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Strange Bat-Results regarding the mechanical parts
Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:47 pm
by Batman
Attention, citizens:
After investigating the strange mechanical parts I... received from Rogue II and Anarky, I realized they were a sort of... advanced computer module. I connected the pieces (luckily, they were shipped with detailed instructions) and hooked them to the Bat-Computer.
The resulting barrage of information was quite, strange, shall we say:
Code: Select all
RUNNING: SYSTEM DIAGNOSTICS..........
MEMORY UNIT FULL OF VICTORS. INADEQUATE ROOM IN PRIMARY MEMORY MODULE FOR THE WEAK..........
CHECKING FOR UPDATES..........
10 CRITICAL UPDATES DETECTED..........
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 1 (OF 10): KYLIE MINOGUE..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 2 (OF 10): JAMES BROWN..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 3 (OF 10): BEE GEES..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 4 (OF 10): GREASE SOUNDTRACK..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 5 (OF 10): KC AND THE SUNSHINE BAND..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..
WARNING!!!! CRITICAL ERROR!!!!
OUTPUT DEVICE "BOOTY" NOT DETECTED!
UNABLE TO SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE, SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE, SHAKE PERIPHERAL DEVICE!
CANCELLING UPDATE PROCEDURE!
Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:48 pm
by Batman
I will continue the investigation as soon as I am able to procure this... booty.
Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:58 pm
by Robin
Holy rusted metal, Batman! Look at all those parts on the floor. Let me bend over and pick some of them up.
Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 8:39 am
by mabudon
I think I might be able to help here- I got a BIG package in the mail yesterday, I actually needed help getting it into the house- it's a REAL weird lookin thing, made of something that sorta seems like plastic but is REALLY heavy- it has some writing on it but it's not any language I've ever seen, and it seems to have pieces of dried seaweed stuck to it...
If you like, I will see that it is shipped to Bruce like the other mysterious bits were- I have a feeling it's got something to do with this mystery...
Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 2:31 pm
by Darth Vader
"I sense something. A presence I have not felt since..."?
Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 2:40 pm
by Eternal Padawan
Darth Vader wrote:"I sense something. A presence I have not felt since..."?
...Breakfast? You ate a lot of eggs this morning. That'll fuck up anyones plumbing.
Oh. I got a box last week, but I haven't opened it.
Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 2:44 pm
by Eternal Padawan
Huh. Weird. I opened it and it looks like a giant gunmetal gray bear trap... but different. The whole thing smells of salt. I'll pass it along to Batman and see if it helps.
Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 8:50 pm
by kidhuman
I got a box today too. It was empty. I think Bizarro The Grin tried to mail himself here again and forgot to seal himself inside it again(thankfully). Anyway, I will pass to Batman this empty box for any hair follicles that might have fallen into it.
Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 11:37 am
by Batman
Kidhuman, it turns out that your box contained... a fart, and nothing more. If you had examined more... closely, you would've seen Slicker's name on the return label.
The fumes were quite... pungent. I am working to revive Ace the Bat-Hound as we speak.
Mabudon, the reason the language was unfamiliar is that it was Latverian. Although the piece did not at first seem to... integrate well with the other parts, I was able to use a Bat-Hammer to force it into a connection port on the earlier contraption.
Sadly, this piece does not seem to be the missing "booty" that we need to solve this case.
Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 3:13 pm
by Zero
YEAH I I GOT TO KNOW YOUR NAME
WELL AND I COULD TRACE YOUR PRIVATE NUMBER BABY
ALL I KNOW IS THAT TO ME
YOU LOOK LIKE YOURE LOTS OF FUN
OPEN UP YOUR LOVIN ARMS
I WANT SOME
WELL I...I SET MY SIGHTS ON YOU
(AND NO ONE ELSE WILL DO)
AND I...IVE GOT TO HAVE MY WAY NOW BABY
(AND NO ONE ELSE WILL DO)
AND I...IVE GOT TO HAVE MY WAY NOW BABY
ALL I KNOW IS THAT TO ME
YOU LOOK LIKE YOURE HAVING FUN
OPEN UP YOUR LOVIN ARMS
WATCH OUT HERE I COME
YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY
RIGHT ROUND LIKE A RECORD BABY
RIGHT ROUND ROUND ROUND
YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY
RIGHT ROUND LIKE A RECORD BABY
RIGHT ROUND ROUND ROUND
Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 5:55 pm
by Batman
Quite odd... Apparently, the device I hammered in this morning was a sort of Latverian... transmitter. I received a Bat-Message just now from a mysterious entity identifying himself only by the initials R.R.
The message is as follows:
Don't know much about dancin'
That's why I got this song
One of my legs is shorter than the other
'N' both my feet's too long
'Course now right along with 'em
I got no natural rhythm
But I go dancin' every night
Hopin' one day I might get it right
I'm a dancin' fool, I'm a
Dancin' fool
I hear that beat; I jump outa my seat,
But I can't compete, 'cause I'm a
Dancin' fool, I'm a
Dancin' fool
The disco folks all dressed up
Like they's fit to kill
I walk on in 'n' see 'em there
Gonna give them all a thrill
When they see me comin'
They all steps aside
They has a fit while I commit
My social suicide, I'm a
Dancin' fool, I'm a
Dancin' fool
The beat goes on
And I'm so wrong
The beat goes on
And I'm so wrong
The beat goes on 'n' I'm so wrong
The beat goes on 'n' I'm so wrong
The beat goes on 'n' I'm so wrong
I may be totally wrong, but I'm a
Dancin' fool, I'm a
Dancin' fool
*Youwsa, youwsa, youwsa*
I got it all together now
With my very own disco clothes, hey!
My shirt's half open, t'show you my chains
'N' the spoon for up my nose
I am really somethin'
That's what you'd prob'ly say
So smoke your little smoke
Drink your little drink
While I dance the night away, I'm a
Dancin' fool, I'm a
Dancin' fool
I may be totally wrong, but I'm a
I may be totally wrong, but I'm a
I may be totally wrong, but I'm a
FOOL-uh!
Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 6:19 pm
by Stormshadow
Does this have anything to do with the mysterious BOOTY you are looking for?
Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 6:44 pm
by Ran
Batman wrote:Kidhuman, it turns out that your box contained... a fart, and nothing more. If you had examined more... closely, you would've seen Slicker's name on the return label.
The fumes were quite... pungent. I am working to revive Ace the Bat-Hound as we speak.
I thought farts had to be stored in bottles. Who ever heard of a boxfull of farts?
Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:11 am
by Batman
Using the Cybertronian... Booty I absconded from Louie the Lilac yesterday, I believe that I have completed this odd... contraption.
I am now connecting it to the Bat-Computer to see if this... alleviates the problem we encountered earlier.
Code: Select all
RUNNING: SYSTEM DIAGNOSTICS..........
MEMORY UNIT FULL OF VICTORS. INADEQUATE ROOM IN PRIMARY MEMORY MODULE FOR THE WEAK..........
CHECKING FOR UPDATES..........
10 CRITICAL UPDATES DETECTED..........
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 1 (OF 10): KYLIE MINOGUE..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 2 (OF 10): JAMES BROWN..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 3 (OF 10): BEE GEES..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 4 (OF 10): GREASE SOUNDTRACK..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 5 (OF 10): KC AND THE SUNSHINE BAND..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 6 (OF 10): KOOL AND THE GANG..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 7 (OF 10): ISAAC HAYES..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 8 (OF 10): MOTOWN..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 9 (OF 10): ASSORTED 1980S NEW WAVE ONE-HIT WONDERS..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
DOWNLOADING UPDATE 10 (OF 10): C&C MUSIC FACTORY..........
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE..........
INSTALLING..........
VERIFYING THE DOWNLOAD..........
DONE!
YOUR SYSTEM MUST BE RESTARTED IN ORDER TO COMPLETE THE UPDATE PROCEDURE.
RESTART NOW? Y
RESTARTING.
Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:14 am
by Grimlock