Casting has begun on Vynsane: The Movie!

[Newsbot]

The long-delayed Vynsane: The Movie has received a metaphorical shot in the arm following a sponsorship deal with Hormel, and has moved from gathering dust to pre-production, and actor Tim Curry has scored one of the most coveted roles in the film.

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"It is with great joy and humility that I have accepted the role of Bizarro The Grin," said Curry when cornered by reporters while shopping at Figmo's. "I have always aspired to bring this character to life on the big screen, and working with Michael Bay has been such a joy."

Michael Bay is the fourteenth director to be attached to the project. He has said in various interviews that he plans to keep as much as possible of the work of his predecessor, Allan Smithee.

"We sort of screwed up at first," said Bay. "We wanted Tim Curry, but we accidentally called and offered the role to Tim Conway. I didn't know there were two actors with the name 'Tim'! Conway was understanding, he said he has such a weird name that people make that mistake a lot, and we eventually offered him the role of Diabolical, so he was happy."

Vynsane: The Movie will follow four adventurers through the Jundland Wastes, where they are trying to find a magical taco that will give them such powerful flatulence as is required to defeat the villainous Flantdig Dynasty, and its current ruler, Snigtad Flornb II, in their fartocratical government. Bizarro The Grin is a very important part in this story.

"I've had to do a lot of research, for this role is quite demanding," said Curry. "I've been studying with the real Bizarro The Grin, and, boy, I've had to fuck a lot of fathers. I didn't realize it was physically possible to fuck so many daddies in one hour. My dick was really sore after the first day, but BTG, he kept telling me, 'kEEP FUCKING THEM, YOU FAIRY!'"

Rumors have circulated online since the days of the Byzantine Empire regarding other casting decisions. It is known that Devastator will be computer-generated, The Growl will be played by the dog from Frasier, and The Griz will be portrayed by Geena Davis, in what Fox News pundits claim is a genius stroke of casting.

Bay did have one more tidbit for longtime fans of the series, however.

"We've really been trying to cast Lemmy to play mabudon," he said. "It hasn't worked out so far. Lemmy just isn't sure he can do justice to the role. We're still trying to convince him. If that doesn't work out, we'll probably use a Vengeance Tiger action figure instead."

[Ran]

You know what's sad? Tim Curry actually sounds like a good choice for Bizarro The Grin. He seems like the kind of guy that would try to fuck you in the ass.

Is the magical taco somehow derived from our nacho craze?

[Diabolical]

Is the magical taco somehow derived from our nacho craze?

That's just uninformed Michael Bay fucking with the source material.

[anarky]

Back when Tim Burton was working on it, fifteen years ago, Vynsane wasn't even appearing in the script. They'd changed it so that Vynsane was a state of mind everyone wanted to achieve, sort of like nirvana. And they had Nicholas Cage as Namblaman, who was the main character, fighting a giant spider. The only thing that actually resembled the real Vynsane in that script was when he figures out the spider isn't really giant and steps on it, then says, "God damn, you smelled gay, spider."

[Diabolical]

I've heard rumors that the White Stripes are writing the music for a Broadway musical version.
I already know it'll fail because Nathan Lane is attached to play mabs.
But you have to admit that getting Jack Black to reprise his role from the film as JJReason is pretty cool.

[mabudon]

I heard a rumour that JJ will actually be appearing as Jack Black in a cameo, I thought that was a fun twist

Dunno why Nathan Lane would be playing me, that's weird, I would have been happier with an unknown in that role

And I hear Stephen Colbert is pretty close to being signed to play Anarky- he'll have to nail the accent but it's hardly a terrible choice

[anarky]

Shouldn't be too hard: Colbert's not from too far away from where I'm from. If you listen closely to his show, when he starts cracking up, he lapses into a pretty deep southern drawl for a second or two.

[mabudon]

oh I don't doubt he has the south-east part down, but there's a weird mix of California in there that he has to get dead-on or it won't be convincing. I'm curious as to who will get the nod for Ran as there's hardly any reference material to go on

[anarky]

My fingers are crossed for Paul Stanley.

[Ran]

Did anyone else hear the rumor about Vin Diesel getting the part of Kidhuman? I also heard the Johnny Depp and Chris Tucker were offered small roles as Zaphod and Unlimitedpudding. Makes you wonder who is going to play Orbsah Stealth Ninja.

[unlimitedpudding]

Chris Tucker as me? I'm not black.

It is confirmed that Hayden Christensen will resume his role as Darth Vader. However James Earl Jones will not do the voice-over.

[Diabolical]

Why the hell is Slicker going to be a CG character?

[anarky]

Man, I'm disappointed in the soundtrack. It looks like Matchbox 20 and Fall Out Boy have been confirmed. I guess no Motorhead will be present if Bay has his way.

[vynsane]

this movie sucks. they're ABUSING my childhood.

LITERALLY!

they've got an 'origin' scene with me being ABUSED by a 7ft tall bearded lady when i go to the circus!

[anarky]

Slushiefilm has the first photo of Curry in costume!



Rumor has it this is from a scene where Diabolical discovers he is actually the father of Joe Biden (Bay reportedly has said it doesn't matter that Biden is much older, since nothing makes sense anyway), and Bizarro the Grin appears out of nowhere to bugger him for a full fourteen minutes, to the tune of "Inna-Gadda-Da-Vida" (covered here by Blink-182).

Sean Connery has been confirmed as coming out of retirement to play Grimlock. Interestingly, Gregg Berger will be playing Sean McLeod O'Doogan.