Cops: Man with ice cream in pants offers owner $69

[Newsbot]

FORT PIERCE, Fla. – What would you do for a Klondike bar? Authorities said a man shoved an ice cream bar down his pants and then offered a Texaco station store owner $69 not to turn him in for shoplifting. The owner told police that a 65-year-old man tried to sneak the Klondike bar, along with packages of Ramen noodles and Famous Amos cookies, out of the store without paying Tuesday night.

When the store owner confronted the man as he tried the leave the store, the owner reported that the man pulled the flattened ice cream snack out of his back pocket and offered the owner $69 for it.

The owner called police, and the man was charged with retail theft and violation of probation charges. He was being held on $500 bail.

When reached for questioning, the man said, "I didn't offer him $69. I offered to 69 him for the Klondike Bar then slurp the Ramen noodles out of his Famous anus."

[vynsane]

so wait... he got caught shoplifting and basically copped to it, offered to pay what is most obviously MORE for the items than they are worth and the guy still called the cops? that's a bit low. the first thing you always say to a suspected shoplifter is 'would you like to pay for that?'

[unlimitedpudding]

Of course he fessed up to it. It is impossible to lie to someone when your balls are burried in a Klondike Bar. Its a scientific fact.