Hey, Caligvla!

[anarky]

If your contemporaries are to be believed, you probably killed your uncle, who molested you every day from a young age. You screwed and possibly impregnated three of your sisters. You devised new ways to kill in bloody form, forced senators to sell their wives into prostitution, insisted you were the corporeal form of Jupiter, forced guys to come to dinner parties so you could take their wives aside to fuck them and then brag or complain about their performance to their husbands, ordered the Jews to put a statue of you in the Temple and worship it, tried to get your horse appointed as a high priest, and committed abuse in so many different ways that it would utterly destroy the vynsane.com autocensor. You squandered the financial surplus left to you faster than a US president from Texas with a hard-on for starting wars. The people of Rome lived in fear, knowing that you would execute and/or have your way with anyone, man, woman, or child, at any time and without provocation. You likely killed thousands of them for little or no reason. When you were finally murdered, they burned your corpse and tossed the ashes in a dump.

And, yet, your greatest crime against humanity was inspiring that fucking piece of shit movie.

Rot in hell, asshole.

[Diabolical]

And that was what he did on a Friday!

[Rollo Tomassi]

I don't condone a lot of what he did, but I can't say that if I was really powerful that I wouldn't invite guys I didn't like over to dinner just to fuck their wives and then brag/complain about them to the guy right after.

"Hey Glenn Beck. Your wife's vagina isn't very tight, so I made up for it by plugging her ass nice and good. She LOVED it! Enjoy the roast duck and steamed snow peas, bitch."

"Hey Brent Bozell, your wife was AWFUL in the sack. But you knew that didn't ya? She still said it was the best fuck she'd had in thirty years. And she's only 29! ZING! Enjoy your tri-tip, fucker."

[anarky]

If you want the God's honest truth, most Roman historians attributed sexual deviancy to bad emperors. So Caligula was probably an incredibly shitty emperor but wasn't fucking his sisterhorses. The consensus is he was wildly popular because he spent a lot of money and because he wasn't Tiberius (read: Obama Syndrome), then something changed and he cracked down on the people, and his guards killed him. More Ulysses "Shitty President" Grant than Hitler.

If the historians of the time are to be 100% believed, every Roman emperor was a total fucking sicko except for Julius Caesar, Augustus Caesar, and Constantine I. But, still, it's more fun to think there's at least a little truth to the "swimming with naked boys" and "dressing like a girl and whoring yourself out to commoners" tales.

Of course, there's always the possibility that, if he'd had modern technology, the entire world would've been exterminated.