The last ditch effort to ressurect the Fabled TOP TEN list

[anarky]

"Rocky Mountain High" wasn't just the name of a song.

BTW, does it make me a pussy if I like some of John Denver's stuff? Don't answer that. I'd rather not hear it.

[Eternal Padawan]

I say never judge the music by the artist. A good example is Jacko. Raging pedophile or not, his early and mid 80's stuff still cooks.

[Eternal Padawan]

Top Ten Wallaces

• 10. Alfred Russel Wallace. If not the father of the theory of Natural Selection, certainly it's Uncle.
  
  9. Rusty Wallace, Nascar Bozo.
  
  8. Dee Wallace Stone. Actress.
  
  7. Wallace and Gromit
  
  6. Wallace Fennel, best friend to Veronica Mars ( played by Percy Daggs III) Awesome show, you didn't watch it and now it's to late. Jerks.
  
  5. Wallace Shawn. Diminutive actor with a distinct voice. Star of The Princess Bride and The Toy Story trilogy amongst others.
  
  4. George Wallace, comedian who unfortunately shares a name with
  
  3. George Wallace. Racist, segragist douche. Former Governor and Presidential Hopeful. Also, did I mention he was a racist douchebag?
  
  2. Mike Wallace. 60 Minutes reporter.
  
  1. William "Braveheart" Wallace. FREEEEEDOMMMMMM!!!!!

[anarky]

Top Ten Johnny's

10) Johnny from "Frankie and Johnny." A classic folk song about a woman who kills her cheating husband. Johnny gets wasted (in all but Johnny Cash's version, which is uncharacteristically pussified), but I have a feeling he kicked ass before she popped caps in him.

9) Johnny Mitchell. 1970s singer-songwr--Oh, wait, that's Joni Mitchell. My bad.

Johnny Storm. Flame on. Seems kind of wrong to not include him, I suppose.

7) Johnny Rockets. Great place to go if you want an overpriced hamburger.

6) Johnny Winter. Edgar's brother. Frigging awesome blues guitarist.

5) Johnny Blaze. If you want a Marvel hero whose head is on fire and whose name is Johnny, Ghost Rider kicks Human Torch's ass so hard it isn't funny.

4) Johnny Carson. One of the funniest dudes to ever live. Rest in peace, brother.

3) Johnny Depp. Probably the greatest actor of our generation.

2) Johnny-Five. Because life is not a malfunction.

1) Johnny Cash. Why? Because he's motherfucking Johnny Cash, bitch!

[Ran]

Top 10 People to have a form of Roger in their name.

10. Roger Rabbit - Yeah, he's a doofy animated rabbit, but his wife has big thingies and goes commando.

9. Mimi Rogers - Actress (and playboy model)

8. Roger Moore - Bond. James Bond.

7. Roger Staubach - Legendary QB.

6. Roger Maris - Probably should still hold the single season HR record

5. Roger Clemens - Red Sox, Blue Jays, Yankees, and Astros. Probably was on 'roids at some point.

4. Roger Daultry - The Who

3. Roger Waters - Pink Floyd

2. Kenny Rogers - No, not that jackass pitcher, the singer, resturaunt owner, and wearer of the beard.

1. Fred Rogers - because its a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

[Antropov]

Top 10 Bestest NES Games:

10. Batman
9. Battletoads
8. RBI Baseball
7. 1943
6. Ninja Gaiden 2
5 Mega Man 2 and Super Mario Bros. 2 (tie)
4 TMNT 2
3. Super Mario Bros. 3
2. Final Fantasy
1. Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse

[anarky]

How did you leave off Pinball and Kung Fu?

Douchetard.

[Antropov]

How did you leave off Pinball and Kung Fu?

Douchetard.

Pinbot was way better than Pinball and even that got repetitive. Speaking of doing the same thing over and over again, that's the reason Kung Fu isn't even in the Top 100. The only change of pace comes when you get to kick midgets and Carl Winslow instead of other random, generic Kung Fu-ers.

After typing that, I'm now wondering how any game that can be summarized with the words "kick", "midgets" and "Carl Winslow" can suck.

[anarky]

Kung Fu was amazingly repetitive. But that's what made it fun. You didn't actually have to do anything; you just kept running through the building, kicking the shit out of people.

[Ran]

A top 10 list I was e-mailed today. The theme is ad slogans for Viagra using tag lines from other products.

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.

8. Viagra, like a rock!

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your peepee. This is your peepee on drugs.

[Eternal Padawan]

Walt Disney was a notorious bigot and racist. Top Ten characters in his movies that reflect this attitude.

• 10. The Chihuahua from "Oliver and Co."
  
  9. The hyenas from "Lion King"
  
  8. The dogs in the pound in "Lady in the Tramp"
  
  7. The gay skunk, rabbit, and deer from "Bambi"
  
  6. The musician cats from "Aristocats"
  
  5. The monkeys from "Jungle Book"
  
  4. The Crows from "Dumbo"
  
  3. The Indians from "Peter Pan"
  
  2. The siamese cats from "Lady and the Tramp"
  
  1. The Brer Fox, Bear, Rabbit etc from "Song of the South"

[anarky]

What? Vinnie Santorini from Atlantis doesn't rank?

WTF???

[Eternal Padawan]

What? Vinnie Santorini from Atlantis doesn't rank?

WTF???

Yeah, my bad. That guy was a total stereotype.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Movies made after Disney's death shouldn't count . . .

[Eternal Padawan]

TOP TEN Good things to come out of the Star Wars phenomenon

• 10. Harrison Ford
  
  9. Nerf Herding
  
  8. Boba Fett
  
  7. Slave Leia
  
  6. The hummer I got in the backrow of the theatre when SE was released.
  
  5. Inspiring today's filmakers
  
  4. Lightsabers
  
  3. Something to share with my kids
  
  2. John Williams score
  
  1. The Card:Other section on the original SSG Forums, which led to the CellBlock, which led here...