I fucking HATE cell phones!!
Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 2:49 pm
Who's with me?
I have a cell phone. Why do I have a cell phone? I originally got it because it came with free long distance. And because I drove about an hour on a pretty deserted road every morning and night. And now, well, I don't, and I have long distance on my home phone. But I keep the phone, because I want it for emergencies or for business contacts.
I got my wife one a few years ago. She tends to stay several hours late after school's out and no one's there to answer the school phone. She just doesn't watch the clock. It's nice to have some way to contact her and say, "Okay, you're still at work, and not dead in an alley."
But that's all they're good for. I'm sick of seeing dumb fucks and bluetools (kudos to whichever of you coined that word) talking on the goddamned phone every fucking minute of their lives. Yeah, it's great to interact with people. It's great to have some quiet time alone, too. Like my wife's mother--she's bored to tears if there's not a football game or soap opera on. She won't watch anything else. So she gets on the phone. She's constantly on the phone. Even in the grocery store. It's amazing. Her sister and my brother are the same way.
What makes it worse is that, in the age of cell phones, everyone expects you to be at their beck and call. Idiots will call one of us, leave a message, and immediately call the other. Then they'll ask, "Why didn't you answer your phone?" Um, maybe because I think it's a bad idea to answer the phone and listen to your dumb shit when I'm ordering tacos, maybe?
I give my cell phone number out only to business contacts and people I need to meet "on the go" now. Like I gave it to jjreason when we met up at Comic-Con. I talk to KH and mabs sorta often on the phone, but they don't even have my cell phone number. It's nothing personal. I just know I'm probably not likely to be able to speak for more than a minute if I'm not in a position to answer the home phone. (Hell, you two know that sometimes I can't speak long even when I can answer--especially KH, who has the mutant power to call during dinner.)
I gave the number to family a couple of years ago, specifying it was for emergencies. "Emergencies" means anything, apparently, even "I haven't talked to you in six hours."
So I call them on my cell phone. Since they call so fucking much, we got the same provider so we don't have to pay much. But I still can't get over the "I'm looking at vacuum cleaners and just thought I'd give you a call and see what you had for lunch" mentality. WTF?
And cameras. Why the fuck do you need to carry a phone with you all the time, first of all, and why the goddamned fuck do you need a 0.1 megapixel camera with you at all times? Are you worried fucking Superman is going to save the day in front of you, and you'll be stuck without a camera? Here's an idea: buy a cell phone if you need it, and buy a separate digital camera that actually works! Stupid cockfaced moron.
Worst of all are text messages. Quick history lesson: before cell phones, businessmen carried pagers. Then came cell phones, which made pagers obsolete. Only some clever fucknut decided to market paging as "hip" and it became text messaging. I would like to find out who came up with that idea and forcefeed him his own testicles. Without actually removing them first.
The problem with these things is, aside from the fact that they're fucking stupid as all fucking getout, every goddamned moron thinks they're cute and automatically assumes everyone else is just as stupid. They cost extra, people! Just because you get a plan where you pay $10 extra a month to send a fucking million of these to your retarded friends doesn't mean everyone does. We got half a dozen fucking text messages from various people (my wife gives out her number like candy, and mine just about as freely) wishing us merry Christmas and happy new year. We have to pay for every goddamned inane one-sentence message, whether we read them or not. Worse, we've told every one of these shitheads multiple times that we don't subscribe to this shit and have to pay to read their garbage. And they continue to do it because they're too stupid to see that everyone isn't an idiot like they are. Like one of my wife's friends: she just had a baby. Mrs A's been trying to call her for two weeks to talk to her. She sent a fucking message last night saying just "Happy New Year." Fuck, you're so fucking busy you can't call and say "I can't talk now, but happy new year?" But you can type it out on a fucking 9-key phone? WTF?
Of course, the fucking providers won't let you just not accept the messages. When you call and ask them to block all text messages, they suggest paying $10 for the "unlimited" plan so you don't have to pay per message. This is their fucking cash cow. They know idiots will continue sending them. And, sadly, there aren't any alternatives to these big dishonest conglomerates.
I told Mrs A we should see if we can set up an autoresponder, even though it will cost to send it, that says, "We do not subscribe to text messaging. Your message just cost us $0.25. Thank you. In the future, please call." She said we could not do it, since it's rude.
Stupid me thinks it's not as rude as making me pay a fucking quarter for your dumb shit, whether I want to read it or not. Fuck, if you're that obsessed with fucking typing, send me a goddamned e-mail. At least that shit's still free.
I have a cell phone. Why do I have a cell phone? I originally got it because it came with free long distance. And because I drove about an hour on a pretty deserted road every morning and night. And now, well, I don't, and I have long distance on my home phone. But I keep the phone, because I want it for emergencies or for business contacts.
I got my wife one a few years ago. She tends to stay several hours late after school's out and no one's there to answer the school phone. She just doesn't watch the clock. It's nice to have some way to contact her and say, "Okay, you're still at work, and not dead in an alley."
But that's all they're good for. I'm sick of seeing dumb fucks and bluetools (kudos to whichever of you coined that word) talking on the goddamned phone every fucking minute of their lives. Yeah, it's great to interact with people. It's great to have some quiet time alone, too. Like my wife's mother--she's bored to tears if there's not a football game or soap opera on. She won't watch anything else. So she gets on the phone. She's constantly on the phone. Even in the grocery store. It's amazing. Her sister and my brother are the same way.
What makes it worse is that, in the age of cell phones, everyone expects you to be at their beck and call. Idiots will call one of us, leave a message, and immediately call the other. Then they'll ask, "Why didn't you answer your phone?" Um, maybe because I think it's a bad idea to answer the phone and listen to your dumb shit when I'm ordering tacos, maybe?
I give my cell phone number out only to business contacts and people I need to meet "on the go" now. Like I gave it to jjreason when we met up at Comic-Con. I talk to KH and mabs sorta often on the phone, but they don't even have my cell phone number. It's nothing personal. I just know I'm probably not likely to be able to speak for more than a minute if I'm not in a position to answer the home phone. (Hell, you two know that sometimes I can't speak long even when I can answer--especially KH, who has the mutant power to call during dinner.)
I gave the number to family a couple of years ago, specifying it was for emergencies. "Emergencies" means anything, apparently, even "I haven't talked to you in six hours."
So I call them on my cell phone. Since they call so fucking much, we got the same provider so we don't have to pay much. But I still can't get over the "I'm looking at vacuum cleaners and just thought I'd give you a call and see what you had for lunch" mentality. WTF?
And cameras. Why the fuck do you need to carry a phone with you all the time, first of all, and why the goddamned fuck do you need a 0.1 megapixel camera with you at all times? Are you worried fucking Superman is going to save the day in front of you, and you'll be stuck without a camera? Here's an idea: buy a cell phone if you need it, and buy a separate digital camera that actually works! Stupid cockfaced moron.
Worst of all are text messages. Quick history lesson: before cell phones, businessmen carried pagers. Then came cell phones, which made pagers obsolete. Only some clever fucknut decided to market paging as "hip" and it became text messaging. I would like to find out who came up with that idea and forcefeed him his own testicles. Without actually removing them first.
The problem with these things is, aside from the fact that they're fucking stupid as all fucking getout, every goddamned moron thinks they're cute and automatically assumes everyone else is just as stupid. They cost extra, people! Just because you get a plan where you pay $10 extra a month to send a fucking million of these to your retarded friends doesn't mean everyone does. We got half a dozen fucking text messages from various people (my wife gives out her number like candy, and mine just about as freely) wishing us merry Christmas and happy new year. We have to pay for every goddamned inane one-sentence message, whether we read them or not. Worse, we've told every one of these shitheads multiple times that we don't subscribe to this shit and have to pay to read their garbage. And they continue to do it because they're too stupid to see that everyone isn't an idiot like they are. Like one of my wife's friends: she just had a baby. Mrs A's been trying to call her for two weeks to talk to her. She sent a fucking message last night saying just "Happy New Year." Fuck, you're so fucking busy you can't call and say "I can't talk now, but happy new year?" But you can type it out on a fucking 9-key phone? WTF?
Of course, the fucking providers won't let you just not accept the messages. When you call and ask them to block all text messages, they suggest paying $10 for the "unlimited" plan so you don't have to pay per message. This is their fucking cash cow. They know idiots will continue sending them. And, sadly, there aren't any alternatives to these big dishonest conglomerates.
I told Mrs A we should see if we can set up an autoresponder, even though it will cost to send it, that says, "We do not subscribe to text messaging. Your message just cost us $0.25. Thank you. In the future, please call." She said we could not do it, since it's rude.
Stupid me thinks it's not as rude as making me pay a fucking quarter for your dumb shit, whether I want to read it or not. Fuck, if you're that obsessed with fucking typing, send me a goddamned e-mail. At least that shit's still free.
Yeah, I can't download ringtones for $3 for my new phone ($3? WTF!!!), but I don't have to worry about all these "inspirational" text messages from people I don't know who apparently have the wrong number. (Truth be told, I wouldn't even know how to text them back and tell them the number is wrong. I think so lowly of text messages that I don't even fucking know how to do anything with them.)
