the vynsane asylum

Riddle me this, Batman...

If the girl from the Wonder Twins turns into a sea creature, and if Aquaman was straight, could he control her?

If Louis XIV were still alive, he'd be older than all of us.

I bet he'd come back for the nachos.

Louis XIV once stuck his corpulent cock in a plate of nachos and proclaimed to those that had not had any yet, "Too bad about the rest..."

Catherine Parr married King Henry VIII in 1543, but only for the nachos. When asked what she thought about the Kings previous wives, she said, "Too bad about the rest."

464 years later, brief biographys of both Catherine Parr and King Henry VIII would end up on Wikipedia. After reading these entries, Kris Kristofferson burped and grabbed another deep fried turkey leg. True story.

Gary Coleman has never penetrated anyone in my immediate family.

Nor has Emmanuel Lewis.

Here's a serious, and funny one.

I was reading a book on Japanese sword tactics (obviously focused on samurai). The five "rings" that Miyamoto Musashi wrote about are chi, sui, ka, fu, and ku (translated as earth, air or wind, fire, water, and void, though I'm not sure which is which).

So I thought Chisui Kafuku would be a cool name.

I looked up the translation (since Japanese is a weird language when it comes to multiple meanings for words and totally different meanings for compound words).

Literally, it means "flood control of lower parts of abdomen."

Swear to God.

Nobody ever goes mad withOUT power. Or if they do, no one notices.

RoIIo Tomassi must not remember much about the time he saw The Simpsons Movie.

As Wayne Gretzky is getting older, he is looking more like Kevin Spacey.

If Klinger really wanted to get out of the Army, he should have fucked Colonel Potter's horse.

Was Colonel Potter Harry's father?

And was old man Potter from It's a Wonderful Life his father?