This or that, take two

captain funtime · Post by **captain funtime** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 7:36 pm

Teflon, my big balls sweat too much in courdoroy

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:02 pm

Leave it to funtime to break the rules.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 10:09 pm

Chux leaving us another "THis or That" to work on, or Chux taking the fucking night off as per usual?

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Mon May 02, 2005 11:11 am

Remainsafetus:

JJ or EP?

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Mon May 02, 2005 12:43 pm

JJ (it ain't you KH, not enough typos)

little more conceptual one- if everyone had a one-phrase vocabulary, would you rather it be "I'm rick james, bitch" OR "shall we shag now, or later??"

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri May 13, 2005 2:14 pm

Guess I'll go with "I'm Rick James, beeatch!"

I have given very serious thought into coming up with the most incredibly disturbing "this or that" ever. I will now try to type it, but I warn you that writing or reading the following could be in violation of some cosmic law and cause us both to cease to exist.

Situation 1: Once a week for the rest of your life, Natalie Portman and Kiera Knightley (who will, miraculously, never age) will stop by your house and engage in hot girl-on-girl action for one hour while you watch. Once every two months, one of them will join you and your wife/girlfriend in a 3-way.

However, immediately after Natalie and Keira leave, Tony Danza will show up with Joey Lawrence and Edward James Olmos. You have to french-kiss each in turn while giving him a handjob, then watch as they take turns banging your wife/girlfriend doggystyle for 30 minutes each while she screams and moans like a porn star.

*OR*

Situation 2: Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley will each be your personal love slave for up to six hours at a time for up to three times (each) during your lifetime. However, whoever you pick on any occasion will be on her period each of these times, she will be bald, she will be so hoarse that she sounds like James Earl Jones, and she will age normally during this time.

Also, in exchange for this, Bea Arthur will stop by (only once). She is naked except for a covering of cheddar cheese, and she hasn't bathed in two weeks. You have to eat all the cheese from her body, then orally satisfy her for no less than 45 minutes.

As you engage in this task, all friends, family members, and co-workers will be in the room, forced to watch you. This will also be broadcast via closed-circuit television to everyone in the world. (And, yes, assume everyone has to watch.) This will be broadcast on every yearly anniversary and everyone will have to re-watch it.

Furthermore, during your time with Bea Arthur, you will be heckled by Wanda Sykes and Carrot Top, and your wife/girlfriend will have to sit in the lap of a naked Wilford Brimley. (No funny business there, but she does have to sit there.)

And for 48 hours following your initial tryst with Bea and all re-broadcasts, you can wear nothing but assless chaps and an undersized pink N-Sync tank top, and you must sing "It's Raining Men" whenever anyone addresses you by name during this period.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Fri May 13, 2005 11:04 pm

That's absolutely fantastic, Chux, the best ever. The sad part is, I just can't answer. And neither should anyone else have to.

THREAD CLOSED.

************************************************

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Fri May 13, 2005 11:07 pm

Ah, fuck. That doesn't work here, does it? I'm still not answering - and I can't believe I'm even spending any mental energy trying to deduce which one of those hells could be less humiliating, dirty and degrading than the other.

Goddamn, that's FILTHY shit. Filthy. Emperor Howdy would blush if he read that.

captain funtime · Post by **captain funtime** » Sun May 15, 2005 1:45 am

Since I never posted a question I will now

Kill Canadians or Nuke Mexico?

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Mon May 16, 2005 12:28 am

HOw about just kill you with a Canadian Nuke

You are about to die, only two things can save your life:

A blood transfusion from Keith Richards(no one else)

-or-

Delta Burke sucking the infection out of you thorugh your penis ?

Troopersmo · Post by **Troopersmo** » Mon May 16, 2005 2:50 am

jesus Chux, how long have you been pondering that shit.. wow.. just wow.

Id take the blood transfusion from Richards. He wouldnt hurt me.

being locked in the pope mobil nekid, with the new pope.. while being driven through Rome
or working in a gay disco club as the "ice boy"

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Mon May 16, 2005 11:27 am

How long was I pondering that? It took a few hours. Scary thing is, I think I did violate some natural law. Apparently Natalie Portman is bald now, for some film role!

Of those choices, I think I'll go with the Pope, but not by much.

All of my disgustingness was used up by my previous post, so:

Kittens or puppies?

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Fri May 20, 2005 11:31 am

Puppies

Having to watch Lesbian pornm with Bea Arthuir, Rosie o Dykel and Orpah

or

Gay porn with Dr. Phil, Tony Danza and Regis?(Smo's Fantasy right there)

Troopersmo · Post by **Troopersmo** » Sun May 22, 2005 3:13 am

Gay porn with Dr. Phil, Tony Danza and Regis!!

Shit yeah!! only thing missing are the nude photos you keep promising to send me KH.. you know, the ones you describe as you being one with naboo, and lord Vader..

seeing a nekid picture of Kidhuman with a Vader stuck in his ass. or watching same said Kidhuman doing a brazilian wax in the form of the beard icon on his chest?

bugger123 · Post by **bugger123** » Tue May 24, 2005 11:42 pm

go troopersmo that was hell funny