http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight
I know there's a thread about this movie, or it's in another thread, and I shouldn't start a new one, but I'm too goddamned lazy to look right now.
How Twilight works
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How Twilight works

*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!