the vynsane asylum

While waiting for Speed Racer to start and watching some of the summer blockbuster trailers me and my buddy laughed our asses off at the CLEAREST example yet of a theory we've long held- a theory recently all but proven by the "wickerman comedy trailer"

The two ABSOLUTE WORST looking idiotic comedies BOTH featured catchy 80's mo-town style tunes AND the announcer (in that voice where buddy is smiling SO hard cos what he's dropping is the BOMB) totally punching "THIS SUMMER" at about the 3/4 mark of each trailer

This combination is an absolute guarantee that the property in question is a screaming pile of shit and they KNOW it

Movie that might be good (or in which the studios have some confidence) will almost invariably name a specific date- IF the date is said in that big ominous "this here is HEAVY shit" voice, the film very well might suck. IF the date is simply shown onscreen at the end of the trailer, the film very well could be good

But once ya hear "This Summer, Mel Gibson hits the Snooze Bar" the film is rotten dogshit

Please note that this will have NO reflection on box office, matter of fact I think it truly does work on the plebes it's aimed at

Anyone else see this?? Anyone with any "This Summer" sightings can go ahead and post 'em here for posterity/reference

This didn't really apply to Dick Tracy (the poster was a silhouette of Dick with the tagline "Next summer, they're out to get him"). But I think back then they didn't nail down the dates as far in advance as they seem to now.

Damn, I need to get fucking Dick Tracy already. C'mon, deepdiscount sale!

and one cannot forgot IN A WORLD...

Oyes, good call Vyn, I forgot that one

if you string "This Summer" along with "in a world where..." and then add something about "One man will[verb]" it should make anyone with any common sense actually condemn the film with expletives

One of my fave routines (which I totally failed to pull at Speed cos I was too excited) is to wait for the silence between trailers (the ones that get the most cheap guffaws from the audience usually being the ones that set me off) I like to utter totally insipid comments about the contents of the preceding trailer- like for a zany, mad-cap stupidity fest I'll observe something like "Hmmph, TOTALLY unrealistic" or for pixar ones I'll say something along the lines of "Man did that look fake"

I have gotten more laughs than the trailers themselves- I know it probably pisses some folks off but it is a kind of protest against the volume of pure shit you have to sit through before seing the fuckin thing you paid for- aren't there enough ads IN the films via product placement?? Like in Transformers for example, they should have either not made the movie one big stupid advertisement, OR let it be a flagrant advertisement and cut down some of the 45 minutes of actual advertising in front of it- the film was criminally long as is, padding it out like that should have been a punishable offence (tho there are a great many aspects of that "film" that should have been legally actionable, fuck I still think a clas-action suit should be brought by the "victims" of that shitstorm)

I thought there was a thread of stupid potential "In a world..." trailers. Can't find it. Taking over this thread. This came to me out of the blue:

In a world where a good old-fashioned buttfuck is a declaration of war, and everyone has shit on their dicks....

In a world where shit grows on trees, the Doodoo Baron is the happiest man in town.

No idea what the fuck that means.