the vynsane asylum

Might have to watch Croods on cable if I get a chance if you're recommending seeing it once. I'd avoided it because those designs, well, they fucking give me nightmares.

Tom Foolery wrote:Now You See Me. Four magicians pull off a series of heists with illusions as part of a mysterious benefactor's revenge plan. Fun to watch, but the twist felt tacked on.

The end ruined the movie for me.

Tom Foolery wrote:We're the Millers. Hilarious drug smuggling movie with Jason Sudeikis and Jennifer Aniston, who should be a much hotter stripper than she actually is.

They made her hotter than she is using the same groundbreaking CGI they used for Cameron Diaz in Bad Teacher.
Now if those flicks were made like 15 years ago...

Tom Foolery wrote:Kick Ass 2. Not so great sequel that can't decide whether it wants to be more violent or more campy than the original.

Yes.

Tom Foolery wrote:Fast and Furious 6. The franchise motors right along with more exciting driving scenes(although far too many are at night) and lots of cheesy bravado dialogue. Also manages to cull a few of its ever expanding cast. I'll admit it, these movies are a guilty pleasure. It's like eating Long John Silver.

I recently gave this series a second chance. I saw the first once back when it first came out on DVD and thought it sucked ass. After all the hype (and Paul Walker's death) I gave 'em a second shot. The first still sucks, is filled with cheesy dialogue and the movie just stops with no real wrap-up*. The second was even worse. The third was even worse than the second. It doesn't get even moderately entertaining until the fourth flick, which is stupid entertainment, as is the fifth flick.
Haven't watched 6 Fast 6 Furious 6 yet, but I will.




* And what is up with that first race? These races are supposed to be quarter mile races with top speeds going over 120 mph, so the race should be over in what, like 15 seconds max (and that is pushing it)? So then why is that first race like 5 fucking minutes long?

I haven't even seen the 2nd or 3rd F/F movies. I watched the first as you did, and thought it silly. I came back with the 4th thru 6th where the driving stunts just became ridiculously over the top and therefore enjoyable. Also, I think the 3rd one actually happens between 6 and 7.

Oh, and I just watched The Purge tonight. Dreck. Stupid film.

Tom Foolery wrote:Oh, and I just watched The Purge tonight. Dreck. Stupid film.

That looked awful. And it bothered me that, in SoCal at least, they actually advertised it with billboards stating that all emergency services would be canceled on X date for 24 hours. No identification that it was a movie at all. C'mon, marketing twits! You know people are inherently fucktarded and litigious--are you just trying to get some moron to die because he had a heart attack and his moron wife had seen that billboard and really thought everything was shut down, just so you can pay her twenty gabazillion dollars?

The Lion King. For probably the 100th time. How Beauty & the Beast was nominated for Best Picture and this wasn't, I'll never know. This is the best Shakespeare work written in the 400 years after Shakespeare's death.

Sucker Punch. Wow. Um. Yeah. I won't go so far as to say I wasted two hours. The movie was visually stunning (though the action scenes could've used 2000% less stupid slo-mo). I'd actually put it near the top of the short list of the most visually impressive films ever. The soundtrack was excellent. The scenarios were insanely awesome in their imaginativity (is that a word?). I actually liked the multiple levels of pseudo-reality and trying to figure out what was going on at first. And, let's be honest, the female cast was just pretty damned hot and it really didn't hurt that they wore prohibition-era lingerie for much of the movie.

But, man, this was such a squandered opportunity at greatness. The various realities started to bug me early on, when it became clear that no amount of trying to decipher what is going on would result in any answer, and more and more obvious that this was just a string of amazingly done action sequences with absolutely no story. And I mean no story. (Sure, there was a plot that had some events that, in the end, turned out to be linear. But Stephen King would've been ashamed of this at his most mercenary.) The actors--well, actresses, since most of the cast was hot women--appeared that they might have some talent, but there was no way to showcase whether this was the case with the cardboard characters they were playing. Franky, it seemed a little tawdry, almost like a porno without sex or nudity--which would've been fine, but the movie seemed like it should be something like the first Matrix or Fight Club or Inception, a really fucking smart movie that makes you rethink what a movie can be. I'm still not sure what the hell happened in the real world during the movie; by the time they started dropping real clues, I'd stopped caring enough to try to figure it out. And the ending, shit, there's a way to break every rule of storytelling in such a way that makes clear that you know what those rules are, and there's a way to slap the audience in the face while shaking your penis with your other hand and shouting, "HA HA HA U FAGS R STOOPED!!!1!" and making it painfully obvious who the true "stupid" person is.

Frankly, the thing that made the most sense was when the words "Written and Directed by Zack Snyder" flashed on the screen (because I'd forgotten all about that little detail). And then it all clicked: "Oh! Visually impressive, but completely without a story or characters you can give a shit about. Entirely flash over substance. Overused slow motion. But the soundtrack's pretty cool. Yup. Zack Snyder. It all makes sense now!!"

I stated my Sucker Punch/Zach Snyder thoughts on FB.

Out of the Furnace - with Christian Bale, Casey Afleck, Willem Dafoe and Woody Harrelson.
The Google synopsis: "Russell Baze has a rough life: he works a dead-end blue collar job at the local steel mill by day, and cares for his terminally ill father by night. When Russell's brother Rodney returns home from serving time in Iraq, he gets lured into one of the most ruthless crime rings in the Northeast and mysteriously disappears. The police fail to crack the case, so - with nothing left to lose - Russell takes matters into his own hands, putting his life on the line to seek justice for his brother."
I still have about 30 minutes or so left to watch. Its a good, but slow movie.

All Is Lost - Robert Redford stars in a one-man show about a man struggling to survive on the open sea after a series of disasters. Gravity in the sea with very little dialogue. Gets a bit boring at times, but pretty good.

The Purge. As previously stated, it was awful. But it was so bad, I had to mention it twice. It sucked.

The To-Do List. When you think about it, I'm surprised nobody thought of this premise before. A nerdy high school valedictorian decides to lose her virginity and prepares with the same attitude as if she were studying for SATs and College Prep. Pretty fuckin' funny.

Olympus has Fallen. This is the more violent and macho version of WhiteHouse Down directed by Antoine Fuqua. So-so action flick with lots of bodies piling up. I think I liked WHD a bit better because it realized the premise was hokey and went tongue in cheek.

Don Jon. A Jersey guy with a "porn addiction" (that's a made up thing, right?) tries to get in Scarlet Johannson's pants, but ends up with Julianne Moore because she'll do butt stuff. Or something.

Justice League:Flashpoint Paradox. They tried to condense Flashpoint and all its mini tie ins down into one 90 minute film. Surprisingly dark for an animated film. Lots of Superheroes murdering each other.

The Call. Decent thriller about a 911 operator facing off against a serial killer who kidnapped topless Abigail Breslin. The end was a bit hokey when she goes rogue and tracks the guy down herself, but the first 2/3rds were solid.

Hangover III. Seriously unfunny follow up. I might have mildly chuckled a half dozen times. And those may have been pity chuckles. The only time I seriously laughed was the Post Credits Sequence. Where was THAT movie?

RIPD. Van Wilder and The Big Lebowski in MiB + Ghostbusters. Routine SFX movie. Although, I thought Jeff Bridges put a lot of effort into his character, and found his old west lawman semi enjoyable. But mostly it was a forgettable summer movie.

The Internship. Pretty funny with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson as unemployed salesmen getting unpaid internships at Google. It's your typical underdogs story but I enjoyed it. I watched the Unrated version which had an extended titty bar scene in the middle of the film with like 20 minutes of bewbs.

Jack the Giant Slayer. Not bad fantasy film that undeservedly tanked at the B.O. And it has Ralph Brown and Ian McShane in it. Everybody needs to watch every Ralph Brown movie ever.

Tom Foolery wrote:Hangover III. Seriously unfunny follow up. I might have mildly chuckled a half dozen times. And those may have been pity chuckles.

I give them credit for doing something different this time and coming full circle with the story. The Hangover Part II was almost the same movie as The Hangover, just in a new location.

RIPD. But mostly it was a forgettable summer movie.

Mostly forgettable? No, totally forgettable.

The Internship.

I still love the review I read when it came out: "The funniest movie of 2005."

Jack the Giant Slayer. Not bad fantasy film that undeservedly tanked at the B.O. And it has Ralph Brown and Ian McShane in it.

I thought it was rather lifeless with shaky less than impressive giants. Why not use real actors in makeup?

Escape Plan - The Stallone/Schwarzenegger team up movie you wanted 25 years ago. I totally called the end.

The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty - Starts great with those great fantasy elements, but loses its focus quickly.

Short Term 12 - Amazing indie flick about a woman and her job at a juvenile residential facility. My wife worked in a similar place and she said it was a pretty accurate portrayal for the most part. One of my favorites of 2013.

American Hustle - Totally watchable, but pretty overrated. Although I couldn't stop thinking "Hey, there's Batman, Rocket Raccoon, Lois Lane and Hawkeye!"

Her - The Spike Jonze flick the internet is jizzing buckets over. It is very good. Good thing Joaquin Pheonix was able to pull this off, or it could have easily been a disaster. And I never realized Scarlett Johansson's voice was that fucking hot.

American Hustle - Totally watchable, but pretty overrated. Although I couldn't stop thinking "Hey, there's Batman, Rocket Raccoon, Lois Lane and Hawkeye!"

I do that constantly. Mystique was there, as well.

Tom Foolery wrote:

American Hustle - Totally watchable, but pretty overrated. Although I couldn't stop thinking "Hey, there's Batman, Rocket Raccoon, Lois Lane and Hawkeye!"

I do that constantly. Mystique was there, as well.

Oh shit, how did I miss that one?



Also briefly features two of 'narks personal superheroes - Jack Huston and Shea Whigham

It's better than Nucky most prominently being in that shitpile Monsters University in 2013. (No comments on Van Alden and that other movie I've still got zero desire to watch.)

Lone Survivor. The story of a Navy SEAL op that went tits up and killed 20 of the Navy's Finest. I swear, I didn't even recognize Taylor Kitsch. He put on like 50 lbs of muscle. And not the "underwear model look at my abs" type muscle. Like the "my neck is now an oak tree" Navy Seal type muscle. Dude was fuckin' huge. The movie was fuckin' intense. How those guys were walking around after taking so many bullets and falling off TWO mountains is beyond me. Heroes, every damn one of 'em.

Go see this movie.