the vynsane asylum

anarky wrote:So, the Humane Society considers this movie "unacceptable" because five fucking piranhas died...

The fuck? I thought the piranhas were CG?

Apparently, they used real piranhas in an establishing shot. The close-up ones were most definitely not real.

I kinda wish they'd used the mispronunciation from the original series, where Speed gave it this weird pseudo-Spanish flair: "pee-RAHN-yas."

anarky wrote:Sorry for the double post and the semen it means you'll be swallowing, Grimlock, but I just had to share this.

So, the Humane Society considers this movie "unacceptable" because five fucking piranhas died and a trainer, when not filming, pimp-slapped a chimp? Okay, there's nothing acceptable about a dude hitting a chimp (though "pimp-slapped" is my term, and it sounds like it was far less severse), but it seems from the Humane Society's own fucking words that this was isolated, not condoned by the studio, and punished.

Oh, like no one has ever spanked a monkey before.

"Severse"?

Goddammit, don't you hate when you're in a rush and make a fucking dumb typo like that and don't realize it until later?

You guys didn't post and made me have to tell Grimlock to blow me again. That Dinobot must be getting tired of the taste of my ballsweat.

Just picked up a DVD that's exclusive to Target (though they aren't hyping it) called Wonderful World of Racing: The Amazing Racer Family. Judging from the description on the package, it's an in-universe documentary and runs 31 minutes. It's $10, but comes with a coupon for $7.50 off a Speed Racer ticket (in the USA only).

This is the sort of thing that one would hope would be on the regular DVD release, but the way studios (especially WB, who released this) do, there's a good chance it won't be. Especially with the movie doing such stellar numbers at the box office.

I already PM'd mabs about it, since I know there are no Targets up that way.

Triple post motherfucker! Grimlock's gonna be sucking dong for a while!

mabs, you'll enjoy this if you've never seen it (as I hadn't): http://youtube.com/watch?v=ScF_ZGdg6ik. It actually only just occurred to me this morning that this would be on YouTube somewhere.

Four in a row? Would Grimlock even have the power to stop me now? Or would he cower like a little Pussybot?

Mabs, the DVD appears to be two pieces back-to-back. The first is about twenty minutes, and is the "mockumentary." It's not extraordinary, but worth watching. Among other things, I now would be able to recognize Kabala after seeing his interview. (He looks sorta like Snoop Dogg.) And there are a lot of funny in-jokes. It actually looks like one of those specials they design to air in 30 minutes on TV (counting commercials) to hype up the movie, but I don't recall this one actually being aired anywhere. (I also know that the one to hype X-Men was not on that DVD, and was as good, aside from a really stupid twist about Senator Kelley's daughter being a mutant with the power to turn her head into an amazingly shittily animated balloon or something. I think that was released by WB, too.) There's also a bunch of images of supposedly earlier Mach-series cars, which look like they were probably concept art for the Mach 4 and Mach 6.

The second is one of those 10 minute-ish mini-documentaries that's mostly interviews with the cast hyping everything up. So, essentially, 30 minutes of promotional materials. Still, pretty fun.

One thing that might be good news is the first part ends with credits that say Speed Racer is coming to theaters in May 2008, and coming soon from Warner Bros Home Entertainment. So it actually sounds like plans were under way for the DVD well before the release. Hopefully, given the way they talk it up, this includes a mega-loaded deluxe edition, and they'll realize that most people who will want to own this would be the nerds who'll go for such an edition, so I'm thinking there may still be a chance for such a release.

Five of us have seen it. Three of us say it's one of the best movies ever, and the other two liked it.

I think we can all agree that it's, marketing-wise, possibly the biggest clusterfuck in human history.

The critics panned it. They don't have souls. But, with good marketing, this could've been overcome.

So, what do you think should've been done differently (or, hell, let's say it, done period)?

First, visibility sucked. There were two full-length trailers, both of which kicked ass. I think there were one or two TV spots, both shortened versions of the trailers that lacked the punch. Oh, and this really poorly-done Time Warner Cable ad that's so shitty, it defies belief. (I bet there are people avoiding the movie and cancelling their cable because it sucks so bad.) If someone hadn't linked to the trailer elsewhere, I wouldn't have even seen it, and probably wouldn't have considered watching the movie.

There should've been several different commercials. One that plays up the "family movie," with lots of racing, Chim Chim, and definitely the shot of the ninja getting pantsed. Another that plays up the action, probably mostly Racer X. (I can imagine one that shows the title, then cuts to Racer X saying, "Jesus, kid, you can drive!") A third playing up the visuals, with emphasis on this being from the guys who created The Matrix--hell, go further and mention that several of your actors have been nominated for (and/or won) Academy Awards. And, uh, this movie got two thumbs up. Isn't it an unwritten rule that that's the very first thing you say in the commercial you release the next day?

I don't recall the two spots that were released airing much. Certainly not during any family or "geek" programming. Shit, one of the stars is on Lost. Did any ads air during Lost at all?

The old show should've started re-airing several months ago, to build up demand. Fuck, the rights are owned by Warner Bros, who run Cartoon Network and Boomerang, among others. Or, if they didn't want to air it, what about G4, Spike, Toon Disney, SciFi, hell, even MTV again. Plus, there should've been a new set of the entire series (not five single-discs), this time with remastered picture and sound (they suck on the current DVDs), as well as some extras.

Hell, release The New Adventures, even. It blew, but there are probably five people out there who want it.

The movie is visually stunning. But if there's a "Making Of" or "Art Of" book, I've yet to see it.

Comics: yeah, they're not a huge deal anymore. But they can remind fanboys of the property. IDW has reprint rights to the old serieses, but aren't putting out new stuff. As recently as 1999, DC had the rights--and, again, they're owned by Warner Bros. Why don't they have them now? Did they even try? Could you imagine a kid-centric new Speed Racer comic, published by DC, especially if they were re-airing the old show? As much as kids love Japanese shit? That'd be one of their top sellers!

Videogame: the game actually has two great trailers, which can be seen on the page at amazon.com. Why aren't they airing? GG pointed out that the Iron Man game trailer is on fifty times an hour, and the game supposedly sucks. And why is this only on the Wii? The Wii might be the biggest seller, but it's hard to get (so many folks don't have one), and there are still a lot of people who are pretty anti-Nintendo.

The toys blow ass in ways I've never seen a toy line suck before. The Hot Wheels are cool, but the rest of the line is essentially slightly different Mach 5's in various scales. There's even one that comes with a figure... which is twice as tall as the other figures. And the figures are wretched. But this is the same company that made the He-Man figures, and which is currently producing all DC-related mass market figures. Why do they suck? If they looked good--and, better, if there were classic figures, too--they'd be selling more. Get an old-school fan to buy the new figures, and he sees the new figures look as good, and he might just pick some up and get interested in the movie.

Some exclusives, even, would be nice. What if, say, the line had started last year, focusing on classic figures, and the Comic Con exclusive was the scratched-up Mach 5 (from his tantrum on Thunderhead)? It's a film vehicle, but it could just as easily be a cartoon vehicle.

Speaking of old-school fans, they should've been bending over backward to keep fans in the loop. Lord of the Rings set new ground with that, and I don't think anyone's even come close to that level of information since. (I don't count viral shit like TDK. That stuff just bugs me. But, still, it could've worked.)

And, uh, why weren't the actors on the talk show circuit? I saw Rain on Colbert, which was probably more due to the longstanding feud over the Time online poll that ended a couple of weeks ago. That's all I saw.

I really don't think I've seen a movie so poorly marketed. It boggles my mind.

anarky wrote:Shit, one of the stars is on Lost. Did any ads air during Lost at all?

Nope.

The movie is visually stunning. But if there's a "Making Of" or "Art Of" book, I've yet to see it.

As a matter of fact, there is an "Art of" book. I saw it at Barnes and Noble yesterday. In fact, here it is:

http://www.amazon.com/Art-Speed-Racer-C ... 291&sr=1-3

The toys blow ass in ways I've never seen a toy line suck before. The Hot Wheels are cool, but the rest of the line is essentially slightly different Mach 5's in various scales. There's even one that comes with a figure... which is twice as tall as the other figures. And the figures are wretched. But this is the same company that made the He-Man figures, and which is currently producing all DC-related mass market figures. Why do they suck? If they looked good--and, better, if there were classic figures, too--they'd be selling more. Get an old-school fan to buy the new figures, and he sees the new figures look as good, and he might just pick some up and get interested in the movie.

Believe it or not, I'd go on record to say that the toys were the biggest marketing tool (McDonalds toys included). Toys R Us had a huge display, but compared to the "Iron Man" and "Indiana Jones" lines, they just didn't seem that popular. The only movie toy line that seems to be selling worse than "Speed Racer" is Hasbro's asstastic "Incredible Hulk" figures.

And, uh, why weren't the actors on the talk show circuit? I saw Rain on Colbert, which was probably more due to the longstanding feud over the Time online poll that ended a couple of weeks ago. That's all I saw.

I think Christina Ricci was on a talk show, but I'm not too sure. I guess they wanted to market it for kids, and kids don't watch talk shows, so...

I really don't think I've seen a movie so poorly marketed. It boggles my mind.

The problem is that they marketed it too much towards kids and didn't generate enough interest in the 18-35 demographic. A way they could have done that was to have focused more on Racer X in the TV spots.

I also think that the timing was wrong. If they had released this in January or February where there is virtually no box office competition, it probably would have done better. "Speed Racer" had the unfortunate luck of being sandwiched between "Iron Man" and "Indy IV".

While I didn't go crazy over the movie, I understand what you're going through, 'Nark. I remember I was pissed when "Grindhouse" flopped last year. The fun of that movie was seeing it in a packed theater and not many people got to enjoy it.

The toys are the biggest thing they've done. But they suck. They are the worst action figures I've seen in ages.

And, yet, I'd kill for a really good figure of each character.

anarky wrote:The old show should've started re-airing several months ago, to build up demand.

Building on nostalgia is a good way to go, I think. In the promotions for ROTS and Indy 4, it seemed like they were marketing, or celebrating, or whatever, the whole series as opposed to just that one. This helps bring in people who liked the old ones and get them more excited for the new one, I think (it's gotten me more interested in Indiana Jones, at least). This might have been the way to go -- people who used to like it could rediscover why they liked it, and go to the new movie.

Along with the stuff I mentioned in the other thread, it does indeed seem like there was hardly any media coverage. It wasn't in Entertainment Weekly like most other big-event movies often are (SW or Harry Potter movies usually get at least one cover), for instance.

Warner Bros has a problem overall with their old cartoons. Bugs Bunny especially. Those 'toons entertained multiple generations, but now WB thinks they're not "hip." (Disney does the same with a lot of their old stuff.)

Speed Racer (the cartoon) could be really popular with kids, especially with the anime connection. No lie, I think Anarky Jr's favorite song is the theme song. She dances and giggles whenever she hears it.

Prior to this summer, most people under 15 didn't have a clue who the fuck Speed Racer is, so there was zero brand recognition, and I think there was some misplaced banking on that. Hell, the first time I ever saw it or heard of it was when it was on MTV back in '93. Even back then, it was unbelievably kitschy, and let's face it, the stories were on par with Space Ghost and the Herculoids. I watched it though, because it was just so bizarre, the dialogue soooo weak, and the theme song was totally whup ass.

But they spent $80 million in marketing. That is a ton.

The truth is, kids now just may not be down with what was cool in the 60's and retro-fun in the early 90's. To them, it might just be fucking lame looking. Kids are weird like that.

I am convinced it was poorly placed in the summer line up. If it had come out a few weeks earlier, or dropped in July or August, I think it would have done phenomenal. But Iron Man doing the spectacular business it did, and then having Caspian and Indy come out right after, Speed was screwed. They have to give these mega movies room to breathe.

WOOOHOOO under 2 hours til my second viewing DAMN it's like x-mas all over again for the THIRD time this year