass for being in the first one, and the Lord thy God cannot blameth thou for wanting an easy paycheck). And I say unto thee, if thou remaketh this movie, Lucifer shalt buttfuck you with flaming irons for all eternity."

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

JJL, you weren't old enough when Highlander came out (or when it was new on VHS), but there's something about that movie that, absurd as it is, transcends our normal definitions of "what the fuck?"

Queen did the soundtrack to a movie about medieval dudes cutting off heads, for chrisakes.

Yeah, it was released about three years before I was around. I saw it about two years ago, and remember thinking it was pretty goofy, but overall it was kinda fun, as I recall. Also, the Khurgan now plays Savage Opress, so suck on that shit. Clancy Brown rules in everything.

As an aside, the "A Kind of Magic" album has grown on me somewhat - I guess anything above than "utter hatred" has to be some kind of growth - probably due in part to the Live at Wembley album. "One Year of Love" and "Pain is So Close to Pleasure" are both still godawful, and the album as a whole sounds incredibly dated throughout most of it, but "Who Wants to Live Forever" and "Friends Will Be Friends" are both really good, and whenever "Princes of the Universe" is played anywhere, everyone in a five-mile radius will get an erection (be they man, woman, or child). The rest is somewhere in between.

Please let the Mayans actually have been right so that this never comes to pass.

I don't even hate Tom Cruise onscreen. In most of his movies, he's pretty good at convincing you he's not an insane idiot.

But The Magnificent Seven is a holy thing. It should be left alone, unless the extent of the tampering involves cleaning up the image and packaging it on the latest home video format with all sorts of kickass bonus features. It says in Deuteronomy, "Thou shalt not fuck with The Magnificent Seven. Yea, verily, if thou maketh any shitty sequels, thou shalt be damned (unless thou doth be Yul Brynner, in which case thou gettest a pass for being in the first one, and the Lord thy God cannot blameth thou for wanting an easy paycheck). And I say unto thee, if thou remaketh this movie, Lucifer shalt buttfuck you with flaming irons for all eternity."

It was a remake in the first place, so for me that kind of excuses the idea of remaking it a little bit.

[anarky]

Yeah, but it was a remake that was better than the original.

And the original was one of the best movies ever made.

[Sleazer]

What about Highlander II: The Quickening.

[anarky]

A second Highlander movie? That'd be awesome, if they ever got around to making one. The third and fourth were pretty mediocre (and didn't the guy from the TV show kill Connor in the fourth?), so they should make a second one.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Yes. It's so weird how they went directly to a third and fourth film like that.
I'm hoping at some point they get around to making a sequel.