Winter Classic - Sabres vs. Penguins

[Antropov]

Double post. Yo know who you are and you know where you can stick it.

The motif is played out, but I had a huge laugh at "The Gary Roberts Facts":

Gary Roberts Facts:

A single punch from Gary Roberts gave Brian Murray that lisp.

Gary Roberts doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

Gary Roberts doesn't need to shave his balls because hair doesn't grow on steel.

Gary Roberts doesn't party like a rock star, rock stars party like Gary Roberts.

On February 27th, 2007 the refridgeration system in Mellon Arena broke down. Instead of repairing the aging venue, the Penguins traded for Gary Roberts. Ever since then, the ice has been too scared to melt.

Gary Roberts assists on his own goals.

Gary Roberts eats Babies.

As soon as Gary Roberts came out of his mothers womb, he socked the doctor in the eye. Later, Gary Roberts said that he did it because the homo touched his sack.

During the '94-95 season, Gary Roberts underwent surgery to remove bone spurs and repair nerve damage in his neck. At his request, the surgery was done without anesthesia.

Jason Spezza came home to find Gary Roberts sleeping with his wife. He then hid in the closet so that Gary Roberts did not see him.

Gary Roberts invented the hilarious phrase "thats what she said" after his kindergarten teacher said "Don't make me whip out the paddle"

Gary Roberts once convinced a woman to suck his dick, while SHE was driving.

Owen Hart put Gary Roberts in the sharpshooter. Gary responded by throwing him from the top of the arena.

In Greek Mythology, Atlas holds the world on his back. Gary Roberts holds Atlas on his back.

Gary Roberts can dunk a basketball with his feet.

Gary Roberts was the iceburg that sunk the Titanic

We call dogs "pets"...Gary Roberts calls them "delicious".

Gary Roberts kills voldemort in the last book

Gary Roberts is always on top, because Gary Roberts never fucks up

Last night Gary Effin Roberts was caught coming out of a gay bar... when asked if he was gay Gary replied, " No, i have just run out of women to screw."

gary roberts made chuck norris piss his pants

Gary Roberts was seen fighting the fires in California without any equipment. The result? A missed game due to a "chest infection."

Gary Roberts was there when they crucified Jesus. After he saw what they had done, he went and opened a can of whoop ass on Pilate, pulled Jesus off of the cross, gave him mouth to mouth recessitation, and God awarded him with immortality.

If looks could kill, Gary would be a mass murderer!

Gary Roberts told Einstein that the equation was much more catchy if it was E that equaled m c squared, not Q.

Gary Roberts is actaully your father

Gary Roberts eats skate blades for dinner... only Jarrko Ruutu can join him

Gary Roberts proposed a new Discovery Channel show called Survivorman, Man, Wild, Chuck Norris vs. Gary Roberts...Discovery Channel declined the offer stating the show would last one episode and would be too graphic to air on television.

Gary Roberts knows how to Crank Dat Soulja Boy


Everyone wonders what happend to John Leclair, Garry Roberts got tiped off by Malkin that he hurt his shoulder, and rest as they say is history. He's not played since. Some might say thats because his game went to hell, a very solid argument, but we all know Garry Roberts layed down the hurt! LOL

gary roberts has counted to infinity. twice.

There was once a boy in Fredericton New Brunswick named Andy Diduch he was never able to walk and in a wheelchair for life until about 6 months ago when Gary Roberts was traded to Pittsburgh, This inspired his legs Andy now leads the Cap City hockey league in GWG

Gary Roberts put the laughter in manslaughter.

When Gary Roberts takes a shower, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Gary Roberts.

Gary Roberts was confronted in the woods by a bear. He stared it down, and the bear ate itself to avoid the wrath of Gary.

gary roberts is the monster terrorizing NYC in cloverfield.

Gary Roberts doesn't check under his bed for monsters . . . monsters check under their beds for Gary Roberts.

Gary Roberts would steal a Zamboni to plow the roads when PennDot is too scared to go out in the snow

Chuck Norris wears Gary Roberts pajamas to bed at night.

Gary Roberts has a lifetime contract with the Pittsburgh Penguins. It only expires when he dies (if he can) or when he stops being Sidney Crosby's personal bodyguard.

Rumor has it that a unique procedure was done today in pittsburgh, Gary Roberts just donated his High Ankle to crosby so he could finish his quest for the Ross. WWGRD?

Jesus walked on water. Gary Roberts swims through land.

[jjreason]

So you guys saw a barn-burner, eh? I was watching the Tigers pound the Jays at the same time!!!

[Antropov]

That was a pretty incredible game. Osgood was beyond stellar.

[jjreason]

So they'll have to go back to him for game 6, I'm assuming.... and wait for him to come back to earth before they go back to the Dominator. You've got to reward him for a performance like that.

[Antropov]

So they'll have to go back to him for game 6, I'm assuming.... and wait for him to come back to earth before they go back to the Dominator. You've got to reward him for a performance like that.

Absolutely. I haven't seen anything official yet, but I will be SHOCKED if Hasek is in goal.

After Friday night I was left asking: Who the fuck is this Jordin Tootoo guy? The son of a bitch was nowhere to be seen all night.

[Diabolical]

Its a fucking disgrace: NHL freezes Sobotka's swirl

DETROIT -- Some traditions never get old, do they?

Like the NHL's uncanny ability to tick off the fans in Detroit, home to one of the league's most successful franchises and arguably its most devoted U.S. audience.

So for that reason, and certainly others far less snarky, the memo that arrived late this week from Colin Campbell, the NHL's director of hockey operations, shouldn't have been a complete surprise.

But tell that to the sellout crowd that packed the Joe Louis Arena on Friday night. They were treated to a 2-1 overtime victory in Game 5 against the Nashville Predators but were denied one of their favorite traditions: Al Sobotka twirling a giant octopus over his head, revving up the crowd just before the opening faceoff.
Now hear this

The NHL has officially banned Al's playoff tradition, sending out a memo forbidding Zamboni drivers -- they didn't mention Sobotka by name, only by job description -- from cleaning up the kind of curious on-ice debris that only a diehard hockey fan could understand.

That slimy job will be left to the linesmen from now on, Campbell decreed, though Friday it was two of the Predators who scooped up the seafood and tossed it behind the visitors bench.

Sobotka, meanwhile, was forced to sit and watch from the Zamboni entrance. Violating the new mandate from the league's front office will result in a $10,000 fine, and Sobotka, the JLA building manager who began working at the old Olympia back in 1971, isn't about to pay that tab.

"I don't have it, for one," Sobotka said, laughing. "And I don't think the Red Wings are going to pay it. So we'll have to obey the rules."

But just for good measure, after he'd finished resurfacing the ice during the first intermission, Sobotka picked up one of the octopi lounging rinkside, gave a big holler for old time's sake and twirled the thing over his head.

Out of sight, but not out of mind.

"Certain teams and certain traditions, they should just leave them alone," the Wings' Chris Osgood said. "It's a shame. It's great for the atmosphere, and the fans love it. The league should ask the fans first before they do anything. That's who pays to get into the rink and see the game."

Ironically, it was 56 years ago this week the tradition started, when Pete Cusimano tossed an octopus on to the ice to celebrate a playoff goal by Gordie Howe against the Canadiens. The Wings then reeled off eight straight victories en route to the Stanley Cup, and a playoff tradition was born in Detroit.

Sobotka's own unique role in it began in 1991, as he recalls.

"Last game of the regular season against Chicago, and somebody threw one just inside the blue line and nobody went to grab it," he said. "So I went out and got it, and since the playoffs were coming up, I twirled it. And that was the start of it all -- it just grew from there."
Dissenting views

Other teams have complained about Sobotka's wild squid swinging, but Sobotka, who calls the ice surface at the Joe "my baby," insists his act doesn't affect the field of play.

The NHL obviously disagrees, though vice president Frank Brown declined to comment on the decision Friday night. But just for the record, as recently as last year's playoffs, the NHL tacitly endorsed Sobotka's antics.

"Every so often, an octopus slips out of someone's hands, and Al is right there to take care of the matter," Brown told the New York Times last May. "And he cannot be blamed if, as it tries to break free from Al's grasp, the octopus lifts Al's arm and twirls itself in the air."

It was all in good fun. Or, at least it used to be.

"Whatever the league wants," Sobotka said, shaking his head, "that's what they'll get."

[Antropov]

That's fine with me. But now I want Canadiens fans denied the right to do their, "Ole, ole, oleeeee" chant, Calgray not allowed to do "white-outs" anymore and the "Jaws" theme no longer allowed to be played before Penguins power plays.

With all the trouble in the NHL today, its absolutely sickening that they'd ban something like this. Espcially when JS Gigure continues to get away with those leg pads. Joke.

[Ran]

Like the NHL's uncanny ability to tick off the fans in Detroit, home to one of the league's most successful franchises and arguably its most devoted U.S. audience.

Arguably, but not this year. Sorry Detroit.

In 2007-08, the six Canada-based teams once again sold every possible ticket. With sellout crowds of 21,273 at Bell Centre for each of their 41 home games, the Montreal Canadiens again led in per-game average. The Pittsburgh Penguins sold out their season for the first time in franchise history and were joined by the Philadelphia Flyers (19,556), the Minnesota Wild (318 consecutive sellouts of 18,500-plus since they entered the League), the New York Rangers (18,200) and the Anaheim Ducks (17,193). Several other clubs, including the Buffalo Sabres and San Jose Sharks, were virtually sold out.

The Wings' finished 7th in Total attendance, just ahead of TAMPA. But, they were 16th with 94.2%.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/attendance?year=2008

I bet they change the goalie pad rules in the off season. They will probably try to shrink player pads, too.

Oh, and Tootoo is a punk.

[jjreason]

Wings are blessedly free of the Predators, Ozzy was supa-sharp again this aft.

[Antropov]

Wings are blessedly free of the Predators, Ozzy was supa-sharp again this aft.

Word. Another balls performance by the Wizard.

Truth be told, I'm really hoping San Jose pulls out another win against the Flames. The Avs are no short order, but Calgary is playing outstanding hockey right now. It's tough to beat a team when three of their biggest players are the ones doing the production. Kipper played a good game today, but he's been the weak link in that chain so far.

[Sleazer]

There's a black guy in the front row ?

[Antropov]

Only by virtue of it being Detroit. Its pure and simple statistics.

[Sleazer]

I hope Tycho doesn't come into this thread and accuse that guy of stealing his Red Wings shirt...but Tycho's been known to say some crazy shit.

[Antropov]

NHL players and the celebrities they resemble.

Some are dead on (Hockey Jesus/Andy Samberg) and others are just hilarious (Andre Markov/Rowan Atkinson and Alex Ovechkin/ Richard Kiel (Jaws from Moonraker, Mr. Larsen from Happy Gilmore).

Enjoy.

[Ran]

Some of those are so close, I wonder if there was any photoshopping.