the vynsane asylum

Case in counter-point #1: You're never getting a Yarna, or that goddamn ice cream fag, so shut the fuck up and get over it.

Case in counter-point #2: Kids love Luke, and collectors love the moisture vaporator, so this way, everyone gets something they want AND a little something extra! Because what kid hasn't wanted to play with a giant piece of scenery, and what collector doesn't want a "Luke before he combs his hair" figure for their dioramas?

Jango is awesome, and so are stormtroopers, but they don't always need to mix. Aren't you wasting money putting Jango heads on every single OT trooper that could be better spent, say, making a new, good Jango figure?

It's a definite possibility, we'll look at this next time we look to use the figure- thanks for the suggestion.

Hasbro, have you noticed that the Cloud Car is a re-occurring question in the Q&As? Just this week, two websites asked about it.

We notice it, but we are waiting for the 50th anniversary of ESB to release it with Yarna as a pack in.



Honestly, why dont you tell all these EU clamorers to shut the fuck up already?

We're too busy fucking with the assholes that keep asking for playsets, Yarna, and the Ice Cream Maker guy.

What's with all the secrecy around upcoming figures?

As far as you know, we are never making any more figures. Ever. In fact, we are planning on getting out of the toy business altogether and get into the lucrative, expanding Property Management industry. Why? What have you heard? Who's been talking? Was it Millerman in R&D? That fucker. He needs to learn to keep his goddamn mouth shut!!





What's your next BRAND NEW VEHICLE SCULPT that you plan on releasing?

We've heard the demand for both the Twin-Pod Cloud Car and the AT-TE, and will be giving collectors twice the bang for their buck with the Twin-Pod AT-TE Car!

Each Twin-Pod AT-TE Car will seat two figures, but only include one: Neimoidian Tey How, who in the popular EU comic "Tey How Gets Nutty" steals a Twin-Pod AT-TE Car from Ki-Adi-Mundi and goes joyriding around Coruscant. The Tey How will be a repainted TPM Nute Gunray with painted-on goggles.

Look for the Twin-Pod AT-TE Car exclusively at Toys R Us next year. Suggested retail value is $90. Each store will be getting a maximum of two, so you'd better hurry!

Hasbro, how long do you think this "to get a new figure, you've got to buy a piece of shit figure you've already bought five times" gimmick can last?

Count your blessings, dick. The last time we tried a gimmick, all the figures had giant buttons sticking out of their asses. Now please get offline and start shopping, since isn't it about time you bought the shitty ROTS Mace Windu again?

First you delay the TAC figures for three months, and then they're nearly impossible to find. What gives?

Oh, but they're not impossible to get. We made sure that plenty of the Obi-Wan Kenobi were shipped to meet the massive demand!

So, last year, we got a General Veers who looked like Quentin Tarantino. This year, we're getting a Rebel Honor Guard who looks even more like Quentin Tarantino. Why is this?

It is a prelude to an up-coming pack in. Each figure will come with an actual piece of Quentin Tarantino. We just need to figure out how to lure Mr. Tarantino to Rhode Island.

Why does it seem like the Luke sculpts are getting worse and worse?

It never occured to us that when we're doing our sculpting using the real person that Mark Hamill is actually getting older. Therefore, we're using an old wither dicked man when we need a 19 year olds face.




The EU sucks.



Oh, wait. WHY DOES the EU suck?

The Expanded Universe sucks because other artists, writers, and creative people exponentially more talented than George Lucas create well rounded characters rich in history and motivation, but they don't have 10 frames in a third rate sci-fi cinema crapfest to be immortalized on and are therefore inferior. Ergo, the Halloween dime store wolfman mask edited into Star Wars Episode IV at the last minute and the digitally removed decades later still has more relevance in the overall Star Wars milieu than, say, Corran Horn, who just sucks without justification, because Corran NEVER APPEARED ON FILM.



Is the real reason you guys don't do modular playsets and updated ship sculpts because you don't actually HAVE any employees technically proficient to pull that off anymore?

No, we have the skills, but we just like fucking with you guys.

Why are so many of the TAC coins so scratchy?

My "coinpurse" is scratchy because when I was in the Phillipines last month, contacting bidders on a new plastic manufacturing plant, I took in some of the local "nightlife" and apparently she wasn't as clean as I was led to believe. I've been taking penicillin and I shaved that entire area and THANK YOU for being such a nosy nanc...oh...you were talking about Star Wars toys again weren't you....







Just to throw you a curveball...what's up with My Little Pony?

You collect them and LPS, thats whats up with them.


When the hell are we going to see Hermi Odle?

Hermi Odle. 4th Quarter, 2007. We're doing a wave to coincide with our In-Scale Jabba. Including Sgt Doallyn, Weequay variant, and possibly Yarna D'Al Gargan.


..mmmmmfffff....mmmffff...


...BWA HAH AHA HA........ooohh just kidding. Suckers....wheeeeee..that was fun...







So you must have been really happy when Mattel's only real threat to your domination of the Boy toy market, the Masters of the Universe line, collapsed into obscurity. Now there's talk of redoing Thundercats. What are you doing to insure that this too implodes?