the vynsane asylum

Okay, fucking piss me off but it seems like SPOILERS just can't be avoided by anyone who is conscious at any point throughout the day.

OFFENDER #1 - Premiere Magazine. Fucking cocksuckers.

- Mace Windu "goes out in a blaze of glory"
- Padme gives birth to twins
- Anakin falls into lava and emerges as Darth Vader

OFFENDER #2 - Episode III Visual Dictionary BACK COVER

- Padme gives birth in a medical clinic

OFFENDER #3 - Deluxe Transforming Anakin/Darth Vader Figure Insert

- Anakin nearly dies in combat and falls into the lava which leads him to becoming Darth Vader

NEW OFFENDER (#4) - RebelScum.com's ROTS Photo Archive Main Page

- Palpatine declares himself Emperor, and with Anakin's help begins to remove the last vestiges of the Old Republic

- Padme goes into hiding as a result

So, with those, the trailers, the other figures and toys I've opened I've pieced together my own ROTS timeline, to be compared with that of the film once I've seen it.

As per Mabudon's assessment in the other thread, I know an awful lot about a movie I haven't seen. I can't imagine what must be out there for Spoilers, considering I've been trying to avoid them for the past 3 years.

1. Opening Crawl
2. Anakin and Obi Wan travel to Separatist Flagship to rescue Palpatine from GG.
3. Duel #1 - Anakin will defeat Count Dooku, GG will escape or will be gone by the time the Jedi get there.
4. Palpatine will appoint Ani to the Council, where Mace Windu will NOT grant him the rank of Master.
5. Obi Wan dismissed to Uatapau to deal with GG.
6. Talk of the Dark Side between Anakin and Palpatine will lead Anakin to finally fall.
7. Grand Chancellor Palpatine will continue to take more and more power for himself, and will finally declare himself Emperor.
8. Arrest team heads to Palpatine's chambers to affect the arrest, leading to.....
9. Duel #2 - Emperor Palpatine will defeat Mace Windu, Kit Fisto and Agen Kolar, Mace may be killed here by force lightning. Palpatine then flees......
10. Duel #3 - Palpatine vs. Yoda in the Senate building.
11. Obi Wan vs. GG's guards (as per deluxe figure) and then GG on Uatapau, ending with GG's body exploding somehow as per figure #36.
12. Anakin and Palpatine will travel to Mustafar for whatever reason.
13. Obi Wan sent to confront Anakin in hopes of "bringing him back alive", Padme will somehow be involved in this I'm sure.
14. Duel #4 - Anakin vs. Obi Wan ("You were the Chosen one!!!!!!!!!"), Anakin will fall into the lava.
15. Rescued by Sidious(?????) Anakin will be dealt with by the Geonosians who helped Grievous with the cyborg implants, becoming Darth Vader.
16. Padme will go into hiding once it's ascertained that Ani won't be coming home any time soon - at least in any way that would make her happy to see him.
17. Padme will give birth to the twins in some medical clinic somewhere (Polis Massans involved????).
18. The infants will be secreted away with Bail Organa and Owen Lars.
19. Fade to black.

I know I don't have anything in there about Kashyyyk or a few of the other planets, but I bet I'm pretty close. If each of those items is 5 minutes or better, that's 1.5 hrs worth of movie right there.

I so desparately want to be watching this right now, it's terrible. I'm feeling my grasp on remaining even THIS spoiler free slipping away from me minute by agonizing minute....... [:D]

Funny enough, besides a few minor points, your "largely unspoiled" reads pretty fucking close to my "MAJOR spoiled"- I didn't read the novel or any of the online "scripts", and I'm not entirely sure of the exact sequence of certain events (like, as you said, where and when exactly kashyykk fits in) but overall you have it pretty close- I am actually shocked to find that you consider the twins angle to be a spoiler.......

But yeah man, less than 16 days now, should be pretty fun

Well, we knew it was going to happen. I didn't know though, whether or not they'd deal with it during the movie, or kind of leave it up to our imagination (leave her pregnant at the end of the film sort of thing).

Same as Ani turning into Vader - I'd wondered earlier on if they might try to do it in a classic "clumsy Lucasian Secret" fashion, where it wasn't spelled out so clearly that Ani really was Vader (making look as though he died onscreen, and then having Vader mysteriously show up - still obvious, but not confirmed so to speak)- leaving that for the big reveal in ESB. Obviously that's not going to be the case.

I also think that Ani will be acting as Darth Vader before he gets the suit - I saw a small Attacktix game piece in a picture that had "Darth Vader" on the base, and Ani with red saber as the figure. That should be interesting, if he decides to kill any Jedi before donning the suit. That would go a LONG way toward making him bad enough for my liking.

The Mustafar playset also has Anakin labelled as "Darth Vader," but he has a blue saber.

I'm about on the same level as you, unfortunately. I know a couple of extra tidbits, but wanted to go in completely clueless.

I advise you to stay away from the Entertainment Weekly with the six covers. Major, major spoilers in huge type. . . but they have an 8-point disclaimer in front of it, so I suppose it's okay.

Little things that I can put together. Like I know where one well-known Jedi is fighting, but know that s/he doesn't leave that planet. Hmmm, killed by Clonetroopers or Vader, perhaps?

Hmmmmmm...... I'm vexed by that - which is good. I read over the figure inserts, but the different Jedi all seem to be "leading forces on ******", one planet or another, and I didn't study them to keep it all straight. I know Yoda's on Kashyyyk, and I know the three Jedi that are tasked with arresting Palpatine. Other than that, it will be very interesting to see who bites and - and by who's hand.

EDITED: Fucking sonsofwhores, RebelScum had a couple of other "spoilers" in there description of ROTS in the figure photos section! I've had to add "Padme goes into hiding" and "Palpatine declares himself Emperor" to the list. Sorry if you didn't know.

What? Palpatine is the Emperor?

Seriously, did you not know for about 20 years that Anakin fell into lava?

I also know something that most people would consider a <b>HUGE FRIGGING SPOILER</b>. Funny thing is, I don't think it's much of a spoiler myself. It's something I expected from being hammered over the head with it in the <i>Dark Rendezvous</i> and <i>Jedi Trial</i> novels, as well as a seeming throwaway scene in an earlier movie. I asked my wife about it (remember, she's the one who wanted to be spoiler-free but broke down and read the novelization a few weeks ago), and she confirmed it. She was rather surprised I knew about this, but I told her how incredibly obvious it was from the books. Maybe I'll actually convince her to read one of the others.

I'll tell you what it was on May 19. . . or maybe May 20, depending on when I get online.

Okay, cool. I'll hold you to it. Oh - and about your smart alecky second last post.... bugger off.

Of course I know Palpatine is the Emperor - it's the nuances. I didn't know if he'd seize power, or if he'd finagle the Senate into granting it to him - I didn't know if he'd declared the Jedi Council corrupt or if he'd just suggest it to "Senator Jar Jar" or some other unknowing shlub and let the machinations of the galactic senate go through "the proper channels" on behalf of the Sith. That's what I meant. What's going to happen is painfully obvious - it's the how's and why's that (I'm clinging to hope) will surprise me a few times on opening night.

Go my tickets by the way, 2 for the 12:01am Wednesday nighter.

I thought Jar Jar was Vader?? no? Im almost certian there is a scene where Palpatine helps him to tuck his ears under the helmet.. wait, maybe he is a decoy. I forgot what planet they find Han Solo on. but he is a young boy in the movie,. about 13.. go figure Padme gets the hots for him.. what is it with her and young boys?? anyway,. thats what sets Ani off to be the bad guy.. but yeah, Im pretty sure Jar Jar becomes quite a powerful Sith in this one.


at the time of writing this.. 11 days. 16 hours. 12 minutes, 30 seconds..

And here I am laughing on Saturday morning reading this thread - I now have 11 days and 16 hours left on the nose.

Just missed you, Smo. ; )

The milk in my fridge is spoiled. Anyone want some?

if you wait long enough doesnt it become yogurt?

This conversation has turned sour.............

Figure #35 also included a minor spoiler on the insert......







The dark force powers have an "unpleasant" and "unexpected" effect on Darth Sidious (hence the mouldy look head to interchange with the normal one). I guess that means he's surprised by the change in him brought about by using the dark side - which is ANOTHER FUCKING SPOILER as far as I'm concerned. Only 2 more sleeps though, and all the questions will be answered.

NO MORE SLEEPS (unless you're takin a nap)
I am pretty stoked myself, I have tried to avoid geting excited but now that it's so close I can't hardly stand it....
Every TV spot puts my blood pressure right up to a million, I think this film is gonna fucking rock so hard

OR not... [beard]

I think it'll be a great film too.