the vynsane asylum

Lone Survivor - Good, intense war flick.

Justice League: War - Meh, if DC is going for a New 52 animated continuity, they're going to screw themselves.

Don Jon - Overrated. Joseph-Gordon Robin plays a Jersey Shore douche and jerks off a lot.

Tangled - Far better than I was expecting.

History of the World Part 1 - Classic.

Frozen - A total 180 from Tangled. Why do people love this shitty movie?

The Batman Superman Movie - Never did see this three-parter. I don't think I had the WB/CW at the time.

Spaceballs - Another classic. Hadn't seen it in ages and I still remember every line.

Ender's Game - Far better than I expected and better than it should have been, but it was clearly trying to set up a franchise.

Sons of Anarchy - Started from the beginning. Four episodes into Season 3.

Old School - Caught it on tv the other day. Still funny, even with the edited cussin'.

Robocop - Bought the Blu-Ray. Also had a free movie ticket for the remake, which I'll probably use Wednesday.

Took the wife to see That Awkward Moment the other night. Total date movie. A chick flick starring guys, with a few R-rated chuckles. Could've been far worse.

This afternoon I used my free Robocop pass. Like I figured - pure mindless, popcorn flick. Bears little resemblance to the original. Alex Murphy is gravely injured and becomes Robocop thanks to a greedy corporation. That's about the only connection.
I forgot it had such an impressive cast - Samuel L Jackson (as a tv talk show host), Michael Keaton, Gary Oldman (almost unrecognizable for some reason), Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K Williams (AKA Chalky White as Lewis), Jay Baruchel, Abie Cornish (the chick from Sucker Punch).

And I took my niece to see The Lego Movie this evening. Far better than it looked. The trailers and tv spots didn't grab me much. The Batman shtick was overrated, but the ghost bit fucking killed me. I was hoping to see more licenced cameos though.

The licensed thing is kinda whack because there are Star Wars characters, but no Marvel, PotC, etc characters and they're all owned by The Mouse. Obviously Warners stacked it with their own properties like DC, Lord of the Rings and I think TMNT is theirs as well. But I wonder if the lack of other license was WB not bothering to reach out or if the other studios just said no thanks.
Ah well, maybe for the inevitable sequels.

Machette kills. Awesome. Brilliant. Pure gold. Nuff said.

The last days on Mars. Fucking awful pile of shite. Not a single character I didn't want killed. Never have I seen so many retarded jerkwad characters on screen together. Fucking abysmal and the writers need putting before a firing squad for their crimes. Just the biggest pile of dogshit to be put on film ever. EVER!!!

This is 40 - bought it for $11 at target when grabbing "Catching Fire" last night, because i'm on a paul rudd kick. parts are absolutely hilarious, parts are downright depressing, and parts are actually dramatic.

the thing that kept me from really enjoying the movie is how completely out-of-touch it is with what it's like to be the "common man" while trying desperately to write about it. both the main characters are obsessed with their weight and health, when they're both 80% more physically fit than most of america. one main plot of the movie is that they're really tight on money - i can totally get behind that. but it's because they're both running niche self-proprietor businesses (an indie record label and a fashion boutique), constantly lending money to one of their fathers to the tune of $80k and live in an enormous mcmansionhouse.

Shite, haen't posted in awhile.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Yet another attempt to reboot a dying franchise. Felt like a half dozen geopolitical spy thrillers kitbashed together. And the threat wasn't very compelling.

Monuments Men. Vastly overrated and underwhelming WWII film that wastes it's talented cast. Boring.

Robocop. Milquetoast reboot. A few very brief cool moments buried under a mountain of shitty meh. Also wastes talent like Keaton, Oldman, and Laurence Fishburne Sam Jackson. But it was fun because I took my 11 year old to the late IMAX showing that night. We didn't get home until like 1:00 AM. I'm an awesome dad.

3 Days to Kill. Costner is trying to get some of that Liam Neeson Taken old man action star money. Not great, but alright for a rental.

Non-Stop. Speaking of Neeson, this was a stupid action movie full of plot holes and the only cool moment got shown in the trailer a thousand times. Jan and Feb are a dumping ground for a lot of shitty films. I'm glad I don't pay for any of these.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues - Kinda disappointing sequel. There are some good laughs, mostly one-liners, but I just wasn't feeling it.

Avengers Confidential: Black Widow and The Punisher - When The Punisher shits all over one of SHIELD's investigations, Fury forces Frank to clean it up with Black Widow. Some good action, but I'm not that big of an anime fan.

Pacific Rim - After watching six seasons of Sons of Anarchy, I gave it another watch. Charlie Hunnam is better here than he was in all six seasons of SOA.

Veronica Mars - The Kickstarter record-breaker arrives one year and one day later. Essentially a very long episode that could easily act as a new pilot for a relaunch. There were a couple things I wasn't happy with but it was great to be back in Neptune.

Divergent. Meh adaptation of a Meh Young Adult novel. Meh.

Muppets Most Wanted. Semi-humorous follow up to the fantastic Muppets film from a couple years ago. Most of the parts I laughed at would go over the target audiences head. Unless 8 year olds know who Danny Trejo is. I doubt it.

Noah. My favorite part of the Bible is when the giant alien rock creatures had the giant Lord of the Rings battle at the foot of the Ark. Those were good times. But the knife fight inside the Ark in the third act, that was fun too. Apparently the Vatican released the abridged version of the Old Testament sometime ago. Now we finally get the real story.
No, but seriously, the film was pretty good. I think some people expecting to dislike it will love it, and many more expecting a traditional Noah story are going to flip their shit. And I don't care what anyone else says, a moist Emma Watson tribbing Jennifer Connelly is delightful to witness.

Heat. It's like the Watchmen of movies - it never gets old and is at meets or exceeds the highest potential for the respective medium. Absolutely brilliant - every shot, every part, every line (I even teared up this time at the part that always gets me, which surprised me).....right up until the very VERY end. I think he could have written a better last couple of lines.

Tom Foolery wrote:Noah. My favorite part of the Bible is when the giant alien rock creatures had the giant Lord of the Rings battle at the foot of the Ark. Those were good times. But the knife fight inside the Ark in the third act, that was fun too. Apparently the Vatican released the abridged version of the Old Testament sometime ago. Now we finally get the real story.
No, but seriously, the film was pretty good. I think some people expecting to dislike it will love it, and many more expecting a traditional Noah story are going to flip their shit. And I don't care what anyone else says, a moist Emma Watson tribbing Jennifer Connelly is delightful to witness.

Please tell me they included the weirdness that is Genesis 9:20-25. Look it up if you don't know it. Trust me on this.

jjreason wrote:Heat. It's like the Watchmen of movies - it never gets old and is at meets or exceeds the highest potential for the respective medium. Absolutely brilliant - every shot, every part, every line (I even teared up this time at the part that always gets me, which surprised me).....right up until the very VERY end. I think he could have written a better last couple of lines.

It's a fucking masterpiece. And I still can't convince my wife to watch it.

"What am I doing? I'm talking into an empty phone."
"What? I don't understand."
"Because there is a dead man on the other end of this fucking line."

Chux wrote:Please tell me they included the weirdness that is Genesis 9:20-25. Look it up if you don't know it. Trust me on this.

That is actually sorta in the movie. They show him getting blitzed on homemade wine and the three sons do find him passed out butt nekked in his cave. The two cover him up, but there's no eye aversion and there's no Curse of Canaan. (How did Noah know what Ham would name his kid? And if he didn't, why wouldn't Ham just give his kid a different name after his father's drunken loony rant curse?)

Her - I saw it this weekend and loved it. The story is all too plausible and I liked how the technology wasn't really that far ahead of what we have now – even the foulmouthed video game character was a funny extrapolation of people shit-talking each other on multiplayer. The design of the film was fucking gorgeous, and both Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson were amazing as it was almost a one-man onscreen show for the former and a complete VO role for the latter. Now I just want me one o' them robot girlfriends.

Anchorman 2. Horrible, but not unexpectedly so. I still found myself laughing a few times in the face of it. Will Ferrell's movies are so often like this, that I think he must do it on purpose - you're more shocked into silence over the sheer stupidity than you are caught by the quick jokes of some other Apatow movies like Superbad.

Sabotage. A waste of a good cast in a decent, violent, but ultimately forgettable action film trying to be a murder mystery. The "twist" is kinda limp.
Olivia Williams shows her titties.

Draft Day. Sports film about (duh) the Cleveland Browns GM wheeling and dealing picks in the hours leading up to the titular big event. Not bad, a good cast, but nothing noteworthy. Chadwick Boseman is impressing me with every movie he's in. Marvel should snag him for T'Challa while he's relatively cheap.

Brick Mansions. Oh, Paul Walker, your last movie is awefulsome. Apart from decent parkour/free running stunts, this was stupid film with horribly funny dialogue and one dimensional characters. And a fucktardedly dumb "twist" at the end.

Man on a Ledge. wrongly convicted cop Sam Worthington plans a diamond heist while standing on a ledge faking a suicide attempt. Ed Harris looks freakishly gaunt as the bad guy. Genesis Rodriguez is tasty hot, especially in her skivvies.