G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

[Rollo Tomassi]

Speaking of vehicles, I have two of these bad boys.*






*Techically, they belong to my kids. I got one for my daughter for Christmas, and then picked up a second on clearance so they wouldn't fight over the one.

[anarky]

Ran, you need any BATs? I'm still seeing those occasionally around here at Marshall's and TJ Maxx, but I bet you are, too. (Funny, my toy excursions are more to closeout stores than actual toy retailers and department stores lately.) I also saw the Wild Bill vs Scrap Iron set today, so it's still out there.

I grabbed another Paris Pursuit Snake Eyes (counting the one I took apart to make Dr. Venom, I think he's my fourth). I didn't want to pass on him for $2.50. Interested? If not, Kwinn gets another sled dog and I'll either find a use for the Snake Eyes or give him to Anarky Jr. (She's already getting Mutt, Junkyard, and Croc Master from today's trip, but no guns, and no croc. That was part of our deal. He only comes with one, and now my Croc Master will now have both his "girls.")

[Ran]

I bought the only BAT I saw. Got an email saying my order from BBTS just shipped. I'm going to hit both of those TRUs this weekend, plus any closeout store next to them. Let me see what happens this weekend.

[anarky]

A'ight. Shouldn't be too hard to keep Snake Eyes under wraps. The worst that could happen is my daughter gets upset because she can't get his "card." (Seriously, it's the weirdest thing: she has a huge collection. I wasn't even keeping ROC filecards because they're so different from the 25th Anniversary ones, but some vehicle had the driver's filecard separately and she wanted it, and has asked for each one since. And branched out to the extra 25th Anniversary filecards. I'm considering, since they're all easily findable online, giving her my first copies of the rest of the 25th Anniversary ones.)

[anarky]

Oh, and the Cobra Bazooka Trooper? His name is "Dozie." She's going to be making up weird EU like your daughter, Ran.

[anarky]

Triple post! Grimlock's got some cocksucking to do tonight!

So I was looking at my daughter's Mutt. I took his vest, nightstick, gun, and helmet. (I always take all small parts that she could swallow if she sticks them in her mouth, which she started doing recently after never doing it as a baby or toddler. I got her a Pilot Scarlett, and she's the only exception, since her backpack, vest, and helmet stay on pretty well and are also pretty incompatible with anyone else.) And I thought, "Man, the legs and torso look like they'd be a great basis for Cross Country, who will never, ever be made, but whom I have a soft spot for since he was one of the few survivors of the Battle of Trucial Abysmia and was pretty badass in his run-ins with Thrasher earlier on." I didn't want to steal her figure, though. And I looked online, and Lift Ticket uses the same body, with symmetrical arms. I've got two Lift Tickets, thanks to the clusterfuck of the final wave of 25th Anniversary vehicles. (They were sold online as a case only, at least if you actually wanted the Stinger, so it was three new vehicles and the Ghost Hawk. I was one of what seems like six people worldwide who actually found the Ghost Hawk in its previous release. Two Ghost Hawks is cool; two Lift Tickets is not.) I'd thought about turning one Lift Ticket into Crazylegs (who didn't survive Trucial Abysmia), but, looking at him, the resemblance is entirely in the colors.

So, looking at the headsculpt on Lift Ticket, I'm thinking some paint on him, Mutt's vest, a customized belt buckle (gotta have his stars 'n' bars, or he ain't Cross Country), and Mutt's helmet with a little work done to make the top look like a Confederate cap, and he should be a pretty decent update of Cross Country.

BTW, I'm way behind on actual painting and gluing, but have a decent amount of assembly done. I've got in the works Dr. Venom, Kwinn the Eskimo, Airtight, Cover Girl, Jinx, a few variations of female Cobras, SAW Viper Skelton, Cool Breeze, Devil's Due Shipwreck (with the stocking cap instead of the Village People getup), Billy in training garb, unmasked Snake Eyes, a slight modification to Monkeywrench, Headman, MARS BATs (totally made up, in case you're wondering), Shooter, Road Pig, General G.I. Joe Colton, Cobra Scientists, a Cobra Dignitary of some sort, "General Hama" (based loosely on the movie character we don't see, and mostly because the movie Storm Shadow's head looks more like the younger Larry Hama than the actor who played Storm Shadow), and, fuck, I don't remember who else. Most are updates rather than slavish re-creations. I figure they're either going to look kick ass or like utter shit.

[Ran]

Don't worry about Snake-Eyes. Give him to your kid.

I didn't know Cross Country was actually in a storyline. I thought most vehicle driver toys were just throw-ins.

[Rollo Tomassi]

I didn't know Cross Country was actually in a storyline. I thought most vehicle driver toys were just throw-ins.

Reading the old Marvel book is like a race between Hasbro coming up with new characters, and Hama trying to stuff them into issues somewhere, complete with a personality.

[anarky]

It's funny, because there are obviously characters who become his favorites, and others who totally vanish after their first appearance. Cross Country has a few cool run-ins with the Dreadnoks, then becomes the only non-officer to survive Trucial Abysmia, making him sort of the everyman for that storyline. Who aside from the hardest of hardcore fans would know a cheesy-looking vehicle driver from an overpriced and stupid-looking vehicle?

But I don't remember if guys like Barbecue and Alpine even showed up once after their first appearances. I'd also forgotten how incredibly little "screen time" Duke gets.

Zarana becomes a major character, and Zandar is swept aside pretty early on. Serpentor lasts exactly as long as his toy is on shelves and dies the minute he's discontinued. Fricking Road Pig becomes a major character.

But I recall it becomes obvious later on that Hasbro exerts more creative control when it seems like Ninja Force has to be the focus for something like two years straight. The DEF and Eco-Warriors, thank God, are completely forgotten after their first stories.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Serpentor had the coolest death ever. I love Zartan.

I remember a couple issues where they had to shoehorn in a surplus of new characters to get them in the comics. One was GIJOE bootcamp where Budo and a bunch of others are shown going through the arduous Joe training and then they immediately get sent out on a mission. I don't think any of those guys were in the comic again.

And there was another one where a 2nd Cobra Island is popping out of the ocean and a bunch of Joes and Cobras, as well as new vehicles are sent to "claim" it. It ends up sinking back into the water by the end of the issue and I don't think any of those guys were used again.

[anarky]

Serpentor had the coolest death ever. I love Zartan.

Indeed. I liked Serpentor's character (though not origin) for a few issues, when he merely had the intelligence and skill of dead leaders. I freaking love when he picks up the wounded Cobra in his first appearance and, when everyone seems surprised, he just says something like, "We are men, not animals." But when he started turning into cartoon Serpentor, with flashbacks to things that happened to other people, it was stupid as hell. (I suspect that was Hasbro's influence.) That said, I do love his brief flashback to King Harold (???) being killed by an arrow to the eye in the midst of combat, then the same happens to him in the next panel. It's just so ridiculously over the top.

I remember a couple issues where they had to shoehorn in a surplus of new characters to get them in the comics. One was GIJOE bootcamp where Budo and a bunch of others are shown going through the arduous Joe training and then they immediately get sent out on a mission. I don't think any of those guys were in the comic again.

Don't remember that one, and haven't gotten there in my re-reading. Budo sucked ass. I'm not an expert on the shit, but I've read up on a shitload more than most people, and it bugs the hell out of me when people think that, just because ninjas surviving to the modern day is plausible, then samurai should be around, too. No. Samurai were outlawed by the Japanese government that they served. Even if someone carries two swords and knows the technique, they can't be a samurai. Samurai ceased to exist in 1868. Period. You put a samurai in the modern day, you'd better have a good made-up explanation of how he's there. Ninja have always been underground; samurai can't survive there.

I'm not against modern-day samurai tales (I can understand the writer might have an explanation, even if it's not given), but in GIJoe, it seemed like, "Ninjas are cool. GIJoe uses ninjas to good effect. Samurai were also feudal Japanese warriors. So let's throw a samurai in GIJoe!"

Truth be told, if he wasn't so lovable in the cartoon, and if it weren't for the Boravian gulag story, we'd probably hate Quick Kick because he's a pretty fucking dumb idea. A cloned Cobra master of mind control who was an orthodontist who drove himself insane experimenting with brainwaves, and also just happens to be a master of every other type of science imaginable, including but not limited to botany and cybernetics on a level unimaginable by conventional scientists--honestly, I can swallow that shit in GIJoe more easily than a topless dude with no shoes fighting in full-fledged ground battles.

And there was another one where a 2nd Cobra Island is popping out of the ocean and a bunch of Joes and Cobras, as well as new vehicles are sent to "claim" it. It ends up sinking back into the water by the end of the issue and I don't think any of those guys were used again.

Not true. We see Ripcord, Wild Bill, Lift Ticket, Mindbender, Firefly, BATs, Cobra Commander II, and Gh... Gh... uh, whatshisface many times after this. (Hardball, Repeater, and some of those goofy vehicles, not so lucky. But the ratio of new and old in this story is roughly half-and-half. It was the last issue in the latest paperback; I just re-read it a few days ago.)

BTW, is there a backstory to why no one ever remembers Ghost Rider's name? Is it actually in his filecard, or a joke because he shared his name with a major Marvel hero, or what?

[Ran]

I looked up Road Hog's file card. Holy crap that is a lame character.

Went to the 2 different TRUs as planned. Picked up the Crimson Guard/Cobra Officer comic pack at one and the Crimson Guard battle pack at the other. Since my wife & kids went to visit Grandma, I decided to take the scenic route home through the east side of town that is pretty much ghetto. Didn't have any success. Thought about buying the movie Deep Six at Kmart, but they want almost $8. Buying this Deep Six would give me basically the same Torpeedo figure I have from the 25th Anniversary line. Don't really want to open that one.

Did see some SW I hadn't seen in a while...Ice Cream Maker Guy and the green R2 were at the ghetto Target, and the Hoth Rebel was at the adjacent Kohl's for $4.39. Didn't buy any of them.

[Ran]

Bit of luck today. Stopped by a Family Dollar in the boonies in Arizona. I got Bazooka, Cobra RPG troop, Snow Serpent, Armored Cobra Commander, Barbecue, and my 2nd BAT. They were $3 each. I probably should have bought an extra Zartan and Snow Serpent.

[anarky]

Sweet haul!

I've yet to see another Marshall's (or TJ Maxx) with any sign of the Resolute wave. Really, I'd give a nut for another Resolute Trooper. Maybe I shouldn't, though. I've got three blue and two or three red already.

When the Resolute 7-packs hit Ross, and I'm guessing late this year or early next, I'll get a Resolute Alley Viper. Considering how many of those figures were already released, those sets are a ripoff at full price ($40 each, IIRC).

Target has basic ROC figures down to $2.46 in most stores now. They've also clearanced the Pit and RHINO at all stores, and the Night Raven at most (though others still have it at full price). Curiously, they've not marked down a single vehicle or deluxe figure. I passed on most of the deluxe figures, but, one they're less than $10, I plan to get any that are left; $6 for a motorcycle is a good deal, even if it comes with the umpteenth release of the same movie Snake Eyes. If you can find it, Ran, there was a really nice SNAKE armor in those, which is gone in most stores, as well as a nice black CLAW, which isn't selling nearly as well as common sense would indicate it would.

And, seriously, once the Ferret (which I think is now called something really stupid like the "Snake Trax") drops to $10, I'm getting another, or two more. The signature Cobra light vehicle, literally begged for since the 25th Anniversary line launched, and they finally make it in the ROC line... only it costs significantly more than similar vehicles retailed for in the 25th line.

[Ran]

Sometime next week or the following week, I may have to go past that Family Dollar again for work (which is the only reason I was way out there).

The only ROC basic figures Target has here are Destro, Cobra Commander, Snake Eyes, Stormshadow, Baroness, and Duke. Nothing I really want.

I saw that black SNAKE armor at the ghetto Target last weekend. When those Deluxe vehicles go on clearance, I'll pick up a couple. Probably the motorcycles. Maybe the one with Wet Suit as well. Thought about getting that Scrap Iron with the quad also, but I'm not buying anything bigger than that.



Yojoe.com is a pretty handy website.