This or that, take two

[jjreason]

Must specify - are they reattaching the toe or just putting a fucking bandaid on there?

I'll take the scoots - and I'd treat myself to a huge Cosco sized package of baby wipes for my anus. Anyone without kids would likely not be able to comprehend the soothing coolness of a baby wipe on your singed asshole after a spicy shit.

Quitting the internet cold turkey for fear of death or quitting star wars (and any other type of) collecting cold turkey for fear of death?

[Sleazer]

I wouldn't need clarification on the pinky toe cutting, who needs that thing anyway ? I say off with the Little Piggy and sanity for my browneye.

[anarky]

Quitting SW (and other) collecting. I assume I can still make purchases of stuff like books to read, right?

Having an incredible night with a cougar, and finding out in the morning that she was your birth mother; or dirty dancing in the nude with your father while holding a sign with your name, phone number, and e-mail address, and having it become the next "big thing" as far as internet videos go?

[anarky]

Bump.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

No matter if it's your mom or dad, sex with one of them is far worse than dancing naked with one, so I'll take the dancin'.

Uh . . . watching Cool As Ice ten times in a row or Mac and Me ten times in a row?

[anarky]

Oh, jeez, cutting out both your eyes and eating them isn't an option? I guess, uh, cripes, wow.

Ten viewings of Cool As Ice would be 1,000 minutes, which is 16 hours, 40 minutes. Ten viewings of Mac and Me would be 950 minutes, or 15 hours, 50 minutes. Dang. I guess ten Mac and Mes would be almost an hour less torture, so I'd go that route.

Having your mind transplanted into Vanilla Ice's body and having to live life with everyone thinking you're him (and, consequently, a washed-up no-talent loser), or having Vanilla Ice move in with you as a roommate for all eternity?

[Ran]

I'll go with the transplant. Then I'd use the minor celebrity status to make money.


Consuming a gallon of raw eggs in 10 minutes or getting $1000 for letting Vanilla Ice beat the piss out of you for a Youtube video?

[Double_G]

Consuming the gallon of raw eggs. I'd only let a few people beat the shit out of me for $1000, and Vanilla Ice isn't one of them.

Having sex with Amy Winehouse or having sex with Jessica Biel after she's been dead for 12 hours?

[Sleazer]

Necrophilia.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

This next one was inspired by the biblical-themed bitching over in the Pit, as far as homosexuality and incest go.

Would you rather have sex with any man of your choice or with any female family member of your choice? For the sake of argument, "family member" includes sister, mother, aunt, cousin, daughter, or niece (provided they are at or above the age of consent).

[Ran]

Do hermaphrodites count as men?

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Uh . . . in this instance, no. They have to have a penis and no vagina.

Also, to further clarify what makes a family member, don't come to me asking whether second cousins count as family; let's say they don't. No other qualifiers can be added (so no step-cousins or any shit like that).

[JON]

I would have to say incest since it keeps me square with the lord.

btw, I took the conversation that way with some regret, but some kids need their hypocritcal shit called out. Doesn't matter now b/c its all been removed.

[anarky]

New question, JON?

Or does anyone else want to step in?

I will if I come up with something. Otherwise, BUMP.

[Rollo Tomassi]

Howie Mandel can humiliate you on national TV by making you eat his poop sifted through a cheesegrater on National TV and then gives you $200,000.

or

YOU get to beat the shit out of Howie Mandel with impugnity on same National TV and then get a bill for $1 million which you have to pay off over the course of the rest of your life.