I was reading the BBC News, as it's the only reliable source for what's really going on, and found this article, dated August 27th:
Newsbot attacked by ruffians shouting lyrics to REM song!
In the wee small hours of August 26th, the esteemed chap we know as Newsbot was attacked by several ruffians who were singing, quite out of tune, a little medley called "What's the Frequency, Kenneth?" by the Yank band REM.
The primary assailant, who placed a sack over the Newsbot's noggin and locked him under the bonnet of her auto, was at first believed to be the comely Katie Couric, who succeeded Newsbot's look-alike, Dan Rather, at the CBS Evening News across the big pond.
"It couldn't have been me," said Ms Couric, in her typical American accent, "because I was doing an expose on Britney Spears at the time!"
Other witnesses claim that the Newsbot's main assailant emitted a strange glow from her eye, which was blue in colour. As Ms Couric does not possess a glowing eye, this would likely eliminate her from consideration.
The bobbies in New York City are investigating the attack on the beloved elder statesman of internet news reporting, as well as the identity of this nefarious cybernetic she-rogue.
