2 Sluts & 1 Cup.

[BumCake]

(I wrote this in a blog a couple days ago)

Have you guys seen those videos? The "2 Girls & 1 cup" video and the "BME Pain Olympics" video. Most of you probably already know of the 2 current tasteless online sensations. Well, they're not all THAT current. How the fuck would I know what's current. I don't know shit about anything. But anywho, so the "2 Girls & 1 Cup" video is supposedly like one of the grossest videos ever. It's basically 2 slut girls with a single cup. and one of the girls shits in the cup and then one of the girls eats it from the cup and then they make out with the shit in their mouths and then one of the girls throws up on the cup of shit and then they eat it.

Many people have seen this video. It's popular to watch the video for the first time and then record your reactions and post it on Youtube. I've seen many people's reactions on Youtube. Some people are so grossed out by the video that they gagged. Most reactions are just of pure and total disgust. Some people turn away and refuse to watch the screen. Others stand up and shout. And some people clearly get turned on by the shit-eating sluts, but try to cover it up by looking shocked and saying things like "oh my god, that is so gross" in monotone.

So i jumped on the bandwagon and i watched the "2 Girls & 1 Cup" video. Because jumping on wagons is something that i like to do and bandwagon jumping is something that i wish to partake in. And I wanted to see what all the commotion was about with this video. So the other night, while in Pismo Beach, me & Killerpromqueen watched the video for the first time. And we recorded our reactions.

Here is the video of our reactions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5Zhh1eykHQ

But "2 Girls & 1 cup" was not even shocking. Dumb sluts with loose assholes have been doing degrading shit for years. Minority whores eating shit is like a major fetish in various parts of the world. The "2 Girls & 1 Cup" video is nothing new. it's totally been done before. And the shit they're eating doesn't even look like real shit. The consistency of the shit is like weird. And there's a lot of it. Like a ridiculous amount of it. The bitch who shits manages to fill a large cup, to the point where it's overflowing. At one point in the video, it shows a close-up of a cunt's mouth chewing on the shit. And it is not convincing. It's totally fake shit. And even if by slim chance that it is real shit, it still wouldn't be shocking. I mean, shit is gross and it has a lot of bacteria and rotted food in it, but the 2 sluts in the video probably have grosser vaginas. I would rather eat shit than give one of those 2 whores cunnilingus.

In my reaction, i mention that one of the whores is wearing a tube top. And it was distracting. How am i supposed to concentrate on shit consumption when there's this retarded slut in an electric blue tube top? Oh what, does she not want to show her boobs? oh she'll eat shit, but she won't show us her nips. Fucking whore. what a jip. oh and I don't know if it was the same girl wearing the tube top, but one of the sluts had a hideous neck tattoo. maybe the neck tattoo is like to induce shitting. cause that's what it made me want to do. once i got a glimpse of the blue tube top and the neck tattoo, I too wanted to take a dump and make some diseased glory hole eat it. Oh, and I forgot to mention the blue eyeshadow. one of the bitches was wearing blue eyeshadow. the video was like too overwhelming. there was shit, a cup, a crappy neck tattoo, a blue tube top, blue eyeshadow, and 2 worthless sluts that i wanted to strangle with my hair.

I have very strong feelings about things that have already been done before. So many things that have already been done before become popular, as if the general public was stricken with amnesia. It baffles me. Why in the FUCK do these things become popular? They have already been done before!! Like when music bands all sound the same or they do stunts that have already been done before. It's fucking maddening.

In the fashion industry, it's trendy to bring back trends from past decades and attempt to "modernize" them. But it's like, are you a fucking idiot? Flapper hats, 1950's hairstyles, and rockabilly shit have all already been done before. And not only have they all been done before, but everybody who does does or wears those things all look the same.

Like when rockabilly chicks with full sleeve tattoos and perfectly applied makeup and perfectly styled Bettie Page hair walk around the street, they get praised. Everybody thinks the rockabilly look is so pretty, original, weird, and unique. But if you just go to a hootenanny or a 1950's style club, you will find hundreds of girls who all look the same. Maybe even some with the exact same dice and pin-up tattoos.

I really don't care what other people do with themselves because I hate most people. It's just that I don't understand why anybody would willingly go out and want to look like somebody else. Is the need to feel accepted so strong? Is the need to belong in a group so crucial to existence? Like how many people have dice tattoos? or flames? or pin-ups? or black & red stars? or lower back butterfly tattoos?

It's like going against nature. Cause nature is so individualistic. Fingerprints, snowflakes, and DNA. No two are the same. There is only one of everything in nature. And human beings, being the dumb overly-social pricks that we are, we want everything to be the same. I mean, just because you wear a poodle skirt, that doesn't mean that you're not an individual. It's intentionally fashioning yourself to match a scene that doesn't make you an individual. I don't get it. I really, really don't get it. Maybe i'm just stupid.

But when you "modernize" old fashions, the only statement you're making is "I'm a complete retard who can't think of things by myself. I have to take the ideas from past fashions, make them lower cut on the chest so I can show off my cleavage, and then it becomes my own." Most of the time, the fashion industry's idea of "modernizing" something is making it sluttier. Make a mini poodle skirt. Make a Victorian corset out of vinyl. or add a zipper to something. Yeah, that TOTALLY makes it more modern.

And it's so mind-boggling because people want so badly to belong to a group or a subculture, and yet, at the same time, they want to be different.

Last night, i watched this thing on laytex sex. You know, those people who wear the full-body laytex suits and they have to breathe through a straw. I was so confused cause laytex is a popular fetish, and yet, the people involved in the laytex shit kept saying, "oh not very many people are into it" and "it's underground." No it's not. it's not fucking underground. They sell laytex and vinyl shit at Hot Topic. Give me a fucking break. I like how people take so much credit for being an individual and unique, yet there is a clone of them somewhere in the world.

So, when I first heard about this "2 Girls & 1 Cup" video, i thought, maybe it's like some totally new gross thing that has never been done before. I mean, people were very disturbed by this video. Some of their reactions are outrageous. I really was excited to see something new, something so horribly shocking.

But then, when i finally see it, it's like, what's the big deal? dogs eat their own shit all the time. They just don't have the know-how to do it in a cup. But they'll eat it. and they'll throw it up. And they'll eat the shit that they threw up. My mom actually worked with a lady who got these 2 puppies and that's what they were doing. The lady ended up giving them away because they were constantly throwing up shit everywhere and they were getting sick because of their habit.

So then there's the other online "shocking" sensation. The BME Pain Olympics video of the guy chopping off his dick. In the video, all you see is like the lower half of a chubby man's torso. The balls get tied up, and then the penis. And then they get cut. I was told that there are actually 2 different videos of 2 different people cutting off their dick. But i don't know.

But when i saw the BME Pain Olympics reactions, i thought, that video MUST be disturbing. Some guy actually threw up. Some guy cried. Some kid was almost in tears demanding that people should never ever watch that video, saying that his own life has changed forever. It was convincing to me that the BME Pain Olympics vid would be disturbing.

But it, like the 2 Girls & 1 cup vid, was not disturbing at all.

For one, the automatic response of, "this has to be fake" just comes out. It goes without saying that the BME video is very likely fake. Of course, the video is a bit low quality and grainy. A tell-tale sign of a fake stunt. You can't see everything perfectly or close up. You just see flesh and red meat matter. And there were some little things that didn't add up. Like, wouldn't there be more blood? and wouldn't the person be shaking? And of course, you don't see the guy's face because he doesn't want people to recognize him cause he probably still has his dick cause the whole thing was fucking fake.

I don't know. I'm not a skeptic of everything. I believe in aliens. But I just couldn't conclusively say that I thought the BME Pain Olympics was real.

But even if it was real, big fucking deal. so a guy cuts his dick off. Anyone remember Lorena Bobbitt? the slut who cut her husband's dick off in the 90's? yeah, and his dick wasn't tied before it was cut. There is absolutely nothing new under the Sun. It's all been done before. History repeats itself. I should probably just accept it and deal with the fact that

But I really wasn't impressed with the BME Pain Olympics. If you notice in my reaction, I am obviously thinking about food. That's how un-impressed i was. I resorted to thinking about Mediterranean staple foods.

here's the video of our reaction:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HtQNr8G80og

In my reaction, I say that when the knife cuts through the dick, it cuts through like cheese. And then I say the balls look like olives. The video of a man cutting off his own penis is reminiscent of a fine Italian dinner to me.

Both of the supposed "shocking" videos were a huge let down. I think people just don't know how to shock anymore. But at the same time, people don't know how to BE shocked anymore. Like me.

In the laytex sex show i watched the other night, this random kid walking down the street said it best. They were interviewing people on the streets and asking them about sex, and this kid said, "Nothing is shocking. If you're into fucking doorknobs there has to be at least 800 other people who are also into fucking doorknobs. Underground things almost always reach mainstream, and the cycle continues of popularizing things."

I think the amputated BME Pain Olympics dick should get shoved in the assholes of the 2 Girls & 1 cup bitches. I think the 2 girls & 1 Cup sluts should shit in a dead man's butt crack, and then insert their elbow into the shit, and then stick their elbows into the wound of the BME Pain Olympics Guy. And then the BME Pain Olympics guy could rip off one of the 2 Girls & 1 Cup's boobs. And then eat it. And then throw it up. And then take the throw up and shoot it up his colon. And then the 2 Girls & 1 Cup girls could take dehydrated shit and smoke it. Or they could shit into a bong and then smoke it.

Or the BME Pain Olympics guy could rip out a 4 year old girl's uterus.

[Sleazer]

I saw these video reactions on your MySpace bulletin and I thought they were hilarious.