the vynsane asylum

You guys are always crying for Yarna, so we gave you a third Xizor. Same thing, right?

Why in the hell is the upcoming AT-RT Battlepack repainted in camouflage colors? The AT-RT was only ever seen on Kashyyyk and it didn't have camo on it. Are you high?

Yes.

Will you ever produce a decent sculpt of Luke Skywalker's face?

Of course! We have produced many quality Luke Skywalker figures, and will continue to do so. Each reflects various actors other than Mark Hamill in the role of Luke, since we don't like Mark Hamill very much after that crappy episode of Flash he guest-starred in.

How many more times are we going to see the damned C-3PO with the fucking Battle Droid head?

HE is slated for a re-release next year in the Geo wave and a battle pack later this year, as well as the wallpaper you plan on putting in Anarky Jr's room.


So, how many of you guys suck dick? It has to be the only reason we havent gotten Yarna yet or Padmes other outfits, you guys are gay right?

Why don't you come down here and let us show you, big boy.

How many Darth Vaders do you have planned for next year?

That will depend on how many figures total we release next year. We know you love Vader, and will continue delivering as many Vaders as possible, in all his many different costumes.

Why can't I find the fucking GIJoes anymore?

Because we never made GIJoes that fuck. Just regular ones.

We've seen Legos, Potato Heads, and Transformers - What other toy line(s) will Star Wars cross with next?

Oh, you guys are going to LOVE "My Little Dark Pony of the Sith"!!

The 25th Anniversary Joe line has a lot of classics, as well as some newer stuff (like Zartan and Serpentor in their Devil's Due outfits) and totally new figures (like the Red Ninja). Why don't you take this golden opportunity to finally give us a damned Billy figure? Or Zanya? Or Cool Breeze? Or a decent Kwinn?

Uh . . . who?

So now wave 6 is up on Amazon. You mind slowing down just a little fucking bit?

Why slow down? We need to get the new crap out of the way quickly so we can make more room for Saga Legends on the pegs.

So apparently FYE is charging $13.77 a pop for the 30th Anniversary Collection. Care to do something about this, or were you just planning to give it the old "fuck it" attitude as usual?

Well, we are going to.....fuck it


So, how about telling us the line for the next ten years?

Speaking of ten years. It's the 10th anniversary of the Cruisemissile Trooper! In celebration, we'll be releasing about as many repainted and recolored CMT variants as we can think of. CMTs are the new clonetrooper!!



Nice gaping thirty foot wide hole where Transformers Movie, GIJoe 25thAnniversary, and assorted Marvel figures are supposed to be. In terms of distribution, is Hasbro the new Mattel?

They will get there when they get there. Right now our focus is on making sure the Littlest Pet Shop line is fully stocked at every one of our retailers' outlets. The little girls that like this line aren't old enough to complain about endless repaints or distribution like you pantywastes.

I saw some new Transformer Movie stuff show up at one store. It didn't look like they could transform from robots to vehicles. What's the point in having Transfromers that don't transform?

What's the point of telling you to SHUT THE FUCK UP (STFU) if you don't listen? STFU you little bitchers.




The internet provides you up to the minute feedback on what we will and won't buy. And yet you launch these huge turd campaigns like 5" Spider-Man which tank, and then you modify it months too late after all the hype has died down. Has it occured to you that if you listened to us, you'd be swimming in 10x as much cash?

We once heard the expression, "You can please some people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time." We like to compromise by pissing everybody off every few weeks just to keep things fresh.

Also, we're really fucking afraid that you'll sue us.

So, now I see thousands upon thousands of Capture of Tantive IV Battlepacks everywhere I go, despite the fact that it has four great army builders in it. Do you think that maybe - just maybe - the inclusion of Darth Vader has turned oh, say, everyone off from buying multiples of this set?