the vynsane asylum

Dude, I can't fucking stand it when people ask me for money.

I went to Santa Barbara the other day, and in a period of like a half an hour, I got asked for money 3 times.

And they didn't ask for spare change. They asked for a dollar. All 3 of the vulva chandeliers (*that's a swear word i made up) asked for a whole dollar.

That's a lot of fucking money.

If you're going to ask someone for a whole dollar, you'd better have a service to offer in exchange for that whole dollar. Be it a silly dance, a poem, or a jonty tune.

You can't just ask for a dollar and offer nothing in return. That's communism.

But I'm fucking sick of it.

I'm tired of people asking me for money.

There are some people living on the streets where you can tell that they are actually mentally ill and they are not capable of taking care of themselves. And I give those people money on occasion if they're not too aggressive.

But there are those others. There are those teenage runaways who wear those over-sized raver pants that were cool like 7 years ago, and you're like, "Dude, you live on the streets. People are constantly walking by you wearing the most up-to-date fashions. As a person who lives on the streets, you have more access than anyone on all the popular trends. What is your excuse for wearing raver pants? And how did you manage to find those things? They don't even make them anymore."

When I was in Santa Barbara, this dumb slut asked me for a dollar.

And I smiled and said to her, "Today is your lucky day. I don't have a dollar, but I do have an opportunity. I have this crisp job application for Wendy's. I suggest you take advantage of this."

I actually didn't have a job application on me. I just said I did. I lied to her.

As I walked away, I heard her call me a bitch or something. I don't even know.

But sometimes, I think I should give them money. Because you know they're just gonna buy drugs with it.

And that gives a chance of an overdose and possible death. So if the teenage runaway who I gave money to dies from an overdose, that's one less labia couch (*another swear word I invented) on the streets bothering me for money.

And this other time, there was this chick who was on the streets with a baby and she was asking for money.

And this bitch asked me for money, thinking that I would care about her stupid baby, which I totally didn't. I'm the wrong person

She was like, "Could you spare a dollar?"

And I was all, "Spare a dollar? No. But I could spare you some advice. And my advice to you is to shake that baby and get out of my way."

I don't fucking care about someone else's baby.

I have a disregard for human life at any stage.

I mean, I'm not gonna go out and kill your baby. I just won't stop you if you try to kill it.

Unfit parenting is just natural selection, and I'm not one to go against nature.

They shouldn't be asking me for a dollar, they should be asking me if I will allow them to live.

Cause the next person who asks me for a dollar will soon be asking for medical attention.

BumCake wrote:Cause the next person who asks me for a dollar will soon be asking for medical attention.

yeah, but you'll just end up paying for it out of your health insurance premium anyway, so better just to make with the dollar. it'll come out cheaper in the long-run.

there's a guy in the city (and by "the city" i mean the ONLY city you can call "the city") who lets you take out your frustrations on him for a dollar. maybe it's gone up now due to inflation, but i think for the right people it's well worth it, and he's a genius for doing it first.

on the "entertain me" tip, my friends and i were taking the subway back to our school and this guy walks into our car, fashioned thusly: dreads, plaid skirt and blue tights, with a harmonica, a wooden cane, and pulling a radio flyer wagon full of a bunch of crap. he stops in front of us, starts beating the cane on the ground and playing the harmonica in a general sort of "wah wawa WAH, wawa wa wah WAH" and then every four "wah wah's" stops and yells out "thriller!!!! thriller night!!!" and starts in again on the "wah wah's". we threw bills at him like he was a stripper. that was a nice end to a great night.

"I WANT an harmonica!"- Hawkeye Pierce

Bumbitch, can I have that Wendy's application...all I can eat spicy chix sandwich mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

'Ox is that a new euphemism for pussy that I've not heard yet ?