The Fate of Batman

[anarky]

So there's one big Bat-crossover in Night of Owls, then a month or two, then another big Bat-crossover in Death of the Family?

Seems like the one lesson the DCnU didn't learn was to tone down the big crossovers.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

I don't even care that Joker killed Alfred Pennyworth in the first issue of the big "Joker Event" because this isn't the real DCU anyway. The real Alfred Pennyworth is back in the real DCU dusting the Batcave or whatever. This DCnU 52 crapola is a cheap imitation universe and they can beat whoever they want to death with a hammer. I don't care.

Also, who the hell is that 90 lb Ginger accountant? They keep calling him Commisioner Gordon, but he looks more like Mr. Noodle.

[anarky]

Mr. Noodle, or Mr. Noodle's brother, Mr. Noodle.

Eh, what do I know? I just know I'd bone the fuck out of Mr. Noodle's sister, Ms. Noodle.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

The Michael Jeter Mr. Noodle. Seriously, Jim Gordon looks like Twitch from Spawn. Definitely not the same Jim Gordon that kicked Lt. Flass' ass in Year One. Unless he got cancer in the DCnU and the chemo treatments knocked 100 lbs off him.

[anarky]

Morbid curiosity time: how did "Death of the Family" play out? I ain't spending money on this shit, and there's nowhere nearby to browse through titles, so, unless the library gets it, I'll never read it. (And that would probably be several months yet.)

[RoIIo Tomassi]

The finale hasnt come out yet. The next issue of Batman doesn't hit until 2/13. Then there's an epilogue the following month.
All the other "tie ins" don't really matter.

[Tom Foolery]

Morbid curiosity time: how did "Death of the Family" play out? I ain't spending money on this shit, and there's nowhere nearby to browse through titles, so, unless the library gets it, I'll never read it. (And that would probably be several months yet.)

anarky, I think you'd enjoy reading this arc, despite all the New 52 bullshit. But if you don't want to wait...
SPOILER ALERT!!!!





















The Joker captures all of Batman's "family" (Dick, Tim, Barbara, Jason, Damian, and Alfred) and has them all strapped to chairs at a dinner table and doused with gasoline. Except Alfred, who has been "Jokerized" and is butlering the "dinner". Batman is strapped to a chair that is covered in flints, so if he moves or tries to escape, everybody burns.
Then Joker takes the hoods of everybody to reveal their faces have all been bandaged, implying facial surgery. Then he removes the covers of everybody's "meals" to reveal the severed faces of the kids. All the while he's taunting Batman about why Batman never killed him.
Eventually, Batman makes his move and the place is engulfed in flames, but since they're in a part of the BatCave and he knows the cave system like the back of his hand he blows a hole in the ceiling and a bunch of water from some underground resevoir douses the flames.
Batman discovers the face removal was a ruse, and Dick tells him to go after the Joker and they'll all be fine. Batman hesitates for a moment but then goes after the fleeing Joker.
After he leaves all the kids are doused with Joker venom and start trying to kill each other.
Batman catches up to Joker in the caves and confronts him one last time. He threatens the Joker that he figured out who he was and leans in to whisper Joker's real name. Joker freaks out and falls over a waterfall.
Batman returns to find all the kids have fought the urge to kill each other through sheer willpower and survived the Joker venom, which leaves a infentisimal radioactive isotope behind.
A few days later, Alfred is recovering in bed and Bruce tells him a story about Bruce visiting Joker after their very first encounter in Arkham as Bruce Wayne and leaving Joker's playing card signature for him. Basically, he let Joker know he was Batman and (as we've always suspected) Joker didn't care.
Anyway, Bruce tells Alfred all the kids are gonna stop by for a get well party, but one by one they all call or text that they can't make it.
The very end of the story has Bruce identifying the radioactive isotope left by the Joker Venom. It's element 105 also known as Dubnium. But originally known as Hahnium. With the elemental symbol: Ha.

Joker is getting the last laugh, because the ordeal traumatized the kids so much, they've all pulled away from their father. Hence the "Death" of the "Family". Joker wins.

[anarky]

The only thing in that whole synopsis that sounds in-character for anyone is Joker only having pretended to chop the kids' faces off for a cheap laugh. I'm especially glad to know he fell to his death for the 4,823rd time.

Even if Bruce correctly deduced that Joker wouldn't give a shit about Bruce Wayne (which would be next to impossible after one encounter), he'd know that Joker would use his loved ones against him if he ever thought it'd be funny, and there's always the chance he could simply tell someone like Two-Face off-the-cuff. That may be the single most out-of-character thing Batman's been said to do in the 21st century.

Everyone holding it against Batman and essentially taking it out on Alfred is even worse. "I chose to go into this life fighting crazy murderers and supervillains, but this one scared me. Oh, boo hoo!"

[Tom Foolery]

I reread it and said the Bruce/Joker confrontation was "shortly after Dick came to live with us" so it wasn't the first encounter. But it was still pretty early in the relationship (of course, in New52 that could've been like three months ago, because they fucked up the timeline. Dick could've moved last weekend as far as I know. Fuck you, Bob Harras.) and you MAY be able to play it off as Bruce just being arrogant early in his Batman career. But either way it's an asinine move. For all he knew, Joker might've been dying to know who was under the mask, so he could break out and murder everybody Batman ever knew. I mean, the guy is fucking crazy, right? It's a dumb fuckin' gamble on Bruce's part. It's a lose/lose either way.

And at the end, the Bat computer is saying Joker:Identity Unknown so clearly Batman was bluffing before Joker went over the falls. (By the way, I'm sure Snyder did that deliberately as a nod to consistent Joker Trope of "falling to his death". I don't fault the guy for that).

[RoIIo Tomassi]

So I guess anarky is dancing a jig. His least favorite little psychotic bastard dies this week.

[Diabolical]

Me too!
Although I'll believe it when it actually happens. Jason Todd died. Batman died recently also.

[anarky]

Even though we all know he'll be back, I shout from the rooftops, "FUCK THE FAKE ROBIN!!!!"

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Even though we all know he'll be back, I shout from the rooftops, "FUCK THE FAKE ROBIN!!!!"

Yeah, well, fanboy scuttlebutt is leaning towards Harper Row replacing him.
Which is the lesser of two evils?

[vynsane]

harper row? isn't that a book publisher? if not, it sounds like a fake book publisher's name.

[RoIIo Tomassi]

I think you're thinking of HarperCollins.

Harper Row is the tatted, pierced, hair streaked, streetwise hipster jailbait from the New52. Robin's gonna have tiny bewbs. Because Batman hasn't perfected getting his sidekicks killed yet. Practice practice practice. That's the B-Man's motto. Yessiree.