JESUS!!!

Post by **vynsane** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 3:27 am

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/

thank god he's always with french horn players! that's all i gotta say!

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 5:46 pm

What's he doing behind the carpet layer? Was Jesus gay? Not that i have aproblem if he was. That's cool. But he surrounded himself with men. Were I hiring apostles, I would've surrounded my self with the hot co-ed honeys and told 'em 'clothes are the work of the devil! if ye be decent folk, ye should doff the work of satan and be free in your natural state!' Then i would've been surrounded by the hot NAKED co-ed honeys. Pimpin mack son of God style....

Post by **vynsane** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:35 pm

the "bank teller" one is funny, too... it looks like he's counting over her shoulder - so jesus is a manager at a bank?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:26 pm

Just at the branch office. No way would they let him run the whole show downtown...

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:32 pm

Executive: "Hey Jesus, watch this game I like to play. I'll drop my pen on this list of my employees and whomever's name gets hit, I Fire!"

Jesus: "That is so inappropriate. Let me blindfold you first that it may be a fair firing..."

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:34 pm

Jesus: "Aye verily. Catcher In The Rye was one of my favorites in Junior College as well."

Student: "Buzz off, creepy..."

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:39 pm

Jesus:"...no, no , no. AT the MS-DOS prompt you type c, colon, backslash. Then alt 4 and shift at the same time...oh! here, let me do it...."

Secretary: "O, this is so confusing..."

<b>OR</b>

Secretary: "No, I'm sorry. According to our records, there's noone listed by that name."

Jesus: "But I made the appointment MONTHS ago...Check it again."

Secretaty: "(sigh) What was the name again?"

Jesus: "Jesus! JESUS! The son of God..."

Secretary:"No need to get snippy, potty mouth."

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 8:42 pm

Clown:"Twenty clams to whoever can make the little girl cry first, Jesus!"

Jesus: "Is she Catholic?"

Clown: "I think so."

Jesus: "Piece of cake. You are on, funny man..."

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:03 pm

Dude, what's with all the pictures of Blind Melon's Shannon Hoon? Freaky-deaky shit.

I'll have to tell my disturbing story about "Jesus gonna kill you," but I don't feel like typing it right now.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Thu Sep 25, 2003 6:53 pm

The damn site is always over its bandwidth limit, dammit... that santana-lookin guy IS pretty creepy....

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:46 pm

Jesus tapdancin' Christ (pun totally intended). Some new ones were added. In "Truck Driver", it looks like he fuckin' hijacked the rig and is telling the driver (Is that Bill Pullman playing the roll of the driver?! Holy shit! I think it is!), who is scared out of his fucking mind, to drive into that group of school aged children who are helping and old lady cross the street because she's on her way to the vet with a puppy with a broken leg that he got by saving the Pope from a church fire while he was blessing cancer survivors who sew clothes for the needy that volunteer their time teaching children to read.

Some thoughts on some of the other "With you" images:
*Jesus and the Vetrenarian: Do you think Jesus is mocking him? After all, he could just snap his fingers, fix the broken dog, and save the family $500.

*I like "Fisherman", because he looks like a very drunk Jim Morrison.

*"Juggler": That's actually a picture of Josie Scott from Saliva watching Jim Carrey (from Dumb and Dumber). Or is it Tom Cruise? Lurch maybe?

*"Secretary": "Snigtad Flornbi? I wasted my time creating shit like that?!"

*"Executive": First off, does Jesus <i>really</i> need coffee? And the perfect caption for the pic? "You're fired!"

*"Weightlifter": "Tonite on (insert wacky sitcom title here), the roll of white weightlifter will be played by Henry Rollins, Wayne Brady will play black weightlifter, and Adam Duritz of Counting Crows will play the reole of Jesus".

*"Preacher":"Dude! Who's hangin' on that cross?! Is that you? Is it? That's what I thought. Shut the fuck up!"

Yep, I just bought a first-class ticket to hell.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Fri Mar 17, 2006 9:50 am

MAN thanks for diggin this one up, I had all but forgotten about the images of the christian messiah in all them "realistic" settings..

No doubt, that truck driver totally looks like he's fucking terrified.. he kinda reminds me of Johnny Cash, a young version BTW

I like how Jesus is always sorta "dropped" into images, he kinda fucks up the composition of just about every pic (bodybuilders is one that demonstrates this)

And notice the hit counter?? 194 when I looked and I swear I looked at this page at least 10 times and sent it to about the same number of people- us idiots may be the only traffic that site has ever seen!!

Slicker · Post by **Slicker** » Fri Mar 17, 2006 10:07 am

I personally like expectant. It looks like Jesus is happy with his handy work...if ya know what I mean.

Dell Rusk · Post by **Dell Rusk** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 12:16 am

jesus is a cool guy he is in my class but it is not pronounced jesus like the guy in church but like if it was spelled hayzoos.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 3:03 pm

The guy Jesus is helping in "Welder" looks like an ITT dropout. The artist captured the "I'm-broke-but-I-own-a-several-hundard-dollar-NASCAR-jacket" goatee perfectly! Also, I bet the guy drives a Nissan truck (circa 1994) with one of them diamond-plate toolboxes in the back. You know, for his welding supplies. And jumper cables.