So, I got hit with the TASER. How was your day?

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Thu Nov 27, 2003 1:01 am

Yep. Hurt like stink. Discuss.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Thu Nov 27, 2003 11:34 am

There really isn't much "meat" in the topic, Jim, but I'll try to use what ya gave us.....

I always imagined it would hurt like fuck, so the fact that it hurt like "stink" is a surprise (ironically, I also use "stink" as the highest pain value, I dig the euphemistic thing)

What was the scenario, like some kind of training, or were you doing something scwarznegger-related, wherein there is always tazer-play

How long did it hurt?? Was it like the universe exploding for a sec,then nothing, or more like getting kicked in the stones, where the dull, sickening pain lasts for hours??

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Thu Nov 27, 2003 12:34 pm

Shocking experience JJ? I would think so.

How did you manage that? Police training? How many volts? Did ya pass out? Did ya laugh? Did ya kick the persons ass that did it? Did ya gothe the hospital? Did ya light up like a x-mas tree? Tell me man.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Thu Nov 27, 2003 9:07 pm

Well, I screamed like a little bitch (no surprise), then I jumped about a foot off the ground. Fucking shit. Yes it was training, we've been carrying them up here for about a year now, but I've put off getting zapped the whole time. Why bother when 3 other people you're working with can do it, right? Anyhow, luck finally ran out and my number came up. 50,000 volts (no shit) but the amperage is really low. It felt like someone took a crow bar and smacked me right across the chest (everything tightened up and hurt like a bitch between the probes). As soon as they turned it off (about a one second zap - shitrats get a full 5, praise Jesus) I swore like a sailer. The points of contact left little burns on me, right through my clothes. Way worse than I would have thought.

Moral of the story? Don't do violent crime, and if you DO happen to do violent crime, don't resist arrest or fight with PoPo. I definitely can sympathize with Luke at the end of the OT now.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Fri Nov 28, 2003 8:42 am

Ya see, JJ, you coulda saved some time and bread by taking the taser in the midsection a few weeks ago..... woulda cauterized itself and everything...

Sorry, man, but that IS the first thing that crossed my mind.....

I'm surprised that you got burned, I imagine that 5 seconds would probably end up doing some damage if that's the case.... knowing you, though, I imagine a person would really have to ask for it before you subjected them to it....
I find it sorta funny that someone would fight with police these days... you'd think it requires a death-wish, I can't fathom how one would imagine such a thing to end well, taser or no....

So, next time the taser demonstration comes up, can you decline on the grounds of having done it already??? It sounds like the kind of thing where one zap would do it...

Also, if I may ask, why is it that police have to feel the taser anyways??? Is it a confidence builder, does it help to use the tasers more effectively, or is it just some sort of wacky thing that happens and no-one knows why??

PPS- the burns you got- are they shaped like a starbrand or anything??? You know how it goes, marvel-wise...

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Fri Nov 28, 2003 6:32 pm

Amazingly, they were shaped like little stars. No scabs or anything, no wicked little scars.

I think the exposure is to let us know what it feels like, so that we're not taken by surprise if we get done by mistake at work. It's also supposed to give us an understanding of how much it does hurt so that we don't go overboard on the scrotes.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 9:56 am

A friend of mine (the little ones' mother's ex girlfriend) just went through the academy and they taped a bunch of the exercises for shits and giggles. They had big grown men falling like sacks of hammers and all the other recruits busting agut. The other funny ones were watching the cadets chase after the person with the mace spray with a whiffle ball bat and seeing how much they can take in the face before they drop the bat. Some of those guys took quite a bit and some dropped like sissy nancy boys after the first teeny spritz.

Post by **vynsane** » Sun Nov 30, 2003 4:54 pm

awwww, man.. thats gotta hurt... holy crap.

i've been reading, just not responding - haven't had much time to lollygag recently.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Mon Dec 01, 2003 1:17 am

Yep, now all I have to do is "pay it forward" to the next fucker that wants to step up...... you'll read it about it here first, folks.

Troopersmo · Post by **Troopersmo** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 12:12 am

wow. damn. HOLY FUCKIN SHIT BALLS OF STEEL MAN! I guess its good to get a taste through training 1st though. Dont want to be fumblin with it while trying zap some tard and have it knock your own ass down. I guess youll have to be somewhat thankful the off button wasnt stuck after they zapped you,...

but seriously.. your all in the heat of the moment, this fuck is all - Des aint my pants, Des my bruddas pants, Dat aint my gun, Im on my way to da sto to buy my baby some pampas.. and he puts up a tussle.. you zap the shit outta him.. do you really count to 5?

***ZZZZIIIIIAAAAAAPPPPP**** one thousand one... one thousand two.. ( AGGGRRHHHHHHH!!! ) one thousand three.. ( HELP ME SWEET JESUS!! ) one thousand four.. ( PLEASE FATHER! I KNOW THERE IS STILL GOOD IN YOU!! ) one thousand five..

shit.. great, now all I can think about is what it would do to a few cats in my neighborhood...

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 2:41 am

I hear that! Thank god it has an auto shut off. All we have to do is let up on the trigger once it starts, and it cuts out by itself.

Grimlock · Post by **Grimlock** » Wed Apr 06, 2005 12:09 pm

Today me Grimlock get shot twice by null ray, then have cluster bombs blow up in Grimlock face. Then Onslaught come out with sonic stun gun. Grimlock ears still ringing. But Grimlock get to eat stupid Combaticon Brawl. Brawl really dumb Combaticon, and now Bruticus hobble around on one leg, so day worth it.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 2:41 pm

Yeah, none of the combaticons are even half as good as their hype would have you believe, good job there G-lock (your gangsta name btw)

I managed to almost sever my left middle finger the other day slicing a bun open to put some veggie dogs on.. I had some smaller, pre-sliced buns, but I wanted to load the fucker down with sauerkraut and shit so I went for the huge-ass sub buns and the goddamn bread knife was WAY sharper that it has a right to be

GREEN HULK · Post by **GREEN HULK** » Thu May 26, 2005 12:42 pm

<font color="yellow"><font size="4">RAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! HULK HIT BY 2 MISSILES AND THROWN INTO RAGING RIVER BY ABSORBING MAN. HULK NOT PISSING AND MOANING LIKE PUNY SKINNY FACES. SKINNY FACES NEED TO LEARN TO SMASH HURTIES. HULK SMASH HURTIES ALL DAY WHEN BETTY NOT WANT TO SEE LITTLE GREEN MAN.</font id="size4"></font id="yellow">

pyrofreak · Post by **pyrofreak** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 5:42 pm

yeah, my friend found my tazer two days ago. lets just say it was a long night....of tazer tag....and he was it all night long.....