futons vs croutons

[vynsane]

i don't recall when this started, but i've decided to embark on a long-running gag where i insist that futons are the little chunks of toasted bread you put on salads, while croutons are the uncomfortable couches that fold out to become uncomfortable beds. i think it might have been on a trip to IKEA a few months back, and since then, any time either of the two items comes up in conversation, i make the assertion per above. it annoys the crap out of my wife and daughter and i find it hilarious for some reason. i will keep doing this for the rest of my life or until it no longer amuses me, whichever comes first.

[Ran]

Somehow, that entire post makes perfect sense to me. I'm tempted to start doing it, too.

[vynsane]

HAHA, yeah, obviously it's not something that comes up very often. in IKEA, it was a futon and i said "no, dear, that's a crouton. futons are the little chunks of bread you put on a salad". then last week we were in Costco and she asked me if i wanted to pick up croutons. naturally, i said "babe, those are futons. croutons are the couches that fold out into beds". there was some time between those two instances where it came up, as well, so maybe once every month or so.

[anarky]

Reminds me of how I piss off my wife and daughter by calling the stripey ice cream "Napoleon."

When they correct me and say it's Neopolitan, I look at them and deadpan say, "Why would an ice cream be named after a French general?"

Anyway, that comes up far more often than futons, if you're interested.

[vynsane]

oof, no, Neapolitan ice cream will never come up more often than futons/croutons in this household. my wife has deep-seated trauma from her childhood regarding how, when her parents bought that type of ice cream, you HAD to take all three flavors in even distribution, you couldn't just take vanilla or chocolate, or whatever was your favorite, because then a disproportionate amount of one or another flavor will be left. i brought some home one time, and, no joke, it was like a PTSD reaction. irate yelling and crying.

[Diabolical]

Does she realize its just ice cream? lol

[jjreason]

I buy it for myself & chastise myself for eating all of the chocolate first. I get it.

[Tom Foolery]

In our house, any time someone uses a word with the prefixes ‘non’ ‘dis’ or ‘un’ someone else will “correct” their grammar with one of the other two prefixes in a snooty know-it-all voice. Even if they used the correct word and the other new word is nonsense.

Example. “Your hair looks disheveled and unkempt”

“Um, I believe you mean nonsheveled and diskempt.”

[Inigo Montoya]

Jou keep using that word. And that other word.

I do no think they means what jou think they means...

[vynsane]

Does she realize its just ice cream? lol

no. there was no reasoning. i was like "i'll eat the strawberrry, i'll eat the vanilla, you can have just the chocolate" - it didn't matter. also, it's not her, it was her parents that didn't realize it was just ice cream. they were hippies, but they had odd bugs up their asses about certain things.

[anarky]

Does she realize its just ice cream? lol

She didn't get none, 'cause she was on the welfare, and can't afford it, she can't afford it, and her father is an alcoholic!