This or that, take two

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:22 pm

Fine. Dell. Less weird.

Let Snigtad autograph your wife's rack with a permament marker or let Snigtad autograph your man meat with a permament marker?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:25 pm

My honker. I prefer looking at my wife's rack than my own wiener, so I'd rather those boobies not be marred.

Battle of the truly horrifying choices:

Listening to Bob Saget talk for three hours straight, or giving Bob Saget head?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:32 pm

I'll suffer for the 3 hours.

Have Rachael Ray walk around your house naked for a year, cooking all of your meals (but you can't touch her) OR free porn for a year?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:35 pm

So, essentially a hands-off situation of one sort or another for a year?

I'll go with Ms Ray. Food and porn is better than just porn.

Having a Scarlett Spider-type clone who steals your life, with no one believing you're the real you, or having to live the rest of your life looking and sounding like Gilbert Gottfried?

Post by **vynsane** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:01 pm

if i had a scarlet spider clone, that would mean i was spider-man, so HELLs yeah! i wouldn't care that my life was stolen as long as i could climb walls and shit.

you're stuck in traffic on the bay bridge and you've just had a really big cup of coffee and two bran muffins HELLO!

OR

being electrocuted. i was electrocuted once... it was very painful.

(anyone get that reference???)

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:13 pm

Electrocuted. Get the pain over with quickly.

Isn't that from So I Married an Axe Murderer?

Having your parents catch you rubbing one out or having your wife's parent's catch you and your wife "in session".

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:35 pm

Her parents catching me - preferably behind their daugther with both hand on my lower back, thrusthing vigorously. I'd even give her folks the old "thumbs up", 'cause I'm a good sport.

No smilies to use, or no signature function?

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 8:39 pm

No sig function

Clean McDonalds toilets with your tongue or jerking off with sandpaper?

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:30 am

Goddam, KH. You're twisted...

Cleaning bathrooms at McD's. At least it doesn't directly effect my sausage.

Eating shit out of a hollowed out watermelon or eating watermelon from a dog's asshole?

Post by **vynsane** » Wed Jan 17, 2007 8:33 am

CaptainSolo1138 wrote:Cleaning bathrooms at McD's. At least it doesn't directly effect my sausage.

he never said where the McD's is... if it's in NYC, i'd likely take the sandpaper, as you might end up with some sort of VD that makes your dick look like that anyway, on top of the after-taste of stale homeless man urine.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Wed Jan 17, 2007 8:45 am

vynsane wrote:he never said where the McD's is... if it's in NYC, i'd likely take the sandpaper, as you might end up with some sort of VD that makes your dick look like that anyway, on top of the after-taste of stale homeless man urine.

I actually thought of that after I posted it but was feeling much to lazy to edit it. I guess my argument is that you only have a chance of getting the clap, where as if you rub one out with 40 grit you know you're gonna be in rough shape.

Sweet God. Did I really just justify my decision for "This or That"?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Mon Nov 26, 2007 4:34 pm

Digging this gem up again....

Both of those sound pretty fucking nasty, Cappy, but somehow, even though it technically should be nastier, eating shit from a watermelon sounds less vomitacious than eating watermelon out of a dog's ass. (If nothing else, you'll know when you're done, I suppose.)

Situation 1: You have powers like Ned from Pushing Daisies. (Meaning, touch a dead body once, it comes back to life; touch it again, it dies again, permanently.) Kelly Clarkson is your roommate and is totally devoted to you. And she's a nudist, and likes to masturbate a lot. Unfortunately, you already brought her back from the dead. And if you dump her or look at another woman, she'll go to the authorities, and they'll dissect you, or something.

Situation 2: You get to spend the rest of your life with Mandy Moore. And she's just as perfect as you'd think in every way, and she has some magical power to never age. Only thing is, she's pretty much asexual. As in totally. You'll get one blowjob (or 69) every year on your birthday, and you get to fuck her as much as you want every February 29. It'll be the best sex you can imagine, and it is with Mandy Moore, but you only get it once every four years. Aside from that, you'll never even get to see her in her underwear or any other clothing that's even remotely sexy.

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:59 pm

Mandy Moore is hotter, and that's more sex than I'm currently having (also known as "none"), so I'll take situation 2.

Would you rather eat everything in one of those Target Hoth Battlepacks (you can cook it) or spend half a day with one of the AT-ST's legs up your ass?

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:00 pm

Packaging materials and all, or just the toys?

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:05 pm

Box, toys, plastic shit, and all.

the vynsane asylum

This or that, take two

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