Reassurances
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:10 pm
I would like to take a moment to reassure all members of the vynsane.com forums that there is absolutely no threat presented by any so-called Minions of Douche, Scions of Douche, or Legions of Douche. I base this upon a document prepared for us recently entitled, "Minions, Scions, and Legions of Douche Determined to Strike vynsane.com." Said document is merely an historical anecdote, and full of whimsy.
The real threat lies in terrorists. They're everywhere! If you're not careful, they might put AIDS in your cereal. Won't that be horrible, when you eat a bowl of Corn Flakes and then Osama knocks on your door and says, "Ha ha! I put AIDS in your cereal"?
Terrorists are also behind the WGA strike. Those WGA members are only frontmen for Al Qaeda, and they're undermining our society by depriving us of Two and a Half Men. Devious!
Osama is everywhere. He's in your backyard, peeing on your flowers. He's at the mall, buying all the underwear in your size. He's at the grocery store, taking bites out of all the apples. He's even in your car, filthying up your air filter. But we don't know where he is, and it's not important. All you need to know is this: Whenever you even think of voting Democratic, the terrorists eat a baby somewhere in upstate New York. You don't want that, do you?
Just be afraid. Be very afraid. But not of anyone linked to this fictitious Doctor Douche character, who has never put forth any nefarious but indistinct plans for forum domination.
We also have evidence that Twiki is really the futuristic version of that fat, lying bastard Michael Moore.
The real threat lies in terrorists. They're everywhere! If you're not careful, they might put AIDS in your cereal. Won't that be horrible, when you eat a bowl of Corn Flakes and then Osama knocks on your door and says, "Ha ha! I put AIDS in your cereal"?
Terrorists are also behind the WGA strike. Those WGA members are only frontmen for Al Qaeda, and they're undermining our society by depriving us of Two and a Half Men. Devious!
Osama is everywhere. He's in your backyard, peeing on your flowers. He's at the mall, buying all the underwear in your size. He's at the grocery store, taking bites out of all the apples. He's even in your car, filthying up your air filter. But we don't know where he is, and it's not important. All you need to know is this: Whenever you even think of voting Democratic, the terrorists eat a baby somewhere in upstate New York. You don't want that, do you?
Just be afraid. Be very afraid. But not of anyone linked to this fictitious Doctor Douche character, who has never put forth any nefarious but indistinct plans for forum domination.
We also have evidence that Twiki is really the futuristic version of that fat, lying bastard Michael Moore.
