What's up with the pathetic remakes of shit

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Sat May 28, 2005 8:24 am

Okay, it finally remained lodged in my head the last time I heard mention of it, it's fucking "Bad News Bears"
I don't know why they didn't just make a sequel to "the sandlot" rather than hit "refresh" on that sack of donkey turds

And sadly, it looks like the new FF film is gonna be a remake of the Corman version... it is especially sad to see a fave property (as we were discussing elsewheres) get fucked right up so you know it can not be re-attmepted for several years (like Hulk, f'rinstance, the only way out of that is to retract the first one)

Heyyy, that's a pretty good idea, rather than re-making films, there should be either retractions or revisions...... think about it..... "This week at the box office, Columbia is retracting the late 90's mega-flop "godzilla", a replacement is scheduled for release next summer, copies of the original can be redeemed for admission to the replacement film at a theatre near you"

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Sun May 29, 2005 2:25 am

You know what? I liked the Hulk movie. I was a big fan of Peter David's "mental health" storylines, and the whole abusive daddy angle. The movie to me worked well - making you wait for the Hulk to show up and then paying you back with righteous action. C'mon, Mabs, he punched one of the Hulk-Dogs right in the balls!!!!!!

Troopersmo · Post by **Troopersmo** » Sun May 29, 2005 11:40 pm

wait...

did you just say you liked the Hulk movie?

wow.

I spent a week dousing my eyes with gasoline to get the dirty out.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 2:16 am

Yeah, but I went in with LOW expectations. I had only recently seen the horror that is Daredevil shortly before I went to Hulk, and I was sure that Marvel had completely lost it.

The Hulk movie was actually fine with me, up until they coudln't figure out which villain Nick Nolte was going to be - Absorbing Man, Electro or Hydro Man. The "HULK SMASH" parts are wicked, especially him tearing apart the lab and him fighting with the dogs. I bought the DVD to watch that stuff over and over.

Speaking of horrifying remakes, that new "Pink Panther" trailer has me about fit to throw myself in front of a bus.

(BAH! REASON, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW, DOUBLE POSTS ON THE SAME DAY WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!!! SO SPEAKS DOOM!!!)

Snigtad Flornbi · Post by **Snigtad Flornbi** » Fri Jun 10, 2005 6:17 pm

I think they need to redo those stupdid movies from the 40s abot the arkiologist that was played by the same actress who played Hans Solo. Those movies are terrable! They should get will smith or Jimmy Fallon to play the guy. I think his name was Iowa Jones or smeothing.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 6:03 pm

Dukes of Hazzard has two things going for it. I'm going to see a Jay Chandraheskar film. Need I remind you all of the sublime brilliance that is Super Troopers? A distant second is eye candy Jessica Simpson parading around in all manner of undress. HOTCHA!

PS Napoleon Dynamite joins Big Fat Greek Wedding, XxX, Vanilla Sky, Blair Witch, and Annie Hall in the all time suck movies hall of fame.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 6:58 pm

The Hulk movie did indeed rule, jjreason. To hell with naysayers!!

EP, do you hate Annie Hall or Woody Allen in general?

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 12:23 am

My God, Jessica Simpson on the cover of Star this week has got me fit to be tied. I'm going through razor blades at an all time rate just keeping the scruff off my palms.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 7:01 pm

Wow. The more you think about it, the more this is the most UNORIGINAL year in film ever. Let's look at the track record.

Batman Begins-- based on a comic from the 30's
Bewitched--based on a TV show from the 60's
Dukes of Hazzard--based on a TV show from the 70's
Fantastic Four--based on a comic from the 60's
Herbie--remake based on a film from the 60s
Longest Yard--Remake of a movie from the 70's
Mr and Mrs Smith--based..err..on a Hitchcock film from the..umm..first half of the century
Star Wars--a continuation of a franchise from the 70's
War of the Worlds--based on a novel from A CENTURY AGO

These are the TENTPOLE films. I'm suring I'm drawing a blank on even more. Help me out here people.

GREEN HULK · Post by **GREEN HULK** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 1:51 am

BAAAAAH!!!!! SPIDER-MAN SAY NEW "PINK PANTHER" MOVIE LOOK TO BE AS BAD AS CONSTIPATION, BUT EVEN MORE SHITTY!!!!! HULK NOT UNDERSTAND.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:28 am

Hey, Sporadic Padawan glad to "see" ya

As I mentioned in this thread earlier, you left out
Bad News Bears (who knows I think it's a remake of the first film of the "series" of what 3 films??)
Guess Who (remake of "guess who's coming to dinner)
King Kong (third version now)
The Honeymooners
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (not sure if this is slated for this actual year)
I'm sure there's even more, but that's what I off the tip of me head, pathetic [beard]

Slicker · Post by **Slicker** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:38 am

Howzabout the Pink Panther. Or was that already mentioned?

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 12:04 pm

I believe Green Hulk gave it a mention- but I've heard that the movie sucks so hard that even all the useless CRAP coming out would make it look too bad so it's been moved to february release which is so sad it's hilarious

Bizarro Mabudon · Post by **Bizarro Mabudon** » Wed Jul 27, 2005 4:41 pm

mE AM ESPECIALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO dUKES OF hAZZARD. jESSICA sIMPSON AM REALLY SMART AND ME AM ADMIRING FOR MIND.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 4:56 am

Anyone see Dukes of Hazzard yet? Joe Don Baker is my new hero. Stick around for the outtakes at the end and watch as he blatantly, unapologetically, admits to staring at JS "titties" in front of the whole cast and crew. AWESOME!!!!!

And cameos by the entire Broken Lizard group was fun.