the vynsane asylum

Bump this to the top

bump ur momma faggit

We are discussing this, thanks for the suggestion.

Fuck you Dell.


Dear Hasbro, why do you even bother with the Q&A?

Because it gives you, the fan, the opportunity to ask us questions that we answer to the utmost.





What the fuck is up with all of the damn clones?

We are making a shitload of cash off of these things because army building fans keep buying them, all we have to do is come up with new paint schemes. Stay tuned for the leopard print Clone, Vader's black leather S&M clone, the red Christmas Clone, the Green St. Patrick's Day clone, and the pink "I love you" clone. In the future, we may start selling ad space on the so they will look like Nascar cars.


How long before you either resculpt or re-release every figure from the Saga and POTJ lines?

We're glad you asked! We're working on it, and expect to be completed sometime in late 2007. We'll then start recycling them again, and hope to produce each one at least twelve times by 2018.

We're also giving you the maximum bang for your buck with the upcoming "Cantina Han Solo Collectors Tin Collection," which will be a hasbrotoyshop.com exclusive next year. Each will feature a beautiful tin collectible box, containing the beloved 1999 Cantina Han Solo sculpt with one new figure, for the unbelievably low suggested retail price of $34.99 + tax + shipping! Production of each will be limited to 600, and look for sets containing Yarna dal Gargan, Wilrow Hood, a new Mara Jade, Ben Quadinaros, and the Tonnika Sisters. But not Smuggler Lando. We don't believe there's a market for this figure.

Hasbro, how does it feel to eat puppies? Such a despicable act would chill normal people to their very soul, and yet you seem like the sort of SOBs who engage in this behavior several times a day. How do you live with yourselves?

Quite easily in fact, though the thought that other folks find our dining on whelps disturbing disturbs us greatly. We'd like to offer you fine people an apology, and yet another opportunity to spend $15 on our extra special non-repainted, repacked 500th Darth Vader figure!

How do you expect to have interest continue in the Star Wars line by sending NO NEW PRODUCT to retailers over the next four months?

It doesn't really bother us. We sold our souls to get a whiff of Carmen Electra's panties and things couldn't be better. We have all the major toy lines and are happy to be screwing all of them up. By 2010, we hope to merge Transformers, Star Wars, GI Joe, and Marvel into one big pile of steaming horse poop. You're going to love Darth Maul with his adamantium claws on his fantastic transforming ninja-cycle.

You treat lists of upcoming Star Wars waves like they may cause a threat to National Security. What's with all the secret squirl shit?

We only do it just to piss you little bitches off.


Why are the Star Wars toys so damn boring lately?

George Lucas removed the bungee cord that was threaded thru the ring in our nose several months ago and we've been aimlessly wandering around the halls here at Hasbro ever since. That and we've produced WAY more figures than was ever neccassary. But somehow we still get use out of these thirty year old molds of Snowspeeders and At-Ats. Suckers.




Are your children embarrassed of you when their friends at school find out their parents are responsible for all toys sucking nowadays?

After we sold our souls for Carmen Electra's panties, all of us gave our left and right nuts to get the Marvel toy deal. Since we are all eunichs, we don't have children of our own.

How much longer are you going to push that Transformers vs. Star Wars Attaticks things?

Until Hell freezes over bitch boy.


What is in store for us at toy fair this year?

We at Hasbro have heard a rumor that there will be a ferris wheel at Toy Fair. We really hope so!

What will it take to convince you to release a properly-scaled Jabba with a friggin' dais this time?

You must seek out a shrubbery and bring it to me. Then, cut down the largest tree in Rhode Island with....a herring!

Everyone seems to love the Galactic Hero's line. How long before you guys screw that up?

We still make Galactic Heroes?

How do you plan to correct the glaring omission of so many integral female characters: Torryn Farr, the Tonnikas, Dice Ibegon, the Hmenthe, Jira, Jocasta Nu, Gardulla the Hutt, Ann & Tan Gella, Yarna, Tey How, Queen Appailana, Queen Jamilla, the Queen of Alderaan, and about 3,000 costume changes for Padme?