What's up with the pathetic remakes of shit

[Rollo Tomassi]

Roman Polanski does okay.

[Sleazer]

'Nark, I grew up on the NOES films and I think I assumed Old Freddy was guilty of both...maybe the old films didn't touch on it like the new one does, but I just assumed it was an element. And I think by part 6, wasn't it obvious? Honestly, what's the point of Freddy being a "child killer" if he wasn't also involved in...that.

Regardless, I saw it yesterday and thought Haley was FANTASTIC as Fred (and I'm a huge Englund fan so I was skeptical about re-casting him). I'll take Englund of course, but Haley was also great. As for the rest of the movie, it was a mixed bag for me...some good elements but also some annoying things that I don't want to bother itemizing at this time.

[anarky]

Leaving it to the imagination and spelling it out are totally different, though. And, IIRC, didn't any subtext in the original movies involve Freddy and teenage girls who looked like they were in their 20s, anyway?

[Caligula]

Watch thy tongve, knave! Freddy Krveger's lovemaking to the children makes him even more sympathetic to me than before. If only Roman Polanski had directed this work of art, 'twovld be perfect!

[Diabolical]

Okay, no need to start a new thread on this. What are everyone's thoughts on the new Freddy being a child molester rather than a child killer?

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Freddy wasn't supposed to be likable, he was supposed to be feared.
Where the original series went wrong, IMO, is when the made him into a wisecracking cartoon character.

I haven't seen a NOES movie in years (not counting Freddy vs. Jason) and have no real interest in seeing the remake, but I will say that Jackie Earl Haley seems like a great choice to play Freddy.

[Rollo Tomassi]

I was thinking about this last week before the movie obviously tanked, but the ad campaign for "Macgruber" seemed really fucking desparate by making such outrageous claims as "The best Action Comedy since Beverly Hills Cop!" and "Makes The Hangover look like Steel Magnolias!" and then seeing that "critic" they are quoting is some online douche from JoBlo.com. I mean that in addition to the really unfunny scenes in the trailers it jsut made the whole thing sort of sad and pathetic. Also, mullets aren't ha ha funny. They are really pathetic and sad and putting them in your movie, even as a joke, makes me not want to watch it ever.

I put this in here because its basically a remake/parody of MacGyver and fuck if it deserves its own thread.

[anarky]

I read there's actually a remake of MacGuyver in the works. Sad, really.

As to your other point, the internet has made it much easier to come up with quotes hyping your bad movie. Once, the marketing people had to take quotes out of context; someone could say, "This could be a good movie if it wasn't the worst pile of shit ever," and it would be quoted in the ad as, "A good movie." But there's some idiot somewhere online saying whatever stupid thing you want. And I don't think the average Joe has figured out that some guy from macandmeistheawesomestever.blogspot.com doesn't have quite the training as Roger Ebert.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Well, that and the critic's name is printed so tiny on the TV screen it doesn't really matter anyway.

Another warning sign is that the "review" commercials usually come out after the movie is released. Not three weeks before.

Critics are becoming marginalized in any case. It's like political pundits. We've got one actual president and 50 million "armchair" presidents with blogger sites.

Speaking of remakes of shit. How soon before they run out of TV shows to make movies from? Where's the "Delvecchio" movie? Oh, and the best fucking remake EVER that hasn't been made yet is "Tales of the Gold Monkey". That's on my to-do list.

[Sleazer]

I enjoyed Macgruber. Yes it was dumb, incredible so, however some of the nonsense was humorous to me.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Why the fuck are Adrian Brody and (more importantly) Sarah Polley in Splice? I mean, Brody is an Academy Award winner. Okay, I guess he worked with a pedophile assfucktwat, so his decision making skills are suspect. But Polley is usually a bit more discerning in her movie choices. It couldn't have been the paycheck since the budget on this looks like a hobo's aluminum can collecting payday.


Oh, and I put this in the Pathetic Remakes topic because is Splice is just a shitty C-movie remake of every "science gone awry" cliche shit movie ever made. It's like Alien and Species and HollowMan and Mimic had a fucktard orgy and barfed Splice out of their collective vagina.

[anarky]

I honestly thought it was a remake of or sequel to Species when I saw the trailer. They even used a similar font for the logo, didn't they?

[Sleazer]

Entertainment Weekly gave Splice a rating of A-

I was surprised to see that because I would have assumed this would get panned. I've seen the trailer multiple times and found it painful every time.
I do like Sarah Polley, though.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Entertainment Weekly gave Splice a rating of A-

I was surprised to see that because I would have assumed this would get panned. I've seen the trailer multiple times and found it painful every time.
I do like Sarah Polley, though.

Was it Lisa Swartzbaum or Owen Gleiberman? Because LS has a long history of panning good films and loving shitty films. And her reasons are really sophomoric. For example, she would give Spider-Man a C- because "nobody would wear an ugly red and blue costume like that" or some equally insipid reason.

[Sleazer]

Was it Lisa Swartzbaum or Owen Gleiberman? Because LS has a long history of panning good films and loving shitty films. And her reasons are really sophomoric. For example, she would give Spider-Man a C- because "nobody would wear an ugly red and blue costume like that" or some equally insipid reason.

It was Lisa, and I agree with your assessment of her trends when it comes to movie reviews.

However, I also think Owen Gleiberman is a tool.

.

[Rollo Tomassi]

I agree Owen is a tool, but for different reasons. At least I can disagree with points he makes about films he doesn't enjoy but still find his reasons valid. Lisa will hate on a film because the Key Grip or Best Boy dated her cousin in college and she didn't like the space between his teeth, therefore the movie he worked on sucks. Why does she still have a job?


Speaking of pathetic remakes of shit, what's up with 'Nikita' coming to the CW this fall? A remake of another TV show that was a remake of a movie that also had another film remade of it? Hollywood is so creative and original. And from the trailer I saw, the new Nikita can only fight evil spies and whatnot when she is missing several articles of clothing.