Vynsane.com's Hasbro's Weekly Q&A

[Ran]

Well, madam Douche-bot, our toys aren't the ones being recalled, so yes.

My wife's aunt can't find any of the Transformer toys to buy for her son. He must have some sort of brain damage because he wants all 5 of the Autobots from the movie. Since we're entering the Christmas season, is there any chance of finding these things in stores?

[Zero]

Our cheap foreign labor is hard at work, pumping out millions of NOT DEADLY toys that will be ready just in time for the Christmas weekend, February 22-25.


When you tell fans not to "make suggestions" for new toys, figures, ships, playsets, etc because you don't want their to be any "legal ramifications" about creative ownership. How does that work? We didn't make up the character. Or design the ship. We're just telling you 'Hey. If you make this, I'll buy it.' Because it seems everything we mention does get made eventually, thus negating your original argument. Can you break it down in such a way as not to make you look like backtracking douches?

[anarky]

We're not backtracking douches. We ain't never making no fucking Yarna. So eat it, Richards.

Why is there such a disparity in quality lately? Some of the figures (like EU Bultar, Pilot Han, Ceremonial Luke) are so ridiculously bad that you could never make me want them. (In the case of the Han and Luke, they're actually inferior to figures from a full decade ago!) Yet, there are gems like Pre-Cyborg Grievous and the Kybuck that are absolutely stunning. Do you have one sculptor, and he's really good, but sometimes he brings his retarded brother to work and lets him make the figures?

[Orbsah Stealth Ninja]

You no rikey scurptol? I know who scurptol is. He Chineese. He pray joke. He go pee pee in you Coke! HA! Buln! You so stupid!

Ah, so Meesta Hasbro-san. I would rike to a closs-ovel 4 pack with Snake-Eyes, Stolm Shadow, Ninja Dalth Vadel, and a Ninja Crone Tloppal. The Crone should be all brack with two ninja swoalds. When you make it?

[kidhuman]

When you learn to speak proper English


So, are we finally done with the 3PO battle droid head?

[Rollo Tomassi]

Until the next time we make it, yes. Don't you people understand? You LOVE that figure and want more of it. You love it because we say you love it. You want more because we say you want more. It's so obvious.



Wow. You guys are getting alot of mileage out of that AT-ST sculpt. Does the guy who did the original toolings get any residuals from you rereleasing it about 50 times in the last 20 years?

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Do you give any residuals to the guy you've been masturbating to for the past 20 years? Fuck you.

People all seem to love the Ultimate Battle Packs. They're cheap for us, very cheap for you, and awesome for everyone. So, how are you gonna fuck them up in the future?

[Ran]

The next wave will consist primarly of new head sculpts on repainted bodies from the POTF2 era. Each one will include a random Darth Vader and new clone (new as in paint job, not the mold). If space allows, there will also be either a repainted Jedi Starfighter or a Cruisemissle trooper.

What are your plans for screwing up the Indiana Jones line?

[Rollo Tomassi]

You'll love it! We're going to release the first two waves as 5" figures and have multiple Indy Jones figures in each wave. Probably with some kind of screwy limited articulation and/or lame action feature. Then after about six months of you bitching, we're going to switch to six inch Legends style articulation and release essential characters like the freaky German with the glasses, and Captain Katanga, frieghter boat captain. Then we're going to have an exclusive 5 piece set availible at IndyCon for the low low price of $300. It will have the ONLY Marion Ravenwood ever, the ONLY Belloq ever, German airplane mechanic, exclusive 6" hyper articulated Indiana Jones figure, and one of five different variant Nazi soldiers. So if you want all five, you'll have to buy 5 sets! Neat huh?




No question. I was just thinking about that Classics Thundercracker I'll never see except for $180 on eBay and wanted to say fuck you. Again. Assholes.

[Ran]

Thanks for the comments. We'll be sure to do this to something you want next year as well.

What ever happened to those 2 GH Cantina sets. Shouldn't they have been out by now?

[anarky]

Yes. Go on over to galactichunter.com and you can order them!

You've got nine Vaders on the shelves right now. Nine. And that's only the armored ones, so there are really ten or maybe eleven or twelve, who knows. What the hell? It's one thing to keep the guy available, but isn't this excessive?

[Rollo Tomassi]

You know who we have to pay royalties to? Harrison and Mark and Carrie. You know who we DON'T have to pay royalties to? A Darth Vader mask. Expect LOTS more Vader and not so much the other people.




The holidays are upon us. You know what every kid wants for Christmas? Optimus Prime!! You know what they're getting? The Decepticon that turns into a tank. Because there's about a jillion of those out there and no Primes. Care to comment?

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

You complain when we make figures of the main character of Star Wars, and you complain when we don't make figures of the main character from Transformers. Which is it? Make up your fuckin' minds.

So now I see that we're getting a stormtrooper covered in blue paint, even though I thought the idea was that all the stormtroopers would look identical after the Empire took control. What gives?

[Ro11o Tomassi]

They are all identical. They were all blue first.

Hasbro, you've been producing the modern Star Wars figures for twelve years now, and there are so many really important characters you've never made. When can we expect all these "missing" figures, particularly Kirk, Spock, Bones, Picard, and a Klingon Warrior?

[Rollo Tornassi]

Because we don't have the X-Files License, dummy.



Can someone explain to me why everyone is bitching about Hasbro when they got bought out by Parker Bros, who got boought out by Palisades, who got bought out by Kenner three years ago? And while were at it, how come Kenner refuses to make BattleStar vehicles to go with all their fucking playsets? Dumbasses.