Would you do it? (The hypothetical question thread)

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:42 am

No.

And I don't even have to click on the link to say that.

"That 70's Show" Super Spectacular!!

For one full week, Laura "Donna" Prepon and Mila "Jackie" Kunis will be your slaves. They will do absolutely anything to please you, no matter how kinky, and it turns out that Mila makes the best damned lasagna in the world, too.

Well, during the day, that is.

At night, you lie down on the bed naked. Then Ashton "Kelso" Kutcher and Topher "Eric" Grace will jack off on your chest and cuddle up to you naked for the night. Aside from the goo on your chest, which you cannot wipe off until the morning, there will be no additional funny business directly related to you. However, at random intervals, Wilma "Fez" Valderrama and Danny "Hyde" Msterson will get in the bed and have buttsex with Topher and Ashton, who are still snuggled up to you. Also, all night Kurtwood "Red" Smith and, uh, the guy who plays Bob will dance naked above you.

Are you willing to do it?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:11 am

No, those girls aren't worth being around that kind of faggotry.

As far as the tubgirl thing goes, when I clicked on the link, I expected to see bikini clad babes in a hot tub. Boy, was I wrong.

You get to spend an hour with Paris Hilton. You will recieve $10,000 for every orgasm you can make her achieve. The use of any sort of toys are strictly prohibited. If you fail to give her a minimum of 3 Big O's, a clone of Andre the Giant wearing steel toe work boots will stomp on your junk.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:42 am

Hell no.

Because having the Andre clone stomp your jimmysack would cause far less damage than being intimate with that writhing mass of venereal disease.

You can achieve world peace. God himself has come out of the skies and say that, on one condition, you can end all suffering and conflict on earth for the rest of time. In addition, God will send an eternally young clone of Laetitia Casta to act as a servant (of whatever sort) in every home on earth, yours included. The one condition? You have to take it in the ass from Tom Green and the guy who plays Napoleon Dynamite, live during the Superbowl halftime show. Then, as everyone watches, you have to eat a sandwich made of Freddie Mercury's remains and have the words "Garbage Puppy" tattooed on your forehead.

Do you take one for the team?

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:35 pm

Fuck no! Tom Green and Jon Heder would be bad enough, but I wouldn't eat Freddie Mercury's remains. For some reason, that seems the sickest thing out of all of them.

You could get $1 billion, but first you have to let Bizarro the Grin ransack your asshole at any time for a week, with him randomly surprising you. Yes or no?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:02 pm

Well, since my wife had the baby, Bizarro The Grin pretty much does that anyway. I may as well get paid for it.

(Okay, seriously, for one billion, and guaranteed access for only a week, I think I could get over my qualms. A billion is a true fuckload of money.)

Here's the situation: Your wife (girlfriend, whatever) has an idea for a special present for her parents. You have to travel through time and videotape her parents having sex at various times throughout their relationship. You must get at least three total hours of footage, and you must film their first time doing any sex act they've ever performed on one another (use your imagination, and for purposes of this question, they've done some really twisted, kinky shit), as well as them putting on S&M gear in the present and getting freaky.

For the DVD bonus features, you must also film at least fifteen minutes of your parents doing the same in the present.

After you're done, your wife will use the time machine to travel back and engage in two hours of lesbian sex with each of the following: Marilyn Monroe, young Elizabeth Taylor, young Audrey Hepburn, and young Carrie Fisher. You get to watch all of this (no touching!), and can film up to five minutes of each for your future viewing enjoyment.

Yea or nay?

Slicker · Post by **Slicker** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:14 pm

If it's videotaping HER parents then fuck yes. It's worth it.

Easy one here.

Sex with the female of your choice but you have to finish in her mouth. She then spits it in your mouth and you have to swish for 5 seconds then spit it back into hers for consumption.

Yes or no?

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:46 pm

C'mon, Slick. You're just getting lazy. If I'm gonna be a quarter inch from Roseanne's cooch while she pops out a kid, I'll definitely take a shot in the mouth to bone Kelly Clarkson. Nick, Nick, Nick...

Very basic: You get to nail the hot chick of your choice every night (for up to two hours) but for the remaining 22 hours Gilbert Gottfried follows you around and repeats everything you say.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:03 pm

Sure

You get a one on one situation with the person of your choice, but first you have to allow John Travolta to come to your house and clean it all up while he is naked and you have to give him a reach around everyday for three straight months

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:23 pm

Rogue II wrote:.
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I was eating when I clicked on that link. I don't like you anymore.

Oddly enough, I was just eating when I clicked on that pic as well.

In a word. Gross.

On with the game. I wouldn't give Travolta a reacharound for three months. And If I had to do it once, I would make sure the woman I defiled was Kelly Preston and i would make him watch..and clean up after us.

You get $50,000 for each Golden Girl you have sex with, and a bonus $50,000 for each multiple partner, after you do each one individually. ( So if you have a three way with Rue and Bea, it's $150,000 etc, but you gotta do them all once alone before moving into multiple categories) Nothing fancy, straight forward missionary is acceptable ( unless you want to). How much money would you be willing to make?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:40 am

As long as paper bags, earplugs, and copious amounts of alcohol are allowed, I give each a go and then, if it wasn't too painfully disgusting, do the best two at once. So $200K, maybe $300K. As long as there's time in between to vomit and cry in the shower.

This one's a complicated one, and it's "all or nothing," so pay close attention.

To start with, you have to blow the four Sith Lords: Maul, Tyrannus, Sidious, and Vader. (Assume they're old, burned, whatever matches the Sith Lord.) You do not get a break in between any of this. You will then, immediately, be cornholed for two hours straight by Jar Jar Binks, who will be very vocal during this entire period.

You then will be given some buttsalve and immediately sent on an all-expenses paid trip to a private beach in Hawaii for two weeks. Not only will you have a private gourmet chef preparing all your meals to order, but any bills or whatnot back home will be personally taken care of by Rick McCallum. When your plane lands, you will be greeted by ten Star Wars hotties (your choice), clad in lingerie and willing to serve you in any way imaginable for the duration of your trip.

As soon as you return home, George Lucas will show up bearing a large sack (apparently magical) that contains every bit of Star Wars merchandise made to date. You do not receive this merchandise, however, until George has a go at every member of your immediate family who is of the legal age of consent. You do not have to watch, but you do have to listen. As soon as he's done, he gives you the toys, thanks you, and leaves.

From this point on, on every anniversary, George will show up with all the merchandise produced since his last visit. He'll bang your folks, hand you the stuff, and also give you a royalty check in the amount of $5,000. (This amount is tax free, but will never be adjusted for inflation.)

When you get your check, you have to play nude volleyball with George Lucas, Rick McCallum, Anthony Daniels, Ahmet Best, Peter Mayhew, Art Carney, and the guy who played Dr Evazan. If your team loses, you have to eat Lucas's oldest (and fattest) daughter.

As soon as one team wins, and regardless of who wins, you will be whisked away to a hotel room in Las Vegas with one Star Wars hottie for a weekend of passion. However, you will only have McDonald's to eat, and the hottie will complain about this whenever you're not going at it.

Yes? No?

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:52 am

Sure I would, the toys alone are worth it.

You, have to blow every member of SSG and vynsane for 30 grand and Tycho twice so he can write a long winded post giving you constructive criticism on your style, yes or no?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:54 am

Can you clarify if that's every registered member of both, every active member of both, or everyone who's registered at both?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:53 pm

Its a trap! KH is just trying to get you to blow him...twice. $30,000 isn't nearly enough.

George Lucas is going to let you redo the prequels any way you want (including adding unnecessary nude scenes with Natalie Portman) and you get 30% of the profits from the theaters and DVD sales. But, you will be hand-cuffed to peaches and Tycho during the entire production process.

Would ya do it?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 1:08 pm

Yes I would. They can piss and moan all they want, but the monetary reapings and fan adulations for the rest of my life would be worth it.

You're going at it hot and heavy with an average looking chick. Her dad walks in and says if you manually stimulate him, you can keep doing her AND her hotter sister at the same time. And if you go down on his fat nasty wife, you can take both sisters and their not quite legal even hotter sister to Vegas for a week and do whatever to all three.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 1:32 pm

Abso-fucking-lutely. Your scenario only included one act of faggotry, making it the least homoerotic one posted yet

Grimlock will be allowed to shove his giant mecho-penis in your ass, ripping you from stem to stern. You must endure this three times. On the first two occasions, you're stitched back up to your old self but lose more penile sensation each time. On the third occasion, your given a permanent Mobile Suit and allowed to kill Grimlock for his act(s). Further, Scarlett Johansson will be installed in the crotch of said Mobile Suit for anytime use.