i LOVE THIS ALBUM. mY FAVORITE SONG IS DEFINITELY "fATHER fIGURE." i REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME i HEARD IT. i STOPPED BY VYN'S HOUSE TO GET A nAUGHTY lUNCHLADY FROM HIS DAD. hE WAS PLAYING WITH HIS sPIDER-mAN FIGURES, HAVING THEM BEAT UP HIS g.i.jOE'S. hE ALWAYS WAS PLAYING WITH HIS sPIDEY TOYS, EVEN WHEN THE GIRLS AT HIS JUNIOR HIGH LAUGHED AT HIM. i WENT OUT TO THE GARAGE, WHERE vYN sR HAD THE HOOD UP ON THE CAR AND WAS TINKERING WITH SOME SPARKPLUG. "fATHER fIGURE" WAS PLAYING ON HIS RADIO. i'M STILL NOT SURE HOW i DID IT, BUT i SOMEHOW PULLED HIS TROUSERS OFF WITHOUT HIM KNOWING. hE KEPT TINKERING AROUND, SO i STUCK MY SPARKPLUG IN HIS ASS. hE LIKED IT. hE WAS SO SURPRISED, HE ACTUALLY THOUGHT i WAS GEORGE MICHAEL, AND HE WAS CONFUSED--KEEP IN MIND THIS WAS BEFORE gEORGE WAS CAUGHT SUCKING DICK IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM AT LEAST TWICE A WEEK. oNCE i LET HIM TURN AROUND, HE SAW IT WAS ME, AND HE HAD A BUCKET OF RANCID SLOPPY JOES READY--TURNS OUT HE WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO A nAUGHTY lUNCHLADY, TOO.
