WASHINGTON - A judge ruled Monday in favor of a dry cleaner that was sued for $54 million over a missing pair of pants.
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The owners of Custom Cleaners did not violate the city's consumer protection law by failing to live up to Roy L. Pearson's expectations of the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign once displayed in the store window, District of Columbia Superior Court Judge Judith Bartnoff ruled.
"A reasonable consumer would not interpret 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' to mean that a merchant is required to satisfy a customer's unreasonable demands" or to agree to demands that the merchant would have reasonable grounds for disputing, the judge wrote.
Bartnoff ordered Pearson to pay the court costs of defendants Soo Chung, Jin Nam Chung and Ki Y. Chung.
Pearson, an administrative law judge, originally sought $67 million from the Chungs, claiming they lost a pair of trousers from a blue and maroon suit, then tried to give him a pair a pair of charcoal gray pants that he said were not his. He arrived at the amount by adding up years of alleged law violations and almost $2 million in common law fraud claims.
Bartnoff wrote, however, that Pearson failed to prove that the pants the dry cleaner tried to return were not the pants he taken in for alterations.
Pearson later dropped demands for damages related to the pants and focused his claims on signs in the shop, which have since been removed.
The court costs amount to just over $1,000 for photocopying, filing and similar expenses, according to the Chungs' attorney. A motion to recover the Chungs' tens of thousands of dollars in attorney fees will be considered later.
Chris Manning, the Chungs' attorney, praised the ruling, which followed a two-day trial earlier this month.
"Judge Bartnoff has spoken loudly in suggesting that, while consumers should be protected, abusive lawsuits like this will not be tolerated," Manning said in a statement. "Judge Bartnoff has chosen common sense and reasonableness over irrationality and unbridled venom."
Pearson did not immediately respond to a call and an e-mail seeking comment.
Public opinion of the verdict is greatly divided. When asked in a "man on the street" manner, JediTricks was quoted as saying "Pants! Woo!" while BizarroJediTricks simply stated "ooW! stnaP!".
They need to come up with some kind of retribution law where the possibility of the plaintiff getting hit in the nuts with a hammer and paying a million dollar fine exists, so people will think twice about bringing suit for stupid reasons. I remember reading about a couple that sued a another couple who lived around the corner and down the street for building a house that was similar to theirs, thus bringing down the value of their house. If I was a judge and that came across my docket, i would rule that the couple become homeless anf have to eat their own feces for clogging up the judicial system with such banal bullshit.
**BANGS GAVEL**
Case dismissed.
"Say Jim! WHOOOO! That is a bad outFIT! Whooo!"--Pimp, Superman The Movie "You're an idiot, Starscream." --Megatron,Transformers: The Movie
That's why I don't wear pants anymore. It's just too expensive.
Eating their own feces is probably consided cruel and unusual punishment. Besides, it isn't nearly fatal enough. I say soak the losers in salmon flavoring and feed them to a bear.
They should amend that amendment, too. Sometimes you need unusual punishments to get it through some fucktard's head that (s)he's a fucktard. Like the women that sued McDonalds because her coffee was hot. I say submerge her in a vat of hot coffee, while her children scream this mantra over and over at her for 48 hours. "COFFEE IS SUPPOSED TO BE HOT." Then ban her from drinking coffee ever again.
Or the fatasses that sued whomever because eating fast food made them fat. Round them up, ship them off to the middle of Africa and let them fend for themselves for a year. Then when they get back, have them thank their lucky fucking stars they live in a country that has fast food places every quarter mile and take responsibility for their own fat asses instead of blaming others. Stupid wankers.
**BANGS GAVEL**
Case Dismissed.
"Say Jim! WHOOOO! That is a bad outFIT! Whooo!"--Pimp, Superman The Movie "You're an idiot, Starscream." --Megatron,Transformers: The Movie
Are you going to run for President on the Bear Party ticket? If so, we need to have a Primary here pretty soon. That means EP and Anarky will have to face off in a debate.
Teachers, Firefighters, etc will make more money than lawyers and plastic surgeons.
Companies can hire all the illegal immigrants they want, provided they pay an "Immigrant" tax to the government equal to the annual salary of each immigrant they hire.
Wal-Mart will be dissolved.
Reality Television will be outlawed, as well as stupid gameshows with insipidly easy questions where dumb people have a chance to earn lots of money for knowing next to nothing.
Any politician caught practicing bipartisan politics instead of giving each issue the same careful consideration, will be forced to join a "Dirty Dozen" type military unit and sent to Iraq on a suicide mission. Hillary automatically goes. Bitch.
Hasbro's board of directors will be tried for treason, and the company will become a dept of the cabinet. The Secratary of National Fun will be the newest cabinet post, replacing the Dept of Homeland Security, which does fuckall.
"Say Jim! WHOOOO! That is a bad outFIT! Whooo!"--Pimp, Superman The Movie "You're an idiot, Starscream." --Megatron,Transformers: The Movie
I know, Missy is only a stepmother, but I gave in. She begged and pleaded saying that Bill's dad can't get it up. I haven't talked to either of the Bizarros to confirm it. Honestly, I don't really want to know. She also said that if he were around, it would really freak Bill out knowing that I was nailing her, too.
Here is another fine example of stupidity. Pier One Imports, the retail chain which specializes in non mainstream products from other countries is recalling hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of glassware because apparently, IT BREAKS. Furthermore, sometimes, this broken glass MAY CUT SOMEBODY. They have gotten complaints about this. I can only imagine some fat, white trash bitch threw a glass at her redneck, philandering drunk of a husband and it smashed against his forehead, and they decided to write a strongly worded letter to Pier One saying they had no idea glass could do that and it's not safe to be selling it.
HEY DUMBFUCKS. IT'S GLASS. IT BREAKS AND ITS SHARP WHEN IT BREAKS. NEWSFLASH.
Next thing you know, some ignorant douche will call Target and complain because he bought a set of steak knives and while he was juggling them he grabbed one by the blade and cut his hand and it's irresponsible for Target to be selling sharp pointy things without a warning on the box about juggling them, so he's suing. GAAAHHHH!! FUCK YOU IGNORANCE!!!!
"Say Jim! WHOOOO! That is a bad outFIT! Whooo!"--Pimp, Superman The Movie "You're an idiot, Starscream." --Megatron,Transformers: The Movie
And now some bitch is suing because Starburst chewy fruit candy sticks to her teeth. When I'm president, there's going to be some paperwork mix-up and that bitch is getting deported back to Antarctica. That's right somehow she managed to sneak across the Antarctic/American border. We ain't having that.
"Say Jim! WHOOOO! That is a bad outFIT! Whooo!"--Pimp, Superman The Movie "You're an idiot, Starscream." --Megatron,Transformers: The Movie
Eternal Padawan wrote:And now some bitch is suing because Starburst chewy fruit candy sticks to her teeth. When I'm president, there's going to be some paperwork mix-up and that bitch is getting deported back to Antarctica. That's right somehow she managed to sneak across the Antarctic/American border. We ain't having that.
