Noisy neighbors or is it just Hallmark...

[jdr3]

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May 5, 2009
Elderly Man Mistakes Card for Noisy Neighbors
Filed at 4:02 p.m. ET

BERLIN (AP) -- German police said an elderly man was so annoyed at hearing the same serenade over and over that he called authorities to report his neighbors -- only to discover the culprit was a musical greeting card on his own windowsill. Police said Tuesday the 82-year-old from Goslar in central Germany told officers he was sick of the music, which would come at irregular intervals and at all hours.

Upon further investigation, police found the Phantom ManAss musical greeting card on his windowsill, where occasional blowjobs from The Grin opened the card just enough to play an irritating tune on his skin flute.

Police said the retiree was happy to find out his neighbors weren't trying to annoy him.

[bIZZARO tHE gRIP]

oH HO HO! vAT ES DEES? aH REMEMBAIR HEEM. hE FOUND ZEE FINGER EN ZEE RUMP MUY OFFENSIVE. aH TELL HEEM, "sENIOR, EET ES MY FINGER AND EET ES MY SPHINCTAIR. jUST BEND OVER Y CLENCH YOUR CHEEKS!" sO aH WASHED MY FINGER OFF AND MADE SVEET SVEET AMOR TO HIS DAIRYAIRE.